Sibling rivalry and teasing can be left behind as children grow up or it can be carried into adulthood.
A 26-year-old woman dealing with her 24-year-old brother and things he said about her. She turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback on how she responded.
Redditor riverly17 asked:
“AITA for telling my brother to shut up after he shamed me for getting a surgery done on my jaw?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I was born with a bad underbite, for those of you who don’t know what that is, it’s when the lower jaw protrudes beyond the upper jaw.”
“About two years ago I went for a jaw corrective surgery to correct my underbite.”
“I did this for several reasons:”
“1) The underbite caused me to have difficulty speaking and pronouncing certain words.”
“2) Because of my previous jaw alignment, I often felt discomfort around my mouth area. Although this didn’t affect my daily life, it was annoying to deal with.”
“3) I had problems chewing and/or biting food.”
“4) It was my biggest insecurity. I went through high school with an underbite which was a blast, a lot of people made fun of it.”
“My jaw correction surgery went wonderfully and my jaw is now completely healed and I don’t have an underbite anymore. This has helped me gain a lot of confidence and has also made my life easier.”
“Yesterday my brother’s girlfriend (20 Female) came over to our house for the first time. It was my first time meeting her and luckily, we got along well.”
“While we were chatting his girlfriend made a comment that I was ‘really pretty’. My brother laughed at that and said ‘you should have seen her before her jaw surgery’.”
“I was very hurt by his comment but I chose not to say anything because I didn’t want to ruin the night.”
“But then his girlfriend asked him to elaborate and my brother told her the story of my underbite and the surgery I went for to correct it. He then added that I went for the surgery because I was vain and wanted to look better.”
“I admit that’s one of the reasons why I went for the surgery but there were other factors that made me go for it (as I have explained earlier).”
“I told him that wanting to look better wasn’t the only reason for getting the surgery and he said ‘yeah, yeah, whatever you say, but you can’t deny that you had plastic surgery before which is an unnatural thing to do’.”
“I felt humiliated and in the heat of the moment I told him to shut up if he didn’t know anything.”
“My brother told me I was being a jerk beacuse he made a passing remark that was factual. But I think he was being a little insensitive to my feelings.”
“AITA for telling him to shut up?”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided the OP was definitely not the a**hole.
“One of my friends is a dentist and says this condition can cause bad issues with both jaw later in life (requiring surgery anyway), tooth alignment and chewing/speaking all the time, unless the underbite is mild and can be corrected with braces or facial growth orthodontics if done very young.” ~ Jay-Dee-British
“This is true. I have an underbite and I was supposed to go for the surgery but found another orthodontist who managed to hide and fix the condition with some extraction and braces.”
“I can now chew better andstopped accidentally biting my cheeks which used to cause a lot of discomfort and pain.”
“None of my family nor my fiancé or friends gave me sh*t about being vain for getting it corrected. They never said anything about me looking prettier or uglier before, they only said I look a little different.”
“OP’s brother is rude and nasty and I would have broken up with him if I was his girlfriend. One of the reasons I ended things with the guy I was seeing before my fiancé was because of something like this.”
“If that is how he treats his sister, how would he treat me?” ~ EarthwormJane
“NTA – I’m sick of this bullsh*t trend lately of ‘but it’s true,’ as if truth isn’t sh*tty. Even if you fixed your jaw entirely for vanity purposes, that’s no excuse to try and humiliate you in front of a stranger.”
“I’m overweight, but someone repeatedly calling me fat is sh*tty and insensitive, even if we both know it’s true.” ~ Neildavies
“In this case it isn’t even entirely true—OP got a surgery for a variety of reasons that included cosmetics and also medical concerns.”
“If it had exclusively been a cosmetic issue then who knows if OP would have actually gone through the pain and cost—there’s no way to know because this wasn’t exclusively a cosmetic surgery.”
“Even if it was purely plastic surgery for aesthetics, if OP wanted it and paid for it, who cares?”
“If it makes her happy why does he have to come and give his negative opinions and try and shame her to a stranger.” ~ robot428
“NTA, but your brother is a huge one.”
“It’s also ‘unnatural’ to get a blood transfusion, organ transplant, corrective lenses, and just about any medical procedure not just those deemed cosmetic.”
“Would he pass up a skin graft if he got into an accident and suffered a severe burn? Would he let a spouse die in labor because a c-section is not natural?”
“Usually those that scream about cosmetic surgery and/or procedures that can be partially cosmetic are insecure about either their own bodies or feel entitled to control the bodies of others.”
“Also even if your jaw surgery was 100% about appearance you have the right to be comfortable in your body.” ~ lottiedottie_da
“Obviously NTA. I was a nurse in a wing where 50% of our patients were jaw surgery patients. It was so invasive, scary, and overwhelming for them.”
“You’ve gone through a lot, especially with the healing process. Your brother is just being a jerk, deflecting, I’m not sure.”
“It doesn’t even matter why you had your jaw surgery, all that matters is you’re doing better now. I’ve seen before and afters of all my patients and it’s mind-blowing.”
“Some of them go from being poor students to honor roll students. Many of them are helped out of depression and can speak correctly for the first time in their lives.”
“This is a big deal for you. Congratulations on making it through the other side.” ~ bitter_oldqueen
Redditors were clear the OP was not the a**hole, but her brother was. Whatever his motivation was for the things he said, hopefully he can learn to treat his sister with respect.