The old borrowed Netflix password. It’s become a staple of contemporary life.
An old lover, a family member, or a trusted friend is kind enough to let someone use their login information to stream shows and movies to their hearts’ content.
And that person stays logged in for as long as humanly possible, sometimes months after a breakup or a falling out.
But one Redditor recently tightened the screws, and he had no idea the storm it would cause.
He explained the incident in a post to the “Am I the A**hole (AITA)” subReddit.
The Original Poster (OP), who goes by shooto_style, explained the troublesome dynamic in the post’s title.
“AITA for getting angry at my wife for signing into my streaming media accounts (Netflix, Prime, Disney+) on OTHER peoples devices without my permission?”
OP kicked off with some critical family information.
“So this has been a problem before we were married (we had a social distanced wedding late 2020).”
“My wife comes from a pretty big family, over 20 nephews and neices age ranging from 1yo to full grown adults in their 20s.”
“My wife loves that she’s an aunt to the kids, always spoils them (I don’t mind this btw).”
Then OP moved on to the real issue: streaming on the regular.
“Anyway, I have accounts with all the major streaming services available to me.”
“I have given the log in details to my sisters and wife, who was my girlfriend at the time, to use on their own devices, I’m very laid back, don’t have any issues if I see the ‘All screens are in use’ message on Netflix as I can watch something on Prime etc.”
But OP was struck by a new development.
“Slowly I get emails regarding log ins to devices I don’t recognise, iPhones, iPads, etc. My wife tells me she logged in on a particular sisters kids devices (they both each have iPhones and iPads, they are 6 and 4).
“I was really annoyed at this as I feel this is a major break in my trust. I work in IT and I know the security implications this can cause.”
“But I bite my tongue and let this go and tell her not to log into any other devices.”
But everyone has a breaking point.
“Weeks later I came home from a long, stressful day at work, one of those F*ck everything days.”
“On the commute home, all I could think of was having a nice shower, meal and binge netflix until bed.”
“I get home, have my shower, get my dinner ready and turn on the telly to watch Netflix and get the message; ‘Unavailable. Too many users logged in.’ “
“I’m really annoyed now as I can see 4 devices logged and I’m sure I only have the plan that allows 2 devices.”
So OP did some sleuthing.
“I go check both my sisters and see they’re not logged into netflix.”
“Log into my laptop and checked the devices and IP and MAC addresses which I don’t recognise but notice, they are based in my fiance’s area.”
“I then notice someone has upgraded my account to the most expensive plan without my permission.”
To OP, the culprit was obvious
“I message my wife as I am too angry to talk, not only has she passed on my details to multiple people but someone has cost me money by upgrading my plan.”
“She tells me, everyone that is in her house has logged off but there is still one more device still logged on. I am seething now, more than one household is leeching off me.”
“I instantly check all devices and notice more than 10 devices!. I instantly log off all devices and change the password.”
That led to a heated back and forth.
“Had a go at my Mrs and tell her the security implications and that someone upgraded the plan without authorisation.”
“My wife gets annoyed and tells me I’m overreacting and I took away the kids source of entertainment.”
“I hit back and tell her parents should sign up if they want Netflix etc. and it wasn’t my problem if the kids are being entertained blah blah.”
“I feel a bit bad for logging off all the devices as I genuinely am very fond of the kids but I don’t trust anyone logging into any of my accounts that have my bank details stored. AITA??”
And in some follow-up edits, OP clarified some details.
“UPDATE – Just found my Disney Plus details on my 4 year old neice’s iPhone!! I know this is a brand new log in as Disney Plus wasn’t up when this issue first started”
“EDIT – A lot of people are not aware of the major security breach in this situation. Having apps or services with my bank details on any unmanaged devices can be potentially disastorous.”
“I have had my bank account compromised 3 times in 10 years so am extra diligent”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Redditors threw full support behind OP.
Many felt this situation illustrated more universal issues.
“NTA, and you hit the nail on the head by bringing up trust. The Netflix password wasn’t hers to give away; you trusted her with it, and she betrayed that trust.”
“Granted, now that you are married there is more nuance to the ownership, but even if it were considered a joint account now, that would still mean neither of you should be giving out the password without talking to the other.”
“Ironically, what she did was very selfish, despite the fact that it involved gifting. She claimed the enjoyment of spoiling her nephews/nieces for herself and left you to deal with the consequences to your convenience and security.” — blahdefreakinblah
“NTA. You had asked her already not to do it again and she ignored you and did what she wanted anyway.”
“I wouldn’t give her the password again, at least until she promises to NEVER to the same thing again and with the understanding that, if she does, she never gets the pw again.” — the_last_basselope
Others echoed his security concerns.
“NTA, this is not your responsibility to provide them entertainment, particularly when it compromises your IT security.” — revmat
NTA..and I think some comments are missing the point on security and the fact your details (including financial information) are held on these accounts. Giving people access gives them access to some of your financial information.”
“These sites aren’t just subscription based streaming, they also allow people to rent or add channels.”
“I don’t know what protocols there are if a rental is purchased, but I would imagine having the password would go a long way in allowing these other people to rent movies, or add channels on your dime and the first you know about it is an email notification.” — Neither_March4000
“NTA here. I am only married to an IT professional and I’m cringing at the potential security disaster.”
“Get every device that is not known logged off and change every single password to something wife will never guess. If she wants all these streaming services to share, she can sign up for them on her own.” — mehIrun
And plenty of people crunched the numbers to see how truly stingy his family was being.
“NTA Jeez how cheap are people.”
“For $10 a month, all of these people can set up their own account and then deal with who is being bumped off THEIR system. With 10 people, it would seem to work out to $1 per month per person.” — Jujulabee
“NTA. This is on the parents to pay for, not for you to subsidize all of the kids entertainment. At some point, there needs to be a limit, which she doesn’t seem to respect” — simba1998
“NTA, she can pay for the accounts if she wants to share. It’s not a huge cost, but you pay for the convenience of them, not to be fighting for a slot from other people, who haven’t even got your permission to use them.” — loxima
If the unanimous support of these Redditors has any away, OP’s family may be in for a surprise the next time they sit down to watch something.