Redditor Major-Table-3158 had a difficult ending to their 6-year marriage in 2020 after she found out her ex-husband was cheating on her.
The Original Poster (OP) has since learned her ex and his affair partner went on to have a child. She and her ex have not spoken since the divorce.
However recently, the OP’s ex showed up at her house unannounced with his child and dropped the young kid off at the OP’s house.
Why? His affair partner was in the hospital giving birth to their second child.
The OP was left baffled and confused, and not knowing what else to do she called the cops.
Her decision to involve the police has driven her to subReddit “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA).
She asked:
“AITA for calling police on my ex for abandoning his child at mine while his girlfriend was giving birth?”
She went on to say:
“I [32-year-old female] have been married to my ex ‘Dan’ [35-year-old male] for 6 years before we divorced at the end of 2020 due to him cheating with ‘Kate’.
“Kate and Dan have a son who is 3 which was conceived and born during the pandemic while I was under high risk and their entire affair has cost me some of my physical health, not just mental one.”
“After the divorce Dan moved out from my house and we haven’t spoken since.”
“Last week Dan suddenly dropped his son at my house without giving me any warning or explanation.”
“He only mumbled that Kate was giving birth to their second child and needs him in the delivery room due to complications.”
“He left before I could protest and I have tried texting and calling him multiple times and have received no reply.”
“I do not know why he thought it is a good idea as I had plans and they definitely don’t involve someone else’s child.”
“I ended up calling the police and have told them what happened, explained it is not my child and I haven’t agreed to look after him and his dad is not responding.”
“They took the child and I haven’t heard anything until very early hours of the same day when my ex called me calling me an a**hole…”
“…as the cops found them in the hospital and basically forced him out of delivery room so he can look after his child so he missed the birth of his second…”
“…and Kate had some complications so she is in intensive care.”
“He also started shouting saying that his and Kate’s parents are living at the opposite ends of the country and have medical conditions which mean they can’t look after his son.”
“I have told him that he should have used his brain cells and thought about it in advance instead of dumping the product of his affair at my house…”
“…knowing that me and him are not civil, but was called even bigger a**hole.”
“I have mentioned this to some of my family and friends and while some people are on my side, others agree with my ex saying I should have looked after the kid…”
“…and an a**hole for calling the cops.”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided:
“NTA”
“I mean, I do feel for that poor kid, being dropped off at a total stranger’s house, who then calls the police and the police take him to his dad and his dad is stressed and furious.”
“That must have been a hellishly traumatising night for him.”
“But you didn’t decide to traumatise the boy like that: his dad did.”
“Of course his dad should have figured out ahead of time what the plan was for looking after a three-year-old if his mom had to go to the hospital.”
“Of course the plan should not have included ‘dump boy on ex with no notice’.” – Enough-Process9773
“NTA”
“The cheating ex isn’t the only one at fault. Good old Kate, the AP, was involved, too. What to do with the child should have (and likely was) part of the birthing plan.”
“They had a good 8 months to figure this out. Don’t either of these mental giants have friends?”
“Their best option was to drop the boy off at a stranger’s home, expecting the stranger to just accept the situation?”
“NTA NTA NTA”
“It’s not like the child was put into the foster system. They just returned him to the responsible (cough, cough) party.” – blondeheartedgoddess
“You haven’t spoken to this man in 3 years and he suddenly turns up expecting you to look after the child he had with his affair partner? This is absolutely bonkers.”
”Of course it was a very sh*tty situation for the child to be in but that’s not your fault or responsibility. Dad put him in that situation.”
“NTA” – DominarDio
“‘He also started shouting saying that his and Kate’s parents are living at the opposite ends of the country and have medical conditions which mean they can’t look after his son.’”
“Bit rich of him to expect you to care about any of that, after he gave zero craps about your health.”
“‘I have mentioned this to some of my family and friends and while some people are on my side, others agree with my ex…’”
“‘…saying I should have looked after the kid and an a**hole for calling the cops.’”
“Tell those other friends they are more than welcome to look afte a child that’s dropped on their door step, but doesn’t mean you have to do the same.”
“NTA” – Final_Figure_7150
“‘others agree with my ex saying I should have looked after the kid and an a**hole for calling the cops.’”
“They’re wrong. It’s not your job to keep the peace and make life easier for your cheating ex, who made your life harder by his cheating…”
“…while wasting years of your life and negatively affecting your health. His lack of preparation is not your emergency. Since divorce, you’re not his back up plan anymore.”
“Don’t want the police to treat you like a neglectful parent? Easy. Don’t be one.”
“NTA” – ChibiSailorMercury
“NTA good for you for sticking up for yourself. 100% he was dipping his toe in the water to see how much sh*t he could stick you with.”
“It’s his fault for not having the common sense to use google to find an overnight sitter.” – compiledexploit
“NTA. I feel very, very sorry for that child but that’s not your problem nor should it be.”
“‘saying that his and Kate’s parents are living at the opposite ends of the country and have medical conditions which mean they can’t look after his son. ‘“
“And those parents moved away and got health conditions after Kate started giving birth? What are the odds!”
“It’s piss poor planning from his side, at the least. I hope for the child’s sake this is an incident but I fear the worst.” – Attygalle
“NTA WTF is wrong with your ex that you popped in to his head as hey she’ll watch my kid no. If anything you where nice you could have just bad mouthed them to the kid (I would have).”
“Also WTF to they know literally none else like neither of them have friends?” – Electrical-Sleep-853
“NTA. Your ex’s lack of foresight and planning is not your mess to clear up. Why on earth he considered dumping the kid on you is beyond me.”
“If that kid hurt itself whilst under your care, you and only you would have been in the sh*t. Calling the police was the only reasonable response in this situation” – tabbycatt5
“NTA. F*ck Dan. Way to be an a**hole…. Again.”
“You don’t owe him anything. Better to nip this in the bud now before he starts listing you as an emergency contact for his kids.”
“Like the mental gymnastics this guy is playing to think this would be a good plan of action is WILD.” – OptimistPrime527
“Mute his number honey. Advise him that further contact will be considered harassment and that you will report him to the authorities if he chooses to continue.”
“You did everything right. Your ex is unhinged and absolutely none of this is your business.”
“NTA” – Personal_Regular_569
“NTA Seriously you were the only person you could think of to take care of his son when his wife was in labor?”
“To the people who are supporting him maybe they can go and help him out. Him dropping of the child at your doorstep is same as random stranger dropping off their kid.”
“Calling the cops nipped this in the bud. If you didn’t do it he would have tried to push your boundaries again when he needed help with his” – getstrongandlean
“Nope you have no reason to look after his kid.”
“As a matter fact, you should make a report to CPS that him and his wife Kate are not responsible parents who planned things appropriately and having tendency to dump their kids off randomly.”
“NTA” – Emotional_Wedge
Not today, Dan. Not today.
What do you think, reader? Did this dad go too far?