Being on time isn’t always easy.
Sometimes it feels like life is constantly setting up hurdles to make people tardy.
But a lot of the time, some people just don’t care about being late.
And that can be an issue.
Case in point…
Redditor PinDry258 wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback. So naturally, he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
He asked:
“AITA For tricking my parents into being on time for my wedding?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My (M[ale] 33) parents are late for everything.”
“Like everything. Both of my sister’s and myself have been disappointed so many times.”
“Graduation ceremonies, birthday parties, even my father’s retirement dinner.”
“It is completely my mother’s fault.”
“She is a wonderful mother and I love her dearly, she just does not understand the concept of punctuality.”
“I have seen her talking to her sister on the phone and reminded her she needed to be at my baby sister’s dance recital. “
“She waved me off and arrived after my sister had danced.”
“We are all used to it.”
“My dad is just done trying to get her to be on time for anything.”
“My now wife (F[emale] 28) told me in no uncertain terms that if my mother was late for our wedding she would do terrible things to me.”
“She was only half joking.”
“But she was a witness to my mom and dad arriving halfway through my cousin’s quinceañera.”
“So here is what I did. It is completely on me.”
“Me wife was not involved.”
“If there is a di*k move it was completely mine.”
“When we were getting samples for the wedding I talked to the printer and had one special invitation printed with the time on it stated it being one hour earlier than the actual start time of the ceremony.”
“My mother was beside herself apparently.”
“When they left the house and thought they were going to miss the wedding since she was a part of it, with her and my M[other] I[n] L[aw] lighting the candles we would use to light the unity candle and stuff.”
“When she arrived and noticed other people were also just arriving and parking she was so relieved that we were starting late that she just went with it.”
“The ceremony went off beautifully.”
“And so did the wedding pictures and the reception.”
“The problem came last Sunday.”
“My parents came over for a big family dinner and we didn’t bother starting the grill until they showed up.”
“She asked why everyone wasn’t eating and we just said we knew we would be waiting for them since they are always late.”
“She said that she was not always late and had been on time for my wedding.”
“She hadn’t been.”
“They arrived 45 minutes AFTER the time on their invitation.”
“My idiot cousin John, real name because it’s common and he deserves people to know he is a dolt, snorted at her statement.”
“A few other people giggled or smiled at this and she picked up and asked what was so funny.”
“I came clean and told her about the ‘special’ invitation.”
“She is pissed at me for not trusting her and making her look foolish in front of everyone.”
“If my cousin had just controlled himself she never would have known.”
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
Let’s hear some thoughts...
“NTA – How can she complain?”
“If you had sent her an invite with the real time then she would have been 45 minutes late.”
“She should appreciate the fact that you wanted her to be there enough that you took the time to make her a special invite to ensure she arrived on time.” ~ Forward_Squirrel8879
“This is the way.”
“In fact. Flip it on her.”
“Say the reason you did it it’s because you wanted her to be there for your wedding.”
“And you knew how sad she would be if she had missed it.”
“And you did all you could to ensure her happiness and yours in this very special day because you couldn’t bear the thought of the ceremony without her there.”
“And that now she has a very special unique invitation that nobody else has that is a testament of your love for her that you went to the length of having it specially made.”
“Just for her.”
“Emotionally manipulative? Of course.”
“Latino families thrive on this crap.”
“What a good son you were to know how much it meant to her to be there since the beginning to see her son getting married!”
“Bonus points if you pull her aside and say you also didn’t want the ‘others’ to comment on the mother of the groom being late and it reflecting negatively on her.”
“The neighbors can be so nosy and gossipy.”
“It would break your heart if people picked on her because of that.”
“Such a caring concerned son… she will smell the crap but it will probably give her a good laugh.” ~ ladylyrande
“The fact that it literally worked to perfection should be a wake up call to her!”
“Also, I am amazed at how oblivious she is to arrive 45 minutes late to her sons wedding and just thought it was starting late.”
“Maybe I would see her point if the plan hadn’t been such a slam dunk! NTA!” ~ acltear00
“NTA. She is embarrassed because she has a problem showing up on time and you proved it.” ~ vcatacarte
OP came back with a little more info…
“Part of the reason she is mad is because she had her invitation framed.”
“To be honest I was already planning a heist with my sisters to replace it with the real one in case she ever noticed the discrepancy between hers and the one we have framed in our home.”
“Yeah we are Latinos.”
“And no I do not in any way consider it racist how many of you guessed that.”
“I have been to Spain and it’s an issue there too.”
“And the Philippines. Basically anywhere those guys were in charge.”
“Also… Stop defending John.”
“He and I have spent thirty years messing with each other.”
“I have an AITA story that ends with me getting an offensive tattoo ($5,000 for removal) and him getting a body cavity search at the Mexican border.”
“I would post it but it happened like ten years ago.”
Reddit continued…
“Just keep repeating that she was 45 minutes late.”
“Flat out tell her that had you not lied to her, she would have missed your wedding and that not only will you never apologize for doing what you did.”
“YOU want an apology from her for being 45 minutes late in the first place. NTA.” ~ The__Riker__Maneuver
“NTA. Nicely played in my opinion.”
“Your mum should be ashamed of herself for being so self involved that she does not value anyone else.”
“If she tries to get huffy keep putting it back on her… this is a consequence of her behavior.”
“And she should be the thanking you for knowing her so well that you went the extra mile so,”
“She could be there on time.” ~ squirlysquirel
“NTA. You should show her this thread honestly.”
“I use to be notoriously late for everything… when i was 21.”
“My boyfriend now husband stopped one day and literally had to say.”
“I need you to respect me and acknowledge my time is also valuable as is the time of the people we are seeing.”
“I’m never late now.”
“I recognize that everyone’s time is valuable.”
“I can’t imagine your sister waiting backstage to go dance and not see her family in the audience.” ~ Kreeblim
“LOL NTA.”
“Ingenious solution to a problem you knew was headed your way.”
“The fact that she can be angry when she showed up 45 minutes late for what she thought was the starting time is pretty ridiculous.”
“It sounds as though she could use some therapy on why she is always late and how to improve it or risk ruining relationships.” ~ TempyIsMyName
“NTA your mom being late, especially when she has your dad to remind her of the time, is pure selfish nonsense.”
“Even if she had shown up early, she would have experienced what you do every time you invite her somewhere.”
“I’m also curious as to what your dad thought of the whole thing?” ~ ohbuddywhy
“NTA. Chronically late people rarely own up that their behavior boils down to selfishness.”
“Being systematically late without taking steps to correct that fault means that their time and energy are more valuable than yours.”
“You were kind enough to take into account that failing.”
“And rather than barring entry to latecomers during the ceremony, you did what you could to ensure she’d still be there.”
“She WAS almost an hour late!”
“She’s embarrassed herself.” ~ groggy_froggie
“She is pissed at you for not trusting her to arrive on time for a function that she believed she was 45 minutes late for?”
“Ask her how that makes any sense at all. NTA.” ~ turtlelife1
Well OP, Reddit seems to appreciate your sense of humor.
Sounds like your mom needed a serious wake up call.
Hopefully this changes things for the better.
Good luck with everything.