A teenager who was very self-conscious of her acne encountered an unusual problem she never saw coming.
When a classmate at a new school took issue with the teen’s appearance, the ensuing drama led her to the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit to seek judgment from strangers online.
There, Redditor Yeetoads asked:
“AITA for continuously triggering her trypophobia?”
Trypophobia is an anxiety disorder that causes those affected to be repulsed by a small cluster of holes, such as seedy fruits, sponges, or honeycombs.
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (19 F[female]) have had acne for so long that I honestly can’t remember my skin without it. I used to wear a lot of concealer to cover it up, but that only made things worse.”
“Eventually, I realized my skin was controlling my life (and draining my bank account 💀), so when I started at a new school, I decided to stop wearing makeup. My skin still isn’t great, but I’m on medication, so I have some hope that it will improve.”
The OP continued:
“Here’s the problem: There’s a girl in my class, let’s call her Callie (18 F[female]), who has trypophobia. I had no idea until we were put in a group together. The moment I spoke to her, she started crying.”
“Naturally, I asked what was wrong, and she screamed at me that my face was triggering her trypophobia. Her friends immediately jumped in to comfort her while I just sat there, confused, wondering if I was supposed to apologize for my skin, something I obviously didn’t choose to have.”
“When I tried to speak again, she told me to shut up and leave because I was ‘drawing attention to myself by talking.’ I asked what she expected me to do about it, and she said I could at least wear concealer.”
“I explained that it wasn’t an option because it’s expensive and just worsens my acne. Her friends glared at me and called me selfish.”
The OP wasn’t finished telling her story.
“That was just the first incident. Ever since, anytime I sit near Callie or have to present in front of the class, she starts dry heaving or crying (having a panic attack?).”
“It’s disrupting lessons so much that my teacher pulled me aside and asked if I could just wear concealer for the sake of keeping the peace. She admitted it wasn’t fair but said she couldn’t think of another solution.”
“I already feel like such a freak because of my skin. I know my skin is horrid, but why am I the one expected to cater to Callie?”
“I didn’t choose to have acne any more than she chose to have trypophobia. I can’t help but feel like I’m being unfairly treated here, but at the same time, I know she can’t control her reaction either.”
“So… AITA? Should I just wear the damn concealer?”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Many Redditors thought the OP was not the a**hole (NTA) here.
“If her mental health is fragile enough that she reacts this way because someone near her has skin that isn’t smooth enough, this is a situation where she should be seeking intensive therapy, not pushing you to accommodate her.”
“She can’t control the skin and makeup habits of every single person she might ever run into. Even if you cave, there will always be people who exist out in the world with skin that has pimples on it.”
“They are literally pressuring you to make your medical condition worse instead of her putting in the work to make hers better. Absolutely NTA, do not give in here.” – localdisastergay
“NTA. Report the teacher. I’m a teacher and I’d never ever consider saying something so f’king ridiculous. Report Callie for bullying and harassment because, let’s face it, that’s what this is now.”
“She wants you to make your skin worse and probably more painful so she’s at ease??? Fuck that. Tell her to stop staring. She’s 100% in charge of her behaviour and her reaction.”
“Time to step up and put an end to this.” – TopAd7154
“F’k that nonsense. You’re not responsible for this little drama queens performance.”
“The moment your teacher told you to wear makeup, you should walk yourself to the principal’s office and request to read the policy that says you have to wear makeup.”
“It’s an unfair request to you. It’s absurd your teacher thought you have to wear makeup to accommodate her ridiculous behaviour.”
“If that girl is disrupting lessons, she needs to be removed from the classroom.”
‘I know she can’t control her reaction’
“You sweet summer child, stop believing that foolishness.”
“NTA.” – BulbasaurRanch
“You’re being bullied by a b*tch and her friends.” – Dlraetz1
“Yeah, this sh*t is absolutely so wrong from them. I have phobias, you know what I do when I start to panic? Remove myself or have someone else remove me from the situation fast as hell, then politely apologize if I worried anyone and explain, when I am out of that situation and have calmed down, that I have a phobia of certain thing. Like a decent human.”
“Why the hell would you scream and insult another actual human being who is obviously already suffering on a daily basis themselves? That’s just plain awful, mean and humiliating.”
“This whole ‘wear concealer’ bs… That literally causes harm to OP which is absolutely unfair to OP and not to mention doesn’t even cover them properly. Why the hell hasn’t the teacher just moved them into separate classes?”
“Why doesn’t phobia girl put up a board next to where she sits so she can’t see. OP is already taking steps with medication, screaming rude b*tch and her flying rat pack can try take steps of their own that are productive.”
“I’m so sorry, OP.”
“EDIT: OP get a doctors note stating you cannot just ‘wear concealer’ as it will worsen the acne and is a health risk to YOU. That’ll shut these people up.” – jubangyeonghon
“Yeah, unless the girl can provide evidence of her trypophobia to the school, I’m calling bullsh*t. If she’s expecting the school and/or students to accommodate her condition, she needs to go through the proper channels of seeking such an accommodation.”
“It sounds like she’s using a claim of trypophobia to bully OP.” – yeahokaywhateverrrr
“Yeah if I were OP I would ask to switch classes myself even though it’s not fair. She seems to have friends that support her in her madness so even if they move her, her friends are still there and they are going to blame OP for their friend getting moved. Probably better to just start new in a different class if possible and leave the whole bunch of them to enjoy being stuck up together.”
“As a bonus, she would get a new teacher because expecting her to ‘just wear concealer’ is NOT okay. The teacher is taking the easiest way out to make everyone shut up about it and you can be sure when they gang up on her, this teacher won’t see a thing.” – Due-Reflection-1835
“Hate to say it, but unless the principal is ok with forcing everyone in the school to wear makeup, they are going to have to address Callie’s issues. Asking you to wear concealer might temporarily appease Cassie, until she finds a new target, but could cause permanent damage to your skin.”
“Unfortunately for Callie (if you are in the USA at least), trypophobia is not recognized as a mental disorder by the American Psychiatric Association. What she is doing could be considered disruptive and bullying.”
“Perhaps Callie needs to be removed from the classes you are in, unfortunately though, then Callie will only find someone else to be traumatized by.”
“NTA.”
“The principal needs to address the root of the problem, Cassie, slapping concealer on it is not a permanent solution.” – PleaseCoffeeMe
“NTA for simply existing.”
“The teacher can ensure you work in different groups. The teacher can seat Callie at the front of the class and you in any place you like, one or more rows back. Also, Callie can just… not look at you. Trypophobia is unpleasant, but that’s all the reasonable accommodation she gets, unless she wants to change classes.”
“I do think you need to advocate more strongly for yourself. This is not a ‘you’ problem. Do you think your teacher would ask a young man to wear concealer to appease Callie? I am certain she would not. It’s unreasonable to expect you to damage your skin to accommodate someone when she could simply look away.”
“Also for your consideration: you can’t possibly be the only person in your school that has serious acne. I doubt Cassie screams, wails and carries on when she sees them. It sounds more like you are being bullied. ‘Shut up and walk away because talking is drawing attention to yourself’ is nothing but bullying.”
“You might be TA if you suddenly decided to do all of your reports on honeycomb, lotus seed pods and sponges. With visual aids. While wearing Crocs. So, like, don’t do that.” – EastLeastCoast
Overall, Redditors were convinced this was a classic case of bullying. If Callie truly had a genuine phobia of hole clusters, Redditors still didn’t think her remarks toward the OP were necessary.
Hopefully, the teacher can arrange for them to be in separate class activities or different classes altogether if Callie has a serious issue about the OP’s acne.