No two people have the same relationship with their neighbors.
Some instantly become best friends, while others barely speak to one another, despite living only a few feet away, or even sharing a wall.
But even if one’s neighbors might not necessarily be one’s friends, everyone always wants to be on good, friendly terms with one’s neighbors.
Everyone except Redditor Few_Sea5102, that is, who went out of their way to let their new neighbors know how unwelcome they were in their community.
All owing to an issue with their house which the original poster (OP)’s new neighbors had nothing to. do with.
Wondering if they weren’t being fair, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for telling the new neighbors that they got what they paid for, including being shunned by the neighborhood?”
The OP explained how changes made to the house next to theirs had a negative effect on one of their great passions, and chose to take out their anger on their new neighbors.
“Where I live, real estate developers have started snatching up family homes, bulldozing them and building enormous 2 million dollar houses on the plots of land.”
“The houses also stick out horribly in terms of aesthetics.”
“Think single level brick homes with a 3-level gigantic white and black box in the middle.”
“My home’s been in my family for several generations.”
“We have always been known for having a large, beautiful garden.”
“We invited over kids to help with gardening, we gave away so many veggies, we’d hold parties, etc. It’s been a neighborhood treasure for years.”
“Until developers snatched up the lot next door, bulldozed and erected an enormous house that blocked out the light to most of the garden.”
“Many of us tried to fight it with the city but everything was denied.”
“It was heartbreaking.”
‘Our neighborhood has been changed forever.”
“This was a link to my family and I almost have had to go through a grieving process for it.”
“The new owners moved in and were not welcomed warmly by people in the neighborhood.”
“I avoided them for as long as I could, other than politely waving or nodding.”
“It was a young couple in their early 20s.”
“We finally came face to face and the woman asked if we could chat.”
“She said that they felt like maybe they’d done something wrong when they moved in, or if they aren’t pulling in their trash bins or something, being too loud, etc, because people haven’t been very friendly.”
“The guy says that he’s surprised considering it felt like a ‘nice’ and somewhat ‘affluent’ neighborhood, and given the price, he was expecting friendly neighbors.”
“I asked if they had done any research about the area.”
“They said that they moved from California, so no.:
“I said that maybe that was their mistake?”
“They said they didn’t know what I meant, so I asked if they’d ever looked in our backyard.”
“They said yes and said they think the garden is cute.”
“I said ‘Yes, the garden that now has about half less sunlight than before that house was built was a neighborhood treasure’.”
The guy said ‘well it’s not our fault you built the garden there, is it?’”
“I said ‘Well, you guys got what you paid for’.”
“‘2 million dollars for a house that everyone in the neighborhood hates’.”
“I said that I hoped it was worth it and wished them a nice day.”
“When I told another neighbor about the exchange, she told me that she does feel bad for them moving without having any idea what they were getting themselves into.”
“AITA for telling them that they got what they paid for?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The OP did received little to no support from the Reddit community for the way they treated their new neighbors, and was pretty much pretty much unanimously declared the a**hole.
Everyone agreed that the OP’s behavior was completely uncalled for, as the neighbor’s were not the ones responsible for the design of the house, not to mention being intentionally rude to others seldom, if ever, pays off.
“I live rural.”
“I have a horse.”
“So does my neighbor.”
“We see trees and pasture from our homes.”
“Two years ago some young couple bought a vacant parcel, plowed down all the trees and built a 5000 sq foot monstrosity complete with enormous gate and color changing lights all over the house.”
“It looks like a shopping mall.”
‘And it stares right into my horse arena and kitchen/dining and deck.”
‘I LOATHE that house.”
“It was only finished for about a year before those knuckleheads decided to sell it.”
“I was SO EXCITED and then I realized they weren’t taking the house with them.”
“I now have new neighbors and they are very nice.”
‘I have no clue why they bought the monstrosity they did.”
“It’s such a weird location for that kind of house.’
“And the wife is TERRIFIED of bears so she will hardly come out of her house.’
“But they are human beings and I plan to be cordial and neighborly.”
“Life is just too short to be an asshole to people simply because you’re pissed at some developer.”
“These people could be the ones who call 9-1-1 when they see smoke coming from your house or they could lend you freezer space when your chest freezer breaks or they could find your beloved cat after she escapes.”
“Every neighborhood has some bad neighbors and in this situation, that’s you, not them.”
“YTA, but you don’t have to be.”
‘You can fix this pretty easily.”
“Make a pie, or buy a small housewarming gift, and bring it to your neighbor.”
“Tell them, ‘You know, we fought against the builder who built your home, and it broke my heart when my garden lost its sunlight, but neither of those things are your fault’.”
“I should have been a better neighbor, and I’d like to fix that going forward’.”
“And then tell your other neighbors that the new neighbors are perfectly nice, and that you apologized for the way you treated them.”- gaygeekdad
“YTA you are mad at the situation and taking it out on the wrong people.”
“They didn’t explicitly chose to give your garden less sunlight, the previous owner of the land chose to maximize his profit.”- LuxSerafina
“They just bought a house.”
“Is your garden a big thing so well known it’s in papers?”
“That people could know about it without having talks with the neighbors before moving in?
“And specific talks.”
“And even then, they did not design the house.”
“Just bought it.”
“It is not their fault, and you are being angry at them as if it is.”- Parttime-Princess
“YTA I’ve seen a lot of NIMBY type folks on reddit but you take the cake today due to treating people like crap because they apparently stole your sunlight and you are big mad about it.”
“These people likely had no idea about your garden or what was there prior to the house they bought being there, its not their fault the house was built there.”
“You wanna be mad be mad at the real estate developers, that’s the actual bad guy here not the people who bought the house.”- JenWess
“All they did was buy the house.”
“They didn’t buy the land, tear down the old house, and laugh in your face as you tried to fight with the city over it.”
“They are not your enemy.”- jesters_privelage
“And so are your other neighbors.”
“How could these new neighbors, complete strangers, have possibly known about your family history or how much this garden meant to the other strangers they’ve never met?”
“Since apparently you don’t know, it’s not normal for someone to do extensive research into the deep history of the neighborhood they’re moving into, and the opinion of neighbors on the house they’re purchasing.”
“Then, when the new couple is just trying to be neighborly, and ask if they have done anything wrong, you give them a crappy, passive aggressive attitude instead of just being honest and telling them about your grievances with the new homes being built, and how it hurts something important to the community.”
“Congratulations, you’ve accomplished nothing at all except souring your relationship with a new couple who had done nothing wrong.”
“Even if they move out because of you and your neighbors blatant alienation, the house will still be in the way of your garden, so nothing will change.”- SleepingInNow
It’s understandable that the OP is frustrated by the fact that their garden isn’t what it used to be, owing to the house next door.
But had they been even the slightest bit more cordial with their new neighbors, there may have been a chance to come to a solution to fix it.
Instead, their relationship will likely never improve.
One only hopes the OP will never find themselves in a position where they need help from their next-door neighbors, as they’re unlikely to get it.