Workplace aggression has long been an issue ignored.
However in the last few decades isn’t been exposed.
Sometimes you have to take matters into your own hands.
Case in point…
Redditor throwaway93873839 to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for leaving my coworker to handle the morning rush alone after he accused me of getting period blood on the light switch?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“(17 F[emale]) work at a chain bakery popular in my city.”
“I work the closing shift after school and most nights with me and my other coworker who we will call Dan (30 something)”.
“I’m going to be frank, I do not like Dan, he is mean and condescending, he is constantly making fun of my looks, my manor of speech (english isn’t my first language) and my age.”
“I get annoyed by this incredibly quickly and working with him overall is very difficult.”
“Especially because he will consistently slack off during rush hours, and will consistently make orders wrong and then make me fix them and deal with the customers.”
“I haven’t said anything to my manager yet because I don’t wanna make any trouble.”
“Because I’m the youngest person that works there and I don’t think anyone would take my seriously.”
“But yesterday was the last straw.”
“I didn’t have school yesterday so I decided I would take an opening shift, and to my surprise Dan was also there.”
“I had closed up by myself the the day before and when I got there Dan asked if he could show me something.”
“He took my into the kitchen area and started demonstrating how to currently was your hands like how you would explain to a five year old.”
“I asked why he was showing me this and then he said it was because last night I had left my period blood on the light switch and when he came in today he saw it and thought it was disgusting.”
“So I asked him where is this supposed period blood and he showed it to me.”
“He said he hadn’t wiped it because he said it was gross. It was f**king jam.”
“It was the bright pink strawberry jam we use to fill donuts, and this idiot thought it was period blood.”
I” told him I was clocking out and that he could find someone else to cover my shift or do the morning rush alone.”
“I was so done with him.”
“He said that wasn’t fair and I said tough s**t.”
“So AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA. You absolutely must take this to management, though.” ~ SamiHami24
OP responded…
“Yeah, my manager is kinda an a** too.”
“I didn’t mention that in the post but he is like never there.”
“And another coworker of mine has complained about Dan before and he didn’t actually do anything.”
Reddit continued…
“There’s always Glass Door where you can tell this story in detail too.”
“And there are probably a few other sub Reddits you could post this on.”
“NTA. F**k that guy.” ~ Lex-tailonis
“Go above him. I’ve had a landlord blame me for dog poop in the hall, it was mud from someone’s shoe.”
“They didn’t last long after that because I wasn’t the only one they did this to.”
“ETA. NTA, but you may get in trouble.”
“You need to complain to your manager and anyone above him.” ~ Lucycrash
“True, OP might get in trouble for just walking out.”
“However, once the cause has been stated, it should be forgotten.”
“The thing to do in a case like that is clock out, call your manager, and say you are leaving because the 30 something man is sexually harassing you, an underage girl.”
“OP needs to call her manager A[s] S[oon] A[s] P[ossible] and say this.”
“If the manager doesn’t care, then it needs to go to HR or the district manager.”
“Depending what they have in the company.” ~ Pencils_
“Call corporate and keep talking to people until you get H[uman] R[ecources] or employee relations or whatever they call it there, corporate number is on Google.”
“Tell them everything you put in here.”
“Screw Dan, he’s an AH.”
“This is 100% harassment plus he’s making fun of your accent which is discrimination.”
“You’re over there speaking two languages and he has the nerve to make fun of you while he’s screwing up orders in his native language?” ~ gritty_rox
“And why even assume it was OP, is wiping down light switches usually part of the closing tasks for food service?”
“Him seeing jam in a bakery and deciding that it gives him a good excuse to harass and shame a teenage girl, for a totally unrelated bodily function she might have is literally just because he’s a grown adult misogynistic man, and there’s nothing grown misogynists love and get off on more than bullying teenage girls.”
“Especially if those teenage girls are doing better than them.”
“He did this to try and bring her down a peg.”
“Because much like white supremacists who claim ‘master race’ by virtue of being white to try and make up for the fact they’ve done nothing of worth with their lives.”
“Misogynists love to delude themselves into thinking they’re inherently superior to women (especially young women) just because they don’t have periods.”
“Or because men are just naturally better at X, because they’ve got nothing else going for them.” ~ appleandwatermelonn
“OP NTA. It’s so hard to learn to navigate this kind of stuff.”
“Someone prepares the schedule at your location.”
“Contact them – ideally via email or text.”
“‘Dan makes me feel unsafe.'”
“‘He is an adult male in his 30’s and I’m under 20, small female.'”
“‘I will not work dame shift w him as it compromises my safety.'”
“If they ask for examples – have a list of the incidents (especially this one) to give them.”
“If that is not feasible were it me or a young person I know I would say find HR at the corporate office (easy to find on internet).”
“If they try to bounce you back to franchisee (people who own your location) insist that corporate do that.”
“Fingers crossed the internet will notice this thread and a smart middle manager will reach out… name to company in public.”
“Scary and might mean you switch jobs.”
“But fighting for yourself is a skill that develops the more you do it.”
“We’re rooting for you.” ~ No_Appointment_7232
“Usually there are district managers.”
“You should be able to find info in your break-room at work.”
“Typically at my jobs over the years, that’s where they hang up all of the info related to whistleblowing, etc.”
“100% NTA. That guy is either dumb, or a misogynist. Or both.” ~ disgruntleddi
“So, Dan is actually sexually harassing you, and mocking your speech.”
“These are very serious things.”
“This is what you should do.”
“I know you said your manager is an a**, but you need to still follow the chain of command.”
“Get his work email address, and then get a Human Resources email address.”
“Go home, make a list of everything Dan has said or done to you.”
“Write an email to your boss and copy HR.”
“Say something like, (Insert manager name here) I am writing today to bring to your attention the harassment, some of it sexual in nature by Dan.”
“The list everything there.”
“Request a meeting with your manager AND a HR representative to go over the things you’ve been through.”
“By doing this via email there’s a paper trail.”
“Now if nothing is done, you can show you’ve attempted to remedy the situations.”
“I guarantee you they will have a sit down.”
“You do NOT have to put up with this.” ~ sylance9
“Everything she described is just terrible.”
“She could probably sue the crap out of this place if manager doesn’t do anything about it and it continues.”
“Just awful I feel bad for her.”
“I once went through having to work in a toxic work environment and was actually relieved when they terminated ME for ‘being the problem.'”
“I had saved every email and communication so as soon as they terminated me I hit them with wrongful termination and retaliation.”
“They ended up settling with me out of court but I got them and it felt good to shove it up their collective a**es.” ~ sylance9
“NTA. And I would take it up with your manager because this is harassment.”
“Dude is an adult who works in a bakery and doesn’t know what jam is… maybe he needs re training.”
“Also why would he assume you’re on your period, weird judgement to make.” ~ Horror_Ad_5863
“He knows it’s not blood, he put it there himself with the intent to sexually harass OP.”
“OP you need to text or write a letter to the manager explaining all of this.”
“If he ignores you, talk to the labor board.”
“You will win, but get it in writing.”
“I would also text Dan recounting the episode so you have proof of this also when going to the labor board.” ~ leopard_eater
OP… you are in a rough situation.
Not only is Reddit behind you, but people are worried for you.
Protect yourself.
Good luck.