Taking time off from work is a challenge when coworkers’ schedules might be affected.
This is why there are protocols in place at many workplaces to ensure shifts are always covered, but with some exceptions in case of emergencies.
Inevitably, however, someone always gets the short end of the stick.
A Redditor fumed after agreeing to cover for a coworker, and her actions brought her to the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit to seek judgment from strangers online.
There, Redditor TinyDevice3481 asked:
“AITA for refusing to cover for my coworker after finding out why she needed time off?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“So at my job, we’re supposed to request time off at least two weeks in advance unless it’s an emergency.”
“My coworker Sarah (30? F[female]) asked me last week if I could cover for her on Friday. She said it was really important, so I agreed, assuming it was a family thing or something serious.”
The OP continued:
“Well, today I found out through another coworker that Sarah’s ’emergency’ is that she got tickets to a concert last minute and didn’t want to lose her spot. I was pissed.”
“I went back to her and told her I wasn’t covering for her anymore since she straight-up lied. She got really upset and said she had to lie or else no one would cover for her. I told her that’s not my problem and she should just be honest next time.”
“Now she’s telling everyone I screwed her over, and some people at work are saying I overreacted because ‘it’s not that deep’ and I had already agreed. But I feel like she lied to me and that’s not fair. AITA?”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Many Redditors didn’t look upon the OP favorably.
“YTA.”
“I wouldn’t even call that a lie. She didn’t say it was an emergency, let alone a family emergency, she said it was important. To her, it was.”
“Plus, what’s wrong with covering her shift so she can go to a concert she finds important? I truly don’t see why you’re so incensed over it.”
“Is an U.S. culture thing? It’s a genuine question; I’m not trying to be rude. People taking time off for recreation is important and completely normal in most parts of the world, but I’ve heard bad things about American work culture…” – Mmm_hummus
“It’s only common with boomers who want to grouse about these young people and their lack of work ethics.”
“YTA- She got tickets to a concert she really wanted to see. Maybe it’s her favorite band, maybe she’s been wanting to see them for years, maybe they’re about to retire and she wants to see them before it’s too late. Or maybe she got a spontaneous chance at something she really wanted and she asked you to take the shift to help her out.”
“She asked, you agreed to take the shift. You already agreed and planned on going so I really don’t know why the reason is a deciding factor.”
“Now, if she lied and said it was a funeral or something and it turned out to actually be a concert, then I could see the righteous indignation reaction, but you never actually asked any details; you just assumed it was one of the things you’d consider worthy of missing a shift for.”
“If it is such a huge thing for you why not ask her to take one of your shifts in the next couple weeks and you actually take some time to have fun and blow off some steam.”
“By your reaction to someone simply wanting to have fun and do something that brings them joy Id say you could really use it.” – acegirl1985
“YTA. It’s not even your business why she needs coverage. These types of jobs are hard as it is, and you get paid in the end. Don’t begrudge someone for having a little fun in life. Now, when you need someone because of a real emergency, do you think people are going to line up to help you? “ – incospicuous_echoes
“Sadly, you are THAT coworker. The one who thinks they’re the guardian of the employee handbook and insist on showing everyone what a good little brown noser you are. First of all, the 2-week rule is for requesting time off from the company. That’s not what happened here.”
“She asked you to cover her shift so she could do something important to her. Big difference. You’re the one who assumed the only reason she was asking outside that magic 2-week window was some sort of emergency. She never said that.”
“Why was her reason so important to you? You said you’d help, and then you broke your word because it makes you feel self-righteous. I’m thankful I don’t work with you. Some people do have lives outside of work. Some of us even enjoy activities and aren’t always able to know a full 2 weeks in advance when we’ll have the chance to do something really fun.”
“It sounds like you felt like some sort of savior by agreeing to help out in an emergency, but as soon as it wasn’t some noble gesture on your part, you bailed on her.”
“You’re not doing yourself any favors here, and better not expect any favors from your coworkers after this little stunt. At least you have your self-righteousness intact. Hope it keeps you company when you become a pariah at work. YTA. Big old time.” – forgetregret1day
“YTA. It wasn’t an emergency but it was important to her.”
“But okay, I get being annoyed because you feel deceived. But – what’s the difference? Would you have said no if you’d known that it was a concert? If so, why? Don’t people deserve joy?”
“Like, the outcome is the same regardless of her reason: you covered her shift, and she got to do the thing she wanted to do.”
“The only thing that getting pissed will accomplish is to make sure that she’ll never cover for you now.” – MizAnthropy_
“YTA.”
“In any case the reason someone takes time off is irrelevant. Either you can cover the shift or not. You had already agreed, which means you were able to. I don’t see why the reason she’s taking time off will affect your ability to cover the shift. Also, she didn’t lie. She said it was important which to her it was.” – Significant-Chair-71
“YTA – bait and switch. I had a manager who was exactly like you once. When he took over, he would actively deny approval to two people who mutually agreed to swap shifts, usually for sh**ty reasons. I fought it once and had another manager overrule it.”
“Then some time later, I had another agreed swap with a coworker that needed approval, and while it was pending he actually messaged her to ask ‘did i_like_it_eilat ask you to swap shifts, or did you ask him’, she said I did, but she needed it, so he responded saying ‘okay, I’ll approve it to help you more than him’ – I had her screenshot that for me and I sent it straight to HR.”
“You sound EXACTLY like this loser.” – i_like_it_eilat
“YTA. She never lied. You assumed. She correctly said it was something important to her. You incorrectly assumed that meant a family thing or something important. (This concert sounds important to her). Just because you don’t consider it important doesn’t mean it’s not.”
“By all means, don’t cover for her, but only if you want to guarantee no one will ever cover for you. I promise that none of your coworkers will be willing to help you when you need it because you don’t help others when they need it. It’s not your place to decide what is a good enough reason. All you need to decide is if you’re able and willing to cover the shift.”
“This will burn bridges with all of your coworkers, not just one. You’ll be the person that new hires are cautioned against. ‘Don’t trust OP. S/he’ll say s/he’ll cover your shift and then change his/her mind. Don’t cover for OP either because you can’t trust him/her to reciprocate.’ “ – ApprehensiveBook4214
“Yta.”
“You said you assumed it was a family thing. If she didn’t say it was a family thing, she didn’t lie. You said she said it was important. It is important to her.”
“If you have stipulations on the reasons for covering for someone, did you tell her up front? You really aren’t entitled to know the reason someone wants a cover unless you stipulate that first. You either agree to cover, or you don’t. It seems rather judgey of you.” – groovymama98
Based on what the OP wrote, many Redditors thought they assumed it was a family emergency, even though it wasn’t.
Redditors also thought the reason why the coworker was taking time off was still something very important, and to have the OP punish her for it was a very a**hole move.