Some places in the United States are absolutely impossible to navigate without a vehicle. Public transit is spotty, infrastructure is stuck in the mid-20th century, and if you don’t have your own autonomous vehicle, you’re out of luck. You may have to rely on others for rides.
So Redditor chickandduck02 has been learning the hard way, as they don’t have a car. After their dad kept getting on their case about having a car, they lost their patience and told their dad flat out to stop unless their father intended to change the situation.
After blowback from dad, they went to the popular subReddit “Am I The A**hole?” or “AITA” for objective feedback from strangers.
“AITA for telling my dad that if he’s not buying me a car to shut up about whether I have a car or not?”
Our original poster, or OP, lives by themselves and unfortunately had their car stolen.
“Okay so I’m 28, I don’t live with my dad and I DID have a car that I purchased, then it was stolen from in front of my house.”
“It was a whole headache and insurance paid me out for it, but my rates also increased. They found the car beat to hell.”
“Well that was a few years ago, I live in a big city so I take ride shares most places.”
OP’s dad is absolutely fixated on this fact.
“My dad for some reason is OBSESSED with the fact that I don’t have a car. ‘I can’t do fun things like roadtrips with friends’ (something I have ZERO interest in).”
“Whenever I see him (which isn’t often because he lives out of town and we don’t get along) he brings up ‘why don’t you get a car? You have a decent job.'”
“This is a regular thing and he acts like I need to explain my choices and finances to him.”
But a car doesn’t make sense with OP’s situation.
“It’s not that I CAN’T it’s that I don’t want to. He’s just thinking of the price of the car but I’d have to pay insurance, parking, maintenance, and registration.”
“Which I can afford but what’s the difference if I’m paying that or taking a Uber? Uber is cheaper for me for right now. I’ve explained this to him but ‘everyone needs a car, its weird not to have one.'”
“Last time he brought it up (he was in town last weekend) ‘why don’t you have a car yet? You need to just buy a car.'”
“I snapped and said ‘oh are you buying me one? No then shut up about it I’m sick of hearing it, it’s not affecting my decision and it’s annoying.’ He said I didn’t need to be so rude about it.”
So now OP is wondering if they are at fault for snapping.
“He moved 4 hours away and it’s someplace that doesn’t make sense to fly to but they don’t have trains etc the only way to get there is by car.”
“Pretty sure he thinks me not having a car is the reason that I don’t visit, but I don’t visit because we don’t get along and if I’m taking a vacation I want it to be fun.”
“AITA for snapping after being nagged for years?”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Redditors overwhelmingly agreed with OP.
“We lived in the Midwest for a while and used to get honked at for walking on the road sometimes.”
“Cut to me moving to NYC, hubby to Chicago. When I told him initially he should just sell his car, his words were – and I quote – ask me to cut off my legs, why don’t you.”
“Well, 1 month into Chicago, he realized he’d financed some AAA guy’s kid’s education, he called for a jump start so often.”
“Needless to say, by the time he moved to NYC, he’d sold the car within the week he moved there. And that was 15 years ago, no car since (and even when we move to EU, even less reason!!!)”
“OP – you’re absolutely right that it’s not just about the monthly payment or base cost of a car – there’s a cost to owning, which nearly doubles the monthly payments depending where you are. So – thanks but no thanks!!”~KeepLkngForIntllgnce
“I lived in New Jersey and worked in Manhattan. Took the PATH to work and didn’t have a car the entire time I lived there. I didn’t miss out.”
“The few times I needed a car, I rented. Not a big deal.”
“I’ve heard that the cost of rentals have increased quite a bit due to current events, but still cheaper than owning if you don’t use a car regularly. NTA”~FourteenPancakes
“NTA – I agree that it sounds like your dad wants you to come visit him.”
“But I think you might need to break it down Sesame Street style for him and explain that you can rent a car to visit him.
“However, you two need to work on your relationship before you spend the money to visit.”~ActofEncouragement
“NTA Your father is a prime example of ‘play stupid games, win stupid prizes.'”