It’s not an understatement that women have it much harder than men in just about everything.
Particularly when it comes to their bodies.
As men will never experience some of the unpleasant, often painful, things many women have to endure, up to and including childbirth and their periods.
The monthly arrival of the periods of Redditor Comfortable_Plum2347 were becoming even more of a nuisance.
Owing, somewhat bizarrely, to her family’s dog.
If there was anyone more annoyed by this than the original poster (OP), it was her father, who demanded changes needed to be made.
The OP was anything but comfortable with these demanded changes, however, and wasn’t afraid to speak up to her father and tell him so.
Wondering if she was out of line, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for telling my dad he doesn’t get to talk about my period?”
The OP explained why she was less than willing to give in to her father’s demands centering around her body.
“I (16 F[emale]) have made it really awkward to be around my dad (46 M[ale]) and have probably ruined my relationship with him.”
“I’m currently on my period and only use pads because tampons make me uncomfortable.”
“In January, my family got a dog.”
“I’m not really a fan of dogs, but I tolerate her.”
“When I replace a pad, I wrap it up in toilet paper or wrap it in the wrapper of the new pad and seal it closed with the little tape still on the wrapper.”
“This has never been a problem until we got a dog.”
“She likes going into the bathroom and taking my used pads out of the trash and ripping them apart.”
“For the last couple of months, I’ve had to chase her around the house and clean up ripped-apart pads, but it’s never really bothered the rest of my family as long as I’m the one cleaning them up.”
“Today, the dog got to a pad I had thrown away earlier this morning.”
“I caught her and threw the pad back in the trash and closed the bathroom door so she couldn’t get to the trash again.”
“While I was in my bedroom, my dad confronted me about it.”
“He told me that the dog kept getting my pads out of the trash and that it was a problem.”
“I was confused and asked him what he wanted me to do about it since the only way to dispose of a pad is to throw it away.”
“He told me that he wanted me to ‘grow the f*ck up and start using tampons’.”
“I was horrified.”
“I told him that I wasn’t comfortable with tampons and that he didn’t get to talk to me about my period.”
“He asked why not. I was speechless and had no idea what to say and just started crying from the embarrassment and shock and shut my bedroom door.”
“My mom (47 F) is currently in Florida visiting family, but she was my last resort.”
“I’ll copy and paste the exact message I sent her:”
“’Tell Dad to stay in his own f*cking lane and leave me alone because he just told me I “had to grow up and start using tampons” so that the dog would stop eating my pads.'”
“‘He doesn’t get to say that to me. It’s not fair.”
“‘I can’t help that my uterus sheds every month and I go through almost unbearable pain, and his only remark is that I have to grow up and use something I’m not comfortable with.’”
“I know it sounds a bit bratty, but I was crying my eyes out and had no idea what to say.”
“She’s furious with him.”
“She texted back saying it was inappropriate that he said that to me and that it was a total d*ck move on his part and it wouldn’t happen again.”
“I have no idea what she texted him, but I haven’t seen or talked to him since.”
“I think he’s probably mad at me for bringing my mom into this, and I don’t know how to confront him.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for talking back to her father and refusing to give in to his demands.
Everyone agreed that the OP’s father was way out of line, as he had no right to make any decisions regarding his daughter’s body, with many others pointing out that making the OP use tampons was in no way more logical than her using pads.
“First of all, NTA.”
“But more relevant: YOU CAN’T FLUSH TAMPONS!”
“If you used tampons, the dog would probably still go in the garbage for them.”
“So what’s the difference.”
“If he expects you to flush tampons, he should expect to pay thousands in plumbing bills.”
“But you should make an effort to keep the door closed.”
“Talk to your mom about maybe getting a garbage can that locks.”
“Not because your dad’s behavior is in any way, okay, but you wouldn’t be expected to chase the dog with your pads if they can’t get to them.”- Usrname52
“What the f*ck is your Dad’s problem?”
“I’m a man with no knowledge of this stuff, but why on earth would switching to tampons change this.”
“I’d tell your Dad to grow up and teach his dog not to go through the trash.”
“Maybe speak to your Mom (since your Dad sounds super unreasonable) about buying a new bathroom garbage that would be harder for the dog to get into.”- hectoByte
“I’m a woman in my 40’s, and I still use pads.”
“If I ‘grow up’ anymore I’ll be legit dead.”
“My son’s girlfriend put a pad in the trash, and I got up one morning, and the dog had gotten it out.”
“You know what I did?”
“Threw it out before she noticed and got a goddamned trash bin with a lid for that bathroom.”
“You know what I didn’t do?”
“Blame a young person because I didn’t think ahead and do that in the first place.”- plastic_venus
“NTA: First off, tampons are disposed of the same way pads are.”
“One should never flush a tampon.”
“Second: Put the trash can under the sink if it has doors so the dog can’t get in the trash.”
“Third: Your father is a complete ah if he’s never talked to you about your body and what’s happening with it but now decides he can have a blunt conversation with you because he’s inconvenienced.”
“It is healthy for female and male parents and children to be able to talk about these things but it should always be done with kindness and respect, and the minute the child seems uncomfortable, the parent should back the hell up.”- debdnow
“Is your Dad aware that tampons also go in the bin?”
“I’m so sorry you have to deal with that. His dog needs intervention.”- Several_Jellyfish_27
“My childhood dog did this.”
“We replaced all the bathroom trash cans with ones with lids.”
“It’s really that easy.”
“Your dad was being a major d*ck.”- andromache97
“Your body, your choice.”
“I don’t care WHY you don’t want to use tampons; you don’t have to.”
“Tell him I said he should ‘grow up and buy a trashcan with a lid.'”
“Although I suspect your mother already told him many things.”
“If this ruins your relationship with your dad, that is on HIM.”
“End of story.”- MrsVashalgrim
The OP later returned to thank everyone who took the time to comment, as well as share what her plans were going forward.
“Thank you all so much for your advice and for being so understanding in the comments.”
“I’ve scrolled through quite a bit, and a lot of people are asking how using tampons would fix the situation and why using tampons is a sign of me ‘growing up’.”
“Both my mom and twin sister use tampons and flush them.”
“I’m the only one in the house that currently uses pads as my 8-year-old sister obviously doesn’t have a period yet.”
“He thinks that flushing tampons down the toilet is normal and that I just need to grow up and start using tampons like my twin.”
“I told my mom that I caved and posted on Reddit and that everyone suggested getting a trash bin with a lid, and she agreed.”
“When she returns from Florida tomorrow, we’ll get a bin with a lid.”
“The only reason my dad isn’t buying the trash bin today and solving the problem quicker is because my mom doesn’t want him to get an ugly one lmao.”
It seems sadly clear that the OP’s father has a fundamental misunderstanding of both female anatomy, as well as plumbing.
What’s more worrisome is that he got angry at his daughter for using things she literally needs, rather than the dog, for going through the garbage.
One can only hope that once a (cute) trash bin with a lock is purchased, he’ll have time to stop and reflect on his behavior toward the OP.