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Dad-To-Be Scolded By MIL For Nixing Pregnant Wife’s ‘Uncommon’ Baby Name Suggestions

parents holding baby sonogram
Abraham Gonzalez Fernandez/Getty Images

Redditor AvailableRadish8796 is an expectant father of a little boy.

The Original Poster (OP) and his wife do not agree on baby names.

This disagreement is starting to fester as the baby’s due date is rapidly approaching.

The OP also recently got scolded by his mother-in-law about not going with his wife’s suggestion despite the fact that she is the one physically carrying the child.

This drove the OP to subReddit “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA).

He asked:

“AITA for saying no to most of my wife’s baby name suggestions?”

He went on to explain:

“My wife and I are expecting a son together. We do not agree on names for the most part. She likes more uncommon and/or unusual names.”

“Her name is Trixie and has always gravitated to names that feel ‘different’ like she said her own name was/is.”

“She does not like common names. Whereas I do like more common names. Doesn’t have to be James or Elizabeth common.”

“But I prefer classic, timeless names that you know and are familiar with. I’m not into the trendy names.”

“Aidan is a name I struggle with because the names aidan/ayden names have become so overwhelming but the original is a classic name with its own history and longstanding uses.”

“We’re having a boy and most of the names we have rejected from each other.”

“Matteo is the only name she was okay with from me and Hawthorn and Dexter are the two from hers that I said maybe to.”

“But we’re still not there yet with a name. And we have talked baby names a lot and made a lot of suggestions.”

“We really struggle to like each other’s names and as you see, the okay names aren’t so frequent either.”

“My MIL spent the weekend with my wife a couple of weeks ago. She asked if we had a name and my wife told her not yet, because we couldn’t agree.”

“MIL asked me why I’m saying no to most of my wife’s names when she’s carrying the baby.”

“My own mom told me I should be giving her more say in the name as the person who is putting her body through pregnancy to give us our son.”

“When we didn’t have a name to announce since then, I got a call from MIL saying I should be doing better and not making this more stressful.”

“We were also told recently that we’re running out of time before baby gets here and should probably try to have a small list at least before he’s born so we’re not at square one with no ideas.”

“My wife and I have been getting a little frustrated with each other too. When that does happen we take a break from the name talk.”

“I told my parents and they suggested I shouldn’t be saying no to so many of her names. I feel like sh*t will hit the fan with my MIL soon if I keep saying no to my wife’s names.”


Redditors weighed in by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors decided:

“‘We were also told recently that we’re running out of time before baby gets here and should probably try to have a small list at least before he’s born so we’re not at square one with no ideas.'”

“Running out of time? Some parents don’t even have a name when the child is born…or have a name, see and hold the baby and disregard their choice.”

“Also, I’m fairly certain I’ve heard that in India, Iceland, Greece, parents do not announce the name/name the child immediately.”

“You may not be any of those nationalities, but your mothers need to cool it.”

“Also, for that short list? Hasn’t your wife only accepted one of your names, while you have accepted two of hers? The Moms need to butt out.”

“You and your wife need to take a break from the discussion.”

“Please relax. You will figure it out. I’ve yet to hear of a new parent running screaming into the streets because they are unable to name a child.” – MoBirdsMoProblems

“Okay, you need to stop talking to either of your mothers about this as their opinion that the woman has more right to name the baby is absolutely ludicrous.”

“So f*cking wrong. What a truly absurd argument. It’s not like you chose not to be the one pregnant.”

“Your MIL needs to but out, as her opinion is poisoning this process for you both.”

“It’s a ‘2 yes; 1 no’ situation. Many parents struggle with selecting a name, it’s totally normal.”

“Neither of you should settle for a name you don’t like to appease the other person, regardless who is pregnant or not.”

“NAH” – BulbasaurRanch

“Why are both mothers in the mix, you guys teen parents?”

“You will disagree about around 7 gazillion things when it comes to parenting, so you both need to learn to not go to mom with that.”

“We will decide when he’s born is a fair answer to give everyone else and it is a lot easier after.”

“Only 1 of my 3 kids have the decided name, the 2 others simply didn’t fit the names decided.” – Weekly-Act-3132


“Each of you come up with a list of 10 names you love. Then trade lists. You get to pick the top five names from her list that are your favorites and she gets to pick the top five names from your list.”

“Then come back together and talk. That gets you a list of ten names.”

“Can those ten names be worked together into five first and last combinations so that your son has one classic and one trendy name?”

“That way if he decides he likes one name better when he’s older, he has options.”

“James Dexter Miller (nice name)”

“Dexter James Miller (nice name)”

“You get the idea.”

“Then if you look at the five choices, looking at your first/middle combos, not knowing whose name will be first, and whose will be the middle name, see if you can settle on a combo you both like.”

“Then flip a coin to see whose name will be the first name and whose will be the middle name.”

“Obviously it would be better if you can just agree on a name. But this is one idea. Neither of your mothers gets a vote. Not their baby.” – dragonsandvamps

“NTA, neither is your wife. MIL and your mom are.”

“I don’t get why you’re the only one being called out here.”

“Your wife is also saying no to most of your names as well so this is clearly an issue on both ends if anyone should take fault…”

“…(though I really think your moms should mind their own business and not get involved.)”

“Her having the baby does not give her more of a say. This is a 50:50 decision between both parents.” – [deleted]

“NAH. It sounds like you guys have a short list of 3 names you’ve both ‘said yes’ to, so I don’t really see the issue. You’re clearly working through this.”

“Just stay communicative with your wife. Maybe have test weeks with each name where you guys refer to baby with the name to see which one feels right.” – notevenwitty

“YTA-Is the baby getting your last name? If they did you already gave a name to them. If you’re going into this having issues with Aiden-an old classic name-you’re probably just being too picky.”

“It doesn’t sound like she picked Moonbeam or Koala as options. There’s a name app that’s basically tinder for names I suggest you guys give it a try.”

“And ask yourself if her names are truly terrible or if you just want to feel like you have more say than her.” – Skyward93


“However, your parents seem to be siding with your wife. When your own parents side with your partner, it can be worth considering.”

“We don’t have enough information to make any value calls, but I think it’s good that you are reflecting on that.” – Appropriate_Buyer401

“NTA. The baby naming is between you and wife, everyone else needs to stay out of it.”

“This is exactly why my sister and her husband were adamant they would not talk to others about baby names until the baby was born and named already.”

“Naming a baby can be a challenge, especially when the two of you have different preferences. That doesn’t mean you won’t come up with something you both like.”

“I’m sure there is a timeless yet interesting sounding name out there waiting for you to stumble on. r/namenerds might be helpful if you haven’t ventured over there yet.” – Stranger0nReddit

As long as you are both being respectful and not yelling like petty children or being rude, NTA. You have just as much say in the name as her.”

“I say this as a person currently pregnant with baby number 4.”

“My husband would basically allow me to pick the name if I wanted to (we do have the same naming style though) but I insist he has an equal say.” – Dear_Coffee8022

Juliet’s line clearly wouldn’t apply to this set of parents.

Written by B. Miller

B. is a creative multihyphenate who enjoys the power and versatility of the written word. She enjoys hiking, great food and drinks, traveling, and vulnerable conversation. Raised below the Mason Dixon, thriving above it. (she/her)