Parents have different ways of calming their kids when they experience vulnerable moments.
But one parent was harshly criticized by his sister who was more concerned about what others might think.
Redditor oddsituation111 is a 24-year-old single father who has a deeply affectionate son.
When he was confronted by his sister about something she thought was inappropriate, he visited the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit and asked:
“AITA for telling my sister to stop being perv and keep thoughts to herself?”
The Original Poster (OP) wrote:
“I got a 4 year old son Jackson, my ex girlfriend hasn’t been around since he was over 2 so it’s only me n him.”
“He super affectionate with everyone, he gives me like a million hugs and kisses everyday lol.”
“Sometimes at night he comes to my room because he’s scared or just misses me and I let him sleep with me. He doesn’t do it a lot usually when he has a bad dream.”
“But we just moved to another apartment this month and he’s still scared of sleeping alone in his new room even with his night light on. Most nights he comes to my room to sleep.”
“My sister came over on Friday so kids could have a movie night. It got late so they slept on the couch.”
“I put Jackson in his room then went to bed. He woke me up in the night to ask if he could sleep in my bed so I lifted the covers and let him sleep there.”
“In morning my sister came to my room ask if I wanted to order breakfast for the kids. Then she saw Jackson sleeping with me.”
“She didn’t say nothing but when I was in the kitchen she told me that was really ‘inappropriate.’”
“I ask what was and she said that Jackson was sleeping with me in my bed. And I ‘need to be careful’ because people will get the wrong idea.”
“Then with me always hugging him and letting him give me kisses on the cheek. Seriously wtf. I asked her what’s wrong with it and to her it didn’t seem right that I’m his dad, not his mom so it’s weird.”
“Like even her husband doesn’t do that with their son. She also pointed out our dad wasn’t like that either with me (kinda why I’m tryna be different with my son).”
“To me it just sounded crazy. It just bothered me a lot that her mind would even go there over my son literally just sleeping in my room because he’s 4 years old and scared of the dark.”
“I called her out an said stop bein a f’king pervert just because her husband acts different with their kids and mind her business nxt time.”
“She got quiet after and we didn’t talk. Later she did text me some sh*t that she’s sorry for looking out for us and expressing what she felt was not appropriate or something like that.”
“Idk why she went to my mom about it because now she thinks I shouldn’t call my sister stuff like that when she just felt it’s weird I’m affectionate with my son like that, then the letting him sleep with me.”
“My sister feels I should apologize for snapping and calling her that but I don’t see why I’d need to. AITA?”
Strangers on the internet were asked to declare one of the following:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Redditors saw no problem with the OP for comforting his kid by letting him sleep with him.
“NTA, unquestionably. You are the only parent in your son’s life, and your sister expects you to deprive him of affection because… you’re a man? Ridiculous. She can kick rocks.” – hafufrog
“Exactly! also, even if the boy did have a mom, there is nothing wrong with father-son affection. in fact it is good and healthy.”
“super weird that his sister associates it with something gross.” – lil-stawberry
“Exactly the kid has to get affection from someone or he will grow up to be a cold person. Unfortunately if you’re the only parent he’s got you’re the mom now too.”
“Of course it’s natural for a kid to want to sleep in his parents bed. He’s subconsciously looking for protection. The fact that he feels protected by you is a win in my book.”
“She took it to a weird place and that is not your problem. NTA.” – Reaper0207
“I find it fascinating that instead of her going ‘hm, my husband doesn’t show this much affection to my kids, I wonder if there’s a problem there’, she thought you were inappropriate?”
“And why would it be ok if you were the mother? She should know that mothers can be ‘abusive and inappropriate’ too, it’s not a men thing. I find it sad that she reacted this way. You’re doing great and your son will grow up knowing that you love him. NTA.” – Azizass
“NTA She’s sexualising your relationship with your son, and she needed to be told to mind her own business.”
“So what that your 4yr old son climbs into and occasionally sleeps in your bed, it’s his safe zone and so what if he kisses you and hugs you a lot, that’s what little kids do.”
“She needs to accept that no two kids are the same and also needs to remember that he only has one parent not two.” – G8RTOAD
“You are right to be pissed, I would to. Don’t apologize, she should feel bad. You’re being a good father for your son.”
“I’m thankful everyday that my father and I’s dynamic was similar to you and your sons (I too got scared a lot as a kid and my dad would always welcome me to sleep or cuddle next to him). Based on your post, your son is really lucky to have a dad like you.” – Lucario1209
The OP then described his own relationship with his father.
“Yeah my dad and I aren’t close so wanted it to be different with mine even more since his moms not around.”
Redditors continued supporting the OP for being a loving parent.
“Nta. You sound like a great dad. You’re doing awesome. Don’t let her drag you down. My husband and every other father is at risk of this kind of thinking.”
“I love seeing my husband give my children affection. Physical affection from a parent is so important, I’m so mad for you. She has no right. As much as I’d want to scream at her too, you might want to sit down with her, apologize for calling her a pervert (even if you kinda believe it, because that kind of actuation can be upsetting) and tell her that she needs to reevaluate her beliefs.”
“What does she think you should do? Ignore him? Tell your 4yo son, sorry sweetie I can’t cuddle you, help you feel safe after a nightmare, or give you kisses because people like your aunt will think its sexual? No.”
“Without being argumentative, or raising your voice, you need to make it clear that she is wrong and needs to reevaluate.”
“I feel bad for her children. Do they never get physical affection from their father? That’s so sad.”
“But again, you’re doing great. Great job.” – Crilbyte
“My dad never hugged my brothers. He would shake their hand! It’s taken years for my fucked up brothers to learn to take a hug from me, well into adulthood.”
“My younger brother has two boys he’s been able to be physical with and it’s really lovely. His sons are growing up affectionate and caring. You’re absolutely in the right here and good for you for being so loving in difficult circumstances. NTA.” – HistoryOfViolets_
Hopefully, the OP and his sister could sit down and have a heart-to-heart discussion so she understands her sexist views on parenting do not apply in this situation.