If there’s one constant in this world that always seems to be reliably dramatic, it would be the tense relationship between a married woman and her mother-in-law.
When you factor a new baby into the mix, the opportunities for that tension to escalate can grow exponentially.
But if a husband steps in to take sides rather than act as a peacekeeper, when do his actions cross a line?
Redditor and new dad ImportantBox4483 recently sparked some drama with his mom, so he turned to the subReddit “Am I the A**hole” to see if he was in the wrong.
He asked:
“AITA for showing my wife an embarrassing video of my mom?”
The original poster (OP) started off by explaining his mom’s strained relationship with his wife.
“My mom can be kind of b*tchy to my wife. I don’t tolerate it, and we are working on boundaries, but right now it is a work in progress.”
After meeting his new son, the OP’s mom had a little mishap while helping out.
“I have a beautiful three-month-old son, who my mom met a month ago. My wife went out for some alone time when my mom came over.”
“My mom offered to change his diaper, and since I am a totally exhausted new parent I let her.”
“I was videoing him, just because everything he does is totally awe-inspiring and video-worthy right now, and my brilliant son, with great aim, pissed all over her, the face, the hair, it was glorious.”
At first the OP’s mom played it off like a champ.
But not for long.
“Ok so my mom reacted like a normal person. She has had kids. Sh*t happens.”
“I told her that I got it on video, and again she wasn’t upset or anything, and then she became very angry and demanded that I not show my wife.”
“I told her to lighten up, it will probably happen to both of us some day, and my mom insisted that I do not show my wife. Ok mom whatever.”
The OP immediately went back on his word, and it didn’t go over well with his mom.
“Well of course I showed my wife. Being a new mom is insanely hard and I knew it would make her laugh.”
“My mom asked me, so I was honest and she will not speak to me. It has been four weeks and she will not respond.”
“I know she is alive because of social media. My wife agrees with me that she is being a drama queen but now I feel kind of bad.”
Redditors then gave their opinions on the situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many called out the OP for only exacerbating the tension between his wife and his mom.
“You can compartmentalize your relationship with your wife and your relationship with your mother. But you’re the one mixing the two and exacerbating the acrimony between the two.”
“When someone asks you to delete a photo or video of them, then you need to delete it. It’s respect for the person, and at the very least respect for yourself as a sign of a decent person.”
“YTA because you’re the cause of this unnecessary drama. You can’t just stand back and say you didn’t start this, especially when you were given warning or askance by your mother.”—WaDaEp
“YTA”
“If someone tells you they don’t want to be filmed or, in this case, they don’t want a film about themselves being shown to others, especially an embarrassing one, and you show it to others you are always TA.”
“Also you sound like those people who like going around starting dramas so you’re extra TA.”—alongstrangesomethin
“YTA. Also if you know your mom and your wife have issues, why are you exacerbating it?”—Spotzie27
The OP was criticized for violating his mother’s trust, and then shoving it in her face.
“Even if your mom is being a drama queen, how are you not an AH for showing it to your wife and embarrassing your mother. You didn’t have to show her. She didn’t even need to know the video existed.”
“You wanted her to know and you wanted to embarrass your mom. By definition, that’s a dick move.”
“YTA”
“Now you mom is upset and not talking to you. She will get over it eventually. I hope it was worth it.”—BrazilNut33626
“Are you really asking? YTA. You literally just ignored her request, why should she trust you for now?”—Thehypeboss
“And he ignored it *with the express purpose of mocking her*.”—lyoon72
“YTA. You broke your mom’s trust. Not cool.”—ObamaGuava
“This kind of behavior makes me question if it is a normal occurrence for him and his wife to mock his Mom… I know we are missing a lot of info but the way they are both behaving leaves a bad taste.”—tequilitas
Several Redditors called on the OP to apologize to his mom.
“You are a huge a**hole, liar, and drama queen. YTA.”
- “For not deleting the video of your baby peeing on your mom because it is clearly not a good moment.”
- “For showing your wife and helping her in their fight. You essentially took your wife’s side over your mom’s for absolutely no reason. Of course your wife agrees with you, she doesn’t like your mother of course she is going to agree with you.”
- “For showing a video to someone of someone else without their permission.”
- :For not apologizing to your mother after you saw how much it distressed her.”
- “For causing unnecessary drama.”
- “Lying to your mom.”
- “Breaking boundaries and creating conflict.”
“Your mom has a right to be angry at you and right now YOU are being a drama queen for showing the video to your wife and not apologizing to your mother.”—TheAnonymous123456
“YTA. Your mom specifically asked you not to show her and you didn’t care about her feelings at all.”
“Of course she’s mad at you. Time to apologize.”—nanimal77
Perhaps it’s time for the OP to start trying to help mend fences between his mom and his wife rather than knowingly driving more wedges between them—regardless of how innocuous or humorous he thinks they may be.