There’s very little that is more frustrating than an invasion of privacy.
Particularly, when it comes from one’s brother or sister, who are barging into your room with one purpose, and one purpose only—to annoy you.
Redditor No_Brush6215 was dealing with this very problem and thought she found a simple, if unusual, solution to it.
But when her parents responded to her tactics with outrage, the original poster (OP) turned to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), asking fellow Redditors:
“AITA for leaving a bra on the floor to stop my brother from coming into my room?”
The OP first gave fellow Redditors a brief history of her upbringing and all the inherent challenges that came with it.
“Title sounds weird but I can explain.”
“I(18 F[emale]) grew up in a very religious/Christian household.”
“I’ve always been raised to keep stuff that’s considered feminine away from any men and children in my family.”
“Besides my mother, I am the only girl in my family after six boys so that’s been a challenge for me.”
“I grew up sleeping on a bed in my parents room until I was around six.”
“My parents then moved me into my own room since they didn’t want me sharing a room with my brothers.”
“My brothers have always shown a little bit of jealousy towards this and seem to believe it’s not fully my room since my parents own the house.”
“I grew up with them disrespecting my boundaries and constantly walking in without knocking.”
“My parents usually blame me for this, telling me I should stand closer to the door when I change and shout out a warning when they open the door.”
“One of my brothers in particular does this at least three times a day.”
“It was only recently when he walked in whilst I was laying in my bed and started messing with some stuff I had out.”
“The thing he was playing with in particular was a small, handmade, cardboard robot one of my best friends made for me when I was around three.”
“After I told him to stop he finally dropped it onto the floor and started talking to me.”
“On his way out of my room he ended up accidentally stepping on it.”
“I immediately got up to inspect it but it was pretty much flattened.”
“He showed no remorse despite me trying to explain how much it meant to me.”
“I then went to my parents but they did nothing and told me it was just a piece of cardboard.”
“I tried to convince my parents to stop him from coming into my room but they refused to listen.”
Fed up with her brothers’ behavior, the OP found a simple solution to keep them out of her room.
“I had finally had enough so the next day I took three of my bras and placed them In front of my door.”
“Later that day he opened the door and stepped on one of them.”
“He just looked at me with a look of horror and walked out.”
“A few minutes later I was called down by my parents who demanded to know why I had left my bras laying out where they’d be seen.”
“I told them it was my room and it wasn’t my fault if he walked in there and saw them.”
“They tried to give me a lesson on ‘living by the Bible’ but I told them it was his fault for not knocking.”
“My whole family’s been giving me the cold shoulder for a few days and I’m starting to feel guilty and if I overreacted over a small toy.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they felt the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
NTA – Not The A**hole
YTA – You’re The A**hole
NAH – No A**holes Here
ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors were unanimous in agreeing the OP leaving her bras on the floor did not make her an a**hole.
Most Redditors were quick to point out the OP’s living situation was not at all healthy, with several encouraging her to consider moving out.
“Nta, are you not allowed to have a lock on your door???????”
“Also your solution is hilarious A+”
“But also please move out asap; you can’t have comfortable/healthy boundaries in the house without being (essentially) punished and your parents are NOT sticking up for you in situations where you’ve done nothing wrong.”-spocksbeanies.
“The way your family is treating you is not normal or okay in the slightest.”- lalrian
“What is the point of having a private room if you don’t have privacy?”
“It kinda defeats the whole point!”- Bearded4Glory
“I am completely unaware of any prohibition in the New Testament about leaving your clothing on the floor.”
“Or maybe it’s the commandment to let your family walk all over you.”
“No seriously, your brothers are jerks, and your parents are seriously weird.”
“And none of them are respecting your right to privacy.”
“The whole surpassing sounds creepy, so I’d say get out of there as soon as you can .” -Beginning-Ice-1005
“NTA, my only true advice is to move out as soon as possible.”
“My joke advice is to play fire with fire, if they want you to ‘live by the bible’, point out:
Matthew 18:9 –’And if your eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away’.”
“Basically, Jesus agrees with you in that one.”
“If they’re disgusted by your ‘feminine things’ that’s their problem.”
“Also also, I don’t know how your parents would react, but another option is a door stopper.” -SparkAxolotl
Redditors became even more worried when the OP filled them in on how her moving out might not be feasible any time soon.
“I’m not sure about college.”
“They tend to dismiss how important it is to me.”
“In my situation their is no moving out and becoming independent to them.”
“unless I take action then my only escape would be marriage.”
“As for the account I’m not sure.”
“I’ve saved up about four thousand dollars from raising chickens and getting part of the money we sell eggs for.”
“About fifty dollars a week.”
“I’d also have to account for taking care of my cat once I leave.”
“My parents have a tendency to neglect animals they own so I’m definitely not leaving him.”
What’s more, the OP also revealed she is almost never permitted to leave the house, and when she does, it is never alone.
“The problem is that I live pretty far away from civilization.”
“Only a few neighbors.”
“I’ve almost never been allowed to leave for something alone or go places without telling them.”
“I need to be absolutely sure I’ve prepared everything.”
“If I’m ever going to get a car it would have to be right before I leave.”
The more they learned, the more concerned fellow Redditors started to become.
It became apparent this was no laughing matter and the OP needed to get out of that house as fast as she could.
“I would recommend reaching out to your local woman’s shelter, they can give you the resources to escape.”
“A college loan would pay for your school and housing until you get a job.”
“Most states also have programs that can help you out with food, transportation, and other necessities.”
“If you hit a wall keep asking for help! “
“My parents tried to keep me from getting a technical degree by denying me their tax info so I could not fill out the FAFSA, but the college I was going to helped me file independently and I got a lot more aid than I would have before.”
I” would recommend therapy to deal with your parents and those you are leaving behind.”
“My mom tried to keep me from leaving so I could care for my 6 year old sister, and it took a lot to figure out it was not my fault or responsibility for leaving her.”
“They can help give you another perspective on the situation and what parts are abusive, such as your complete lack of privacy!” -Lycoris
“This is not normal.”
“The disrespect and lack of concern for everything you value is huge.”
“Please get out.”
“Call domestic abuse hot lines.”
“Find a charity that helps women leave cults.”
“Reach out to a cat rescue charity and see if someone can foster your cat until to get on your feet.”
“Make sure your parents do not know about and cannot get your money.” – Desert_Sea_4998
“First of all, absolutely NTA, the complete lack of privacy (disregard for basic human rights) and manipulation using twisted (incorrect) religion is insane. Also, the bra thing is hilarious and brilliant, if you can’t figure anything else out you could probably keep doing that.”
“On a slightly diverging note, it’s things like this that make people think Christians are weird/crazy/hateful etc, which I absolutely hate because Christianity is, first and foremost, about love and faith. As an extension to that, respect (like respecting boundaries and treating both genders equally, not like one is less than human) is very important.”
“Second of all, God created us… Therefore, there’s no reason to hide ‘feminine’ things (I’m 98% sure nothing like that is ever said in the Bible) because you are, in fact, a female, like God created you.”
“This might be slightly off-topic, but I really hope these experiences don’t push you away from God and Christianity, because I’m sure that this is an example of hypocrisy and most Christian aren’t like this, and also that’s not what the religion’s about (the opposite actually).”
“Sorry about the little rant 😅, and good luck with your situation; I hope you’ll be able to reconcile this with your family somehow, or at least move out since it doesn’t seem like they are willing to be reasonable here.”
“If a 4 year college isn’t a viable option, try a 2 year one, a trade school, or the military.” – Current_Cheesecake_6
“This is so disgusting. The fact that the brothers come in without knocking leads me to believe they WANT to see something they shouldn’t.”
“OP is NTA but if I were her, I’d move out ASAP. This is some gross controlling behavior from her parents and possibly borderline pervy behavior from her brothers.”
“I cannot imagine being a young woman constantly having to assert boundaries in her own home. This is scary to me.”
“Then I have to wonder about these brothers and how they will grow up. Won’t they have wives and daughters some day?”
“Y’all, all those females are going to wear bras and have periods! Parents who shield their sons from these things are hurting everyone. ‘Feminine’ things don’t need to be hidden or shamed.” – SuperPale99
“NTA. I hate to break it to your mom and dad, but they aren’t Christian, and they’ve failed to raise anything other than an entitled son(s?).”
“It’s interesting that they don’t teach their son to be more respectful, and chances are they use purity culture as an excuse to blame you for their son’s misdeeds. I’m ex-evangelical because of people like your mom, dad, and brother.”
“Using G-d’s word to control others is a sham, and they’re in for a rude awakening when they go before G-d. Keep your head up, and keep your boundaries.”
“Boundaries are absolutely healthy,and are very much found and supported throughout the Bible.” – NotMyProblem31
As comments from fellow Redditors grew more and more concerned, the OP revealed she subsequently reached out to a friend, who may help her leave this unhealthy living situation.
“I reached out to one of my friends after I made this post.”
“The thought that my brothers were doing anything sexual made me concerned.”
“She is an atheist whilst her parents are Christian.”
“We’ve been discussing ways for me to move out but haven’t really figured out a plan.”
“She’s offered to ask her parents if I can move in since they are a lot more accepting and less religious.”
Here’s hoping the OP can find a support system to help her change and improve her living situation.