No two people have the same diet.
But it’s still possible for people to share a home, even a kitchen in spite of this.
As long as everyone is respectful of what everyone does and doesn’t eat, and doesn’t touch food that doesn’t belong to them.
Redditor frustratingbaconeate was initially supportive when his teenage daughter began undertaking a diet much different from his own.
But support wasn’t good enough for the original poster (OP)’s daughter, who began to demand that all foods which don’t align with her diet not be allowed in the family kitchen.
A request the OP was much less than inclined to oblige.
Worried that they might be being insensitive to their daughter, the OP took to the subReddit “Would I Be The A**hole” (WIBTA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“WIBTA for refusing to stop cooking bacon in my kitchen due to my teenage daughter’s vegan lifestyle?”
The OP explained how a change in his daughter’s diet slowly evolved into her demanding certain ingredients be banned from their kitchen.
“Dad here, old fart, loves his daughter to pieces but I’m struggling to see eye to eye with my teenager and wife on this one.”
“We’ve always been a meat-eating family, we live in the rural Midwest, and bacon for breakfast is pretty much a given.”
“This year my 14 y/o daughter decided to go vegan, and I jumped onto her support team with enthusiasm.”
“We learned how to substitute ingredients, cook new things, try new things. I adjusted our budget to include more expensive vegan substitutes for her, etc.”
“None of this has been a problem for me until recently.”
“She saw me cook bacon in a pan, and then I rinsed it out to load in the dishwasher.”
“She exploded in anger, teen years, I’m not too fussed about the anger explosion, I know she doesn’t mean it, and said that that was HER pan for vegan food.”
“I was completely floored and said, kiddo this here is a family pan, older than you, it’s not YOUR pan.”
“She asked me to purchase her a pan that she can solely use for vegan food.”
“I didn’t want her to feel weird about food, so I said sure, and ordered her a few colored ones that are only for her.”
“The reason they’re colored is so it helps me remember that I’m not to touch them unless I’m cooking vegan.”
“That wasn’t good enough.”
“Now apparently the dishwasher is ‘contaminated’ with animal product, and the fridge has ‘bacon grease fingers’ on it, because I eat bacon and then touch the fridge, and she’s asked me and her mom to completely stop eating meat at home.”
“I don’t mean I literally touch the fridge with greasy bacon hands, because I wash my hands, but it’s clear enough that it upsets my daughter.”
“Frankly I’m on team hell no.”
“Her mom is much more amenable and strongly wants me to consider taking our daughter up on the request.”
“My wife’s reasoning is that both our parents live close so we can eat meat products there and that she doesn’t want our daughter to feel uncomfortable in the kitchen.”
“My daughter says she is fine with cheese and butter in the fridge, but it’s specifically meat products that make her feel sick.”
“Now I’m sorry for her, but I feel like she just needs to adapt and live side by side, because I’m not going to stop eating bacon in my own house.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit Community agreed that the OP would not be the a**hole for refusing to stop keeping meat in his kitchen.
Everyone agreed that the OP’s daughter’s request was incredibly unreasonable, particularly as he had been extremely supportive of her decision to go vegan.
“NTA.”
“Obviously.”
“You’ve been supportive of her new diet choice and have been very accommodating by getting her pans to use for vegan food.”
“She can’t expect you to change your whole lifestyle to cater to her.”
“Meat needs to be kept in the fridge, and if the dishwasher is tainted then maybe she should try washing a dish by hand GASP.”- RonDeGrasseDawtchins
“Pfft had a vegan roommate in the past.”
“He used the fridge and dishwasher just fine.”
‘Time for a real-world lesson for her, she’s not always gonna live with people who share her food lifestyle.”
“She’s got to learn to compromise.”
“There is no reason to inconvenience yourselves and others because she’s being a dramatic teen.”
“Compromise.”
“She has her own cookware and her own meat-free section of the fridge.”- PommeDeSang
“NTA.”
“You’re already being as supportive as you can, but at the end of the day it’s your house.”
“You don’t need to bend the knee to your daughter over this.”- 13rahma
“NTA many vegans cohabitate successfully with meat eaters, your daughter is pushing the line here and being unreasonable.”
“You have gone out of your way to support her dietary choices, I’m assuming that she washes her own pans and dishes by hand herself rather than using the contaminated dishwasher lol, it is time for her to learn how to coexist peacefully with people that don’t think exactly as she does.”
“I think your wife is 100% wrong here and is trying to take the easy way to avoid an angsty teenager being difficult.”
“This is a fantastic learning experience for your daughter in tolerance and compromise.”-LifeExplorer64
“NTA.’
“She’s 14.”
“There is no middle ground at 14.”
“My condolences, as it’s going to be a long winter.”- Zauberspruch
“NTA. And I say that as a vegan.”
“‘Cross contamination’ is BS that militant vegans make up to make themselves feel superior to other vegans.”
“And she has to understand that there’s going to be meat around.”
‘I get that it upsets her, really, but unless she only lives with vegans for the rest of her life, then this is something she is going to have to get used to.”
“A compromise might be to keep the meat in a drawer in the fridge rather than getting rid of it altogether.”
“She’s young, and a new vegan, so the good news is that she will probably grow out of/ease up on it.”
‘When you first go vegan you’re so excited and feel so enlightened like no one ever figured this out before you.”
“Then you get a little jaded and relax a bit.”
‘Try to tough it out and keep talking to her.’
‘But no, you do not need to stop making/storing meat in your house just for her.”
“I am very clearly not talking about cross-contamination when it comes to food allergies.”-purplegirl1511
“You know the answer, I’m assuming this is for your wife.”
“You are accommodating despite it being irrational.”
“It’s now being pushed to a new level of irrational.”
“Explain to your daughter that you’re trying to be as accommodating as possible but this is too far for you and there are no grounds for further arguing because you don’t have the same perspective as her.”
“She might be mad at you, but when she has her own living space and gets to make the rules, she might understand why you don’t want to be forced to go elsewhere to eat.”- brandonnavi
“NTA.”
“Get her a special sponge she can use to wash her own dishes so she didn’t have to use the ‘tainted’ dishwasher.”- DoffyTrash
“NTA.”
“You sound super cool, to adjust your eating habits and offering to buy her a new set of pans.”
“But yikes, just like you would never force your lifestyle on her, she can’t force hers on you.”
“Is this a recent behavior?”
“Because that’s the same type of extremist vegan behavior that puts a lot of people off from veganism.”- Withamoomoohere
“NTA.”
“She’s vegan, not keeping kosher, ffs.”
“You have been supportive up to this point and now she’s seriously pushing it.”
“When she has her own place that she pays for, she can dictate what food is kept and cooked there, but you all shouldn’t have to completely alter your lives to accommodate her.”- SoMuchMoreEagle
“NTA.”
“So without going into all the opinions I have here, might I suggest you kindly remind her that even at a restaurant that serves vegan food, she’s likely to get it on a plate that once had a burger on it.”
“She is being a ridiculous teenager.”
“Don’t indulge her.”- PartyCat78
“NTA.”
“You’ve been more than accommodating thus far.”
“She’s just seeing how far she can push it.”
“Changing you & your wife’s diet is unreasonable.”- 3_littleByrds
The OP’s daughter is not alone in her disgust at even the thought of meat, as almost all vegans feel the same way.
That being said, her father shouldn’t be forbidden to eat his favorite foods in his own house, just because of her fairly new dietary beliefs.
And hopefully, she’ll come to realize this after a civil conversation or two.