As humans, we are bound to have misunderstandings from time to time.
But how we handle those situations can say a lot about our personalities, pointed out the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
When a Redditor who has since deleted her account was falsely identified as a single mother, she proudly displayed her wedding ring.
But when she was criticized for how she presented herself, the Original Poster (OP) wondered if she was acting too pridefully.
She asked the sub:
“AITA for showing someone my wedding ring when they asked me if I was a single mother?”
The OP was out shopping with her children.
“I was doing some grocery shopping with my 2 kids (3 and 4.5) today.”
“Usually we all shop together, but my husband was at work all day and I wanted to get to the digital deals and week ad sales the first day of the store week while they were still well-stocked (Kroger/Fry’s).”
“Something didn’t scan right in the self-checkout, so an attendant came to help.”
“She first gave my kids some stickers, which they were super thankful for, then she began to see what the problem was.”
The employee misread the situation.
“She stopped and smiled comfortingly at me, ‘Shopping can be hard as a single mom, can’t it?'”
“I was taken aback as we usually shop as a family with my husband and I never receive questions like this.”
“I laughed uncomfortably and said, ‘Oh, no, I’m not a single mother…’ and showed her my rings.”
“My husband crafted a beautiful engagement ring for me with diamonds his father gifted him when he was younger. We had a very small courthouse wedding where he gave me a small diamond wedding band. Together they’re very beautiful and I treasure them.”
The employee did not appreciate this.
“But as soon as I showed the attendant, she made an awful, offended face and said, ‘Okay, wow, you’re the winner for the most disrespectful shopper today.’ And she literally left.”
“I was like… what? So I pressed ‘Request attendant’ on the checkout touchscreen, and a young man came to help me.”
“He asked me why his supervisor left in such a hurry.”
“I told him she asked if I was a single mother and I said no and showed her my wedding ring.”
“He laughed and said that’s ridiculous. I agreed.”
“I saw her talking to other employees as I was walking out of the store and heard one of them say, ‘b***h’ while looking my way.”
“I then felt very bad about the whole thing.”
“So, AITA for showing someone my wedding ring when they assumed I was a single mother?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some didn’t see what the OP did wrong.
“You were way nicer than I’d have been.”
“‘Shopping is hard when you’re a single mother’??? What?? That’s where the condescension starts for me.”
“Take your pick on which assumption is more annoying: single mom, hard to manage my kids, my kids being a handful without knowing a d**n thing about them – it’s endless.”
“She made an assumption that you proved wrong and someone called you a name for it.”
“NTA” – KeepLkngForIntllgnce
“She’s just jealous of your rings. In her mind, all you had to say was, ‘I’m married, not single,’ and showing her your rings was a little bit ‘extra.'”
“What you did was fine though, and her issue with you is 100% projection.” – numbersthen0987431
“NTA. I am struggling to see what you did wrong here. Well in fact, I can’t see.”
“Maybe she thought it was some kind of humble-brag? But that doesn’t really work because your actions were a direct consequence of her making assumptions.”
“Bit confused, to be honest. Anyway, don’t feel bad.” – Stoat__King
Others felt the employee didn’t behave responsibly in the workplace.
“NTA.”
“The only inappropriate person is the store worker.”
“Pretty much of a stretch for her to assume you are a single mother just because it was you and the kids. Plenty of married women shop with their kids and without their partners.”
“She was the AH and got caught – that’s why she’s upset.” – Ducky818
“I usually take my youngest or oldest… or both with me food shopping while my husband is sleeping because he works the third shift.”
“You can’t possibly assume all women who are shopping with their children and without their husband is a single mom. Also, NTA” – jlapata74
“I wonder if she was a single mom herself and was mad you didn’t share a moment of co-sympathizing.”
“Either way, that’s not how you carry yourself in a retail position, and as a supervisor, she should know that.” – throwawolol
Some agreed and pointed out the supervisor made the situation worse.
“NTA. And she trash-talked about her to her co-workers. One of those co-workers called her a b***h. I would absolutely report that! WTH??” – Moist-Investigator63
“The attendant definitely played it up as if OP was being smug or rubbing it in her face somehow.”
“And honestly? Even if OP wants to brag about her ring, there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s OK to be proud of your marriage just as much as it is to be proud of being a single mom.”
“This employee was definitely projecting something.” – Tachibana13
“As someone who’s worked in retail for over 5 years now, her question was borderline inappropriate, and her reaction to your perfectly reasonable response was wildly unprofessional.” – AllegraO
Confused right along with the OP, the subReddit agreed that they not only didn’t think that what the OP was wrong, but they also struggled to understand why the employee took issue with it.
More glaringly though, the subReddit found reasons for why the OP could have been more upset with the employee than she was, starting with the startling assumption that she was single and ending with the remark made by another employee, proving that she was already spreading gossip about the OP around the workplace.