Whether we want to admit it or not, most of us have a celebrity crush.
But some people take their crush to the next level and wonder what it would be like to be intimate with their crush, side-eyed the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITAH) subReddit.
Redditor Jackie—Daytona— had the opportunity to go to an event with celebrities present, including her friend’s celebrity crush, and she had a chance to spend the evening with him.
When her friend was later hurt that she had taken advantage, despite the fact that her friend had called “dibs,” the Original Poster (OP) wondered if she was wrong for what she did.
She asked the sub:
“AITAH for sleeping with my friend’s ‘hall pass’?”
The OP’s friend had a huge crush on a musician.
“I (49 Female) have been friends with Sarah (49 Female) for about 15 years.”
“She’s happily married, with two kids. I’m (amicably) divorced with a kid. We met at our children’s preschool. We’ve been there for each other through some tough times.”
“Sarah has a huge crush on… I’ll call him ‘Jake,’ as long as I’ve known her.”
“Jake is a popular, but not stadium-filling musician. From what I can tell, he makes a living, has had popular albums, and has toured with A-listers, but he’s not necessarily a household name. He’s in his late 40’s.”
“Sarah has never met him. She’s been to several of his concerts and owns a bunch of merch and considers Jake her ‘Hall Pass.’ Again, she’s married and would never actually cheat on her husband.”
“Honestly, her crush never seemed off the rails to me. Like she’d joke about him wooing her through Instagram, but she didn’t, like, stalk him.”
When an opportunity arose to meet this person, the OP took advantage.
“So let me say here, I would NEVER, even when I was younger, date or even flirt with a guy a friend of mine liked/was interested in. Friends come before guys and men. It just wouldn’t be cool.”
“However.”
“A few weeks ago, I randomly met Jake at a charity event. He was hired as the entertainment.”
“We got to talking, and one thing led to another… and I ended up sleeping with him. It was a one-time thing, fun and we both knew it was casual.”
Sarah did not take the news well.
“At first, I thought it was a funny, wild story to share with Sarah. After all, it’s not like she would ever actually *be* with him, right?”
“But when I told her, she looked really hurt. She wasn’t mad exactly, but she said something like, ‘Wow, I can’t believe you actually did that,’ and she’s been distant ever since.”
“I didn’t think the ‘friends before men’ rule applied here because he was basically her Movie Star Crush, not a real romantic prospect for her. But now I’m second-guessing everything.”
“I feel awful for upsetting her, but I genuinely didn’t think it was that big of a deal.”
“Now I’m wondering, AITAH?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some thought the friend had nothing to be upset about because there were no “dibs” to call.
“NTA. She is married. She can’t call ‘dibs’ on a guy she can’t even be with.”
“I wonder how her Husband would feel about her crush. Honestly, I would take this as a wake-up call and end this friendship. She doesn’t sound like a good person.” – Bonnm42
“NTA. You didn’t break any real friendship rules here. Sarah’s crush on Jake is just fantasy. You had a chance encounter and some fun. No need to feel guilty about it.”
“Sarah’s reaction is a bit much. It’s not like you stole her actual boyfriend. She needs to get over it and realize it’s not that serious.”
“Maybe give her some space for now, but don’t beat yourself up over it. You didn’t do anything wrong.” – ImaginaryWorld851
“Seriously?! I think if one of my single friends got to sleep with my musical crush, I would want all of the details and to live vicariously through them!”
“Yes, I would have a twinge of jealousy, but only because they were my musical crush. Hurt by it would be weird.”
“Like I said, there’s a part of me that would be excited about hearing every detail because I know I would have never have the chance because I’m happily married.” – Duh-YouAREthea**hole
“You can’t have ‘dibs’ on a guy you haven’t actually met especially since you’re married. And you really can’t call ‘dibs’ on people anyway.”
“Dibs on the last soda, sure. But not a human being. Your friend is a childish brat.” – Desperate-Pear-860
“This is a regular post by regular human bartender Jackie Daytona, you can’t fool me. I think you were right when you said you just ruined a harmless fantasy of hers. She’s being irrational, but hopefully, she’ll realize she’s being silly and dramatic and come around.”
“I have dibs on Chris Hemsworth,though. Just in case he randomly becomes single and you happen to meet him. I would be very hurt if you slept with him and didn’t even Facetime me during the deed.”
“NAH, just one silly married woman and one normal, everyday human who likes superb owl parties.” – Vox_Mortem
But others felt that the OP had been insensitive to her friend.
“You shouldn’t have told her. Of course she’s going to be envious.” – iivisigoth
“Yeah, the friend’s little fantasy that she really enjoyed is ruined now. That’s what she’s upset about, I think. Not about two consenting adults having casual sex.” – Robcobes
“Not the a**hole for doing it. YTA massively for telling your friend you did.”
“You absolutely knew better than to think it was a ‘funny story’ to tell her about and she’d laugh about it. Who are you trying to kid? Of course she wouldn’t. You most certainly did not have any good motive for boasting about screwing her major crush.”
“You rubbed her face in it, and you know you did. Bragging you got some of what she never will. You’re no friend, you’re a mean girl.” – Inevitable_Pie9541
“You’re not so much an AH because you did it. But, YTA for then bragging to her about it. You stole her fantasy, and it stings for her, I’m sure. This whole post is giving me big mean girl vibes while trying to garner sympathy points.” – Aggravating_Style544
“ESH.”
“I do feel like your friend is absolutely ridiculous because she’s happily married, and she has no claim on this other man. And you didn’t do anything wrong. Because there’s no claim.”
“So she shouldn’t be the least bit p**sy about it. And I do think her reaction is at the minimum, disrespectful to her husband and marriage.”
“However, I do think you were thoughtless and insensitive. I mean, you’ve basically just told her that you were able to get something that she knows she’ll never have the privilege of having. Even if she wanted to or could.”
“Not only that but for you, it was basically meaningless. If I were her, I’d probably be wondering why it had to be him? Why couldn’t it have been some other rando that you decided to f**k?”
“It’s like taking an opportunity to travel somewhere that you didn’t care about one way or another but is a place that she’s dreamed about going as a nebulous ‘someday.’ And yet you just took the trip on a whim. Just for kicks. And now here you are telling her about how marvelous the scenery was, how nice the people were and all the wonderful food tasted amazing.”
“Life isn’t fair but you’ve just personally shown her just how much it isn’t.”
“I dunno what you should do about this. Dismissing her feelings will damage your friendship, further. But I’m not sure you should apologize? Because you didn’t *actually* betray her, either…” – QTLady
“I get a huge air of almost humble-brag from this entire post, and I’m guessing that’s what put her friend off even more than the specific dude (though that was certainly what pushed it over the top).”
“At 49, have you not learned to use some discretion? Just savor this memory of a fun night for yourself, or at most share with a couple of close friends you’re certain won’t be rubbed the wrong way. (*That’s not age-shaming, I’m in the same generation. I’m essentially saying grow up.)” – BrikHowse
A few focused on what they believed mattered most: who the celebrity was.
“Weird that you decided to sleep with Weird Al Yankovic, but okay.” – mi_nombre_es_ricardo
“I just can’t believe OP slept with Corey Feldman.” – Particular-Map2400
“I’m putting my money on Gavin Degraw.” – LadyBird26
“Lol (laughing out loud), why do I feel like you slept with Daughtry?” – 2Shoes_99
“It was totally Jake from State Farm.” – radicalnachos
After receiving feedback, the OP shared an update, stating that all was well with Sarah.
“Wow, I can’t believe this blew up. I’ve appreciated your feedback, and I really enjoyed the guesses!”
“I got together with Sarah yesterday, and things are going to be okay w/us. Maybe a touch weird for a bit, but okay. Showing her this post helped because some people were able to express things we were individually thinking, but more articulately.”
“And we had a huge amount of laughs at people’s guesses (Jake from State Farm, as if anyone but Flo could pull THAT). So thank you all for being a part of us figuring this out.”
“And oh my f**king god, no, it was not Dave Grohl. I’d never sleep with a married guy. That’s just vile. Plus, correct me if I’m wrong, he was in f**king Nirvana and is in Foo Fighters. Not exactly the type to play small corporate gigs.”
“Two people did name the guy in a couple of really low-rated comments, which kinda surprised me. Like I said, he’s not a household name and I thought the details I gave were enough for context, but broad enough enough to not nail it. Reddit, you guys are good.”
The subReddit could see both sides of this story, from simply the fun novelty of it to how it could be hurtful to kill someone’s fantasy. But the most fun part had to be everyone’s guesses at who else was involved in the story, and everyone was relieved that the OP and Sarah would be able to move past this.