Wedding days are meant to be incredibly special occasions. They symbolize the relationship someone has with their favorite person in the world and the life they’re looking forward to with them.
While some things are bound to go wrong, there are certain elements that could negatively affect the whole day if they go wrong, pointed out the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
But Redditor Low_Point_7253 didn’t think it was a big deal when their cousin, the DJ, messed up, even if it meant not using the right song for the happy couple’s first dance.
But when they were criticized for their behavior, the Original Poster (OP) questioned if they were somehow in the wrong.
He asked the sub:
“AITA for calling the bride a bridezilla?”
The OP’s cousin had DJ responsibilities at their best friend’s wedding.
“My best friend was getting married to his now wide on Saturday.”
“My cousin is a DJ and they hired him for the wedding.”
“The couple had apparently requested some songs to be put on the playlist. They had requested their entrance and first dance songs, as well, like usual.”
But the DJ messed up the plans.
“My cousin went on to put the entrance song, but it was a different song than the one requested.”
“The bride was about to cry and my best friend, the groom, tried to comfort her.”
“They ended up making their entrance, but a while after, my cousin texted me privately that he took a different playlist USB by accident and left the actual wedding playlist at home. He accidentally brought another wedding’s playlist.”
“When he told me that, I asked to speak to the groom. I notified him and he got upset.”
“Then the bride came and asked what’s up, and I told her it was nothing to worry about.”
“But then the groom probably told her and she went to the DJ h**la mad and she looked like she was about to have a mental breakdown.”
The OP criticized the bride.
“I went there next to them while the bride was scolding my cousin/DJ.”
“I told her, ‘It’s ok, it’s just music. You shouldn’t let that ruin your whole wedding. You’re acting like one of those entitled bridezillas.'”
“Her sister, who was also a MOH (Maid of Honor), heard that and she told me to get the h**l out of there and take my worthless DJ cousin with me.”
“My cousin refused to apologize because things like that happen very often and it shouldn’t be a big deal.”
“Then both the bride and the groom called him unprofessional and demanded a refund.”
The OP didn’t appreciate the fallout that happened soon after.
“I left the venue with my cousin.”
“The day after, I was bombarded with texts from friends and the couple’s families, calling me TA for daring to shame the bride for feeling disappointed because my cousin was irresponsible and unprofessional and how he almost ruined their wedding day.”
“From what I gathered from the text, a distant cousin of the bride had worked as a DJ in the past in some gigs. Apparently, she improvised and saved the day by using the venue’s equipment.”
“I don’t believe that’s possible, and they probably said it just to make me feel ashamed for my cousin ruining the playlist.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some certainly took issue with the OP calling the bride a bridezilla.
“Bridezilla is expecting people to cut their hair off, or dye their hair to match all the other bridesmaids.”
“Expecting the DJ to bring the right playlist – that’s not a bridezilla. That’s a perfectly reasonable expectation.” – redheadjd
“Not to mention the first dance which many people choreograph, a sentimental song for the father and daughter dance, the songs special to the couple in general.”
“Music is a lot of things to a lot of people. It has the power to make you feel and remember. OP, if your cousin doesn’t understand this, then he shouldn’t be in the music industry.” – MythofLaur
“My late husband and I have an ‘our song’ that is deeply personal and treasured, part of their romantic history and memories.”
“So YES, OP – the bride and groom’s love and commitment to each other IS the most important thing at a wedding . . . AND it’s through carefully chosen, meaningful details – like special, personal songs – that couples express and share that love at their weddings.” – MrMistopheles
“YTA. You shouldn’t call someone a bridezilla at their own wedding because the DJ f**ked up and brought the wrong music.”
“Most people only get to walk down the aisle once and if the person you are paying money to make that how you imagined f**ks you up, then yeah, you should be upset.”
“It also sounds like your cousin is a really unprofessional DJ and is also an a**.” – Steve_parcells
Others agree and criticized the OP and the DJ for their behavior.
“The cousin clearly isn’t very good at his job. I would be p**sed too that he f**ked up his one and only job! He owes them a refund and you owe them an apology.”
“Also, not believe the friend would be able to save the day – lol (laughing out loud). Just because you and your cousin are incompetent, doesn’t mean everyone is!” – Weekly-Owl6644
“VERY much YTA.”
“The DJ was exceptionally unprofessional and probably should consider giving up the business because he’s very bad at it.”
“As such, he deserves to be yelled at and kicked out of the venue.”
“And OP is an AH for defending him and berating the bride and groom. I don’t know why he feels the need to stick his nose in this since it doesn’t really concern him.” – pcnauta
“I organized a work Christmas party around 2010. The company had already hired a DJ that the venue had recommended.”
“During dinner, he put on a Helen Reddy album. That’s it. Helen Reddy all through dinner.”
“After dinner, there was dancing. At least he had more variety than one singer, but it was still elevator music jams. One of the other party-goers requested more current, upbeat songs.”
“The very next song? Caribbean Queen. It was hilarious!”
“People learned to request specific songs, which he was accommodating with, and the party got a little better.”
“But back to the OP. YTA. A major one.”
“She wasn’t a bridezilla for being upset that this DJ totally screwed up their music because he so carelessly brought the wrong USB drive. As such, you shouldn’t have name-called her, especially at her own wedding!”
“I hope he returned all their money since he was asked to leave with good cause.”
“The only thing I agree with the OP on is, that I also hope the bride and groom didn’t let a shitty DJ and his AH cousin, ruin their day.” – NolaJen1120
Some were especially upset with the DJ and his lack of professionalism.
“He had ONE job. YTA. In this day and age, how hard is it to download the songs again? Or keep them in the cloud in the first place?” – blaziken2708
“I don’t even get why all the USBs wouldn’t be marked and kept with him at all times.”
“I have close to 10 USB pen drives, 2 portable drives, a memory card reader, and 3 backup memory card readers (yes, I am a paranoid data hoarder, don’t at me). And they are regularly checked and kept in a safe pouch in my bag.”
“And I don’t even have to use all of them on a regular basis like Mr. Useless D**k Jockey over here.” – dd801363
“The moment the DJ discovered he’d f**ked up, he should’ve gone to the bride or groom and gotten at the very least the picks for the entrance, first dance, and father/daughter dance, or whatever other major picks they had.”
“He could’ve then gotten those songs quickly and freaking PLAYED THEM instead of doubling down on his mistake and continuing to play the wrong playlist. What an unprofessional a**!” – JadieJang
“No s**t and honestly with modern technology he should have been able to quickly pull their most needed music up on his phone (Pandora, Spotify, etc) and get that entrance running.”
“He could have pulled first dance and all that up as well while waiting or had OP run to his house to grab the device.”
“But lastly, DJs don’t just show up 10 min to showtime. How the f**k did they get all the way to the entrance before he realized he didn’t have the right music?”
“This guy isn’t a DJ, he’s a dude robbing people.” – Slade_Riprock
The OP may have been convinced that he had done nothing wrong and that the DJ’s behavior was no big deal, but the subReddit did not agree.
A wedding day should be a special, memorable day, and for many, that includes the music selection. The day could have worked out completely differently if the DJ had been transparent about the mistake he made.