When a woman becomes pregnant and her husband is around, it goes without saying that he’s obligated to step up and be extra helpful.
After all, he’s lucky enough to not carry an entire human inside his belly.
But is there a line?
A recent post on the “Am I the A**hole (AITA)” subReddit called that into question.
The Original Poster (OP), known as Particulathrowaway23 on the site, got right to the point in the title.
“AITA for not getting my pregnant wife her food cravings at 3AM?”
OP immediately got right into a play by play.
“Hey everyone! Im (30-year-old male), my wife is (29-year-old female).”
“Yesterday night my wife at 3AM woke me up and said ‘babe, I want something to eat’.’ I wake up and say ‘hmm ok what do you want to eat?’ “
“She says ‘I want some ice cream,’ I said ‘ok I’ll get you some from downstairs which one do you want we have the vanilla or the chocolate one?’ ”
“She said ‘I don’t want none of those, I want this breyers reese ice cream I want that one get me that.’ I said ‘but babe we don’t have any of those.’ “
“She then says ‘well get me some please? im your wife come on? you know I got a baby in my stomach your feeding two people.’ “
OP then shared some pertinent logistical facts.
“Keep in mind, we live in a rural area with a small population. Convenience stores, and grocery stores don’t open till 6AM where we live none of them do.”
“The only one that is open is the Circle K one which is at least almost 2 hours from where we live that’s in the city nearby. We live in a rural area.”
“So driving 2 hours just to get ice cream doesn’t make sense.”
Nonetheless, OP was committed to solutions.
“I thought about looking into ordering that ice cream on go puff, or ubereats and I checked on my phone that none of that is available in our zip code.”
“So then I told my wife ‘well babe I guess you got to wait, sorry. I can get you some when it turns 6 but there is still 3 hours left. I mean we still have chocolate, and vanilla ice cream at home you can eat that and when it turns 6 I’ll drive over and get you that it’s not a problem.’ “
Eventually, the grape vine became involved.
“Then my wife just makes a grunt noise and says ‘fine.’ Turns out my wife texted her dad about it and he called me up and asked me why I didn’t get his baby girl the food she wanted.”
“I told him that we live in a rural area, and stores don’t open till 6. We don’t have any delivery options nearby and I can get it for her at 6 but not now.”.
“He told me I was being a bad father for not helping my pregnant wife”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Most Redditors told OP he hadn’t been an a**hole.
“NTAJust because someone’s pregnant doesn’t mean the world revolves around them.”
“It was an unreasonable request, and the fact that you actually went through some lengths to at least try to fulfil it goes to show that you are definitely far from a bad father” — _CANZUK_
“NTA. Expecting you to drive two hours in the middle of the night to get a very specific type of ice cream is completely unreasonable.
“You looked for ways to possibly get it for her, but it wasn’t going to work. She needs to grow up and her dad needs to butt out of your relationship.”
“Like damn, I get that pregnancy cravings can be strong but this is just a ridiculous expectation on your wife’s part.” — cillianellis
“NTA No sane person is driving a total of 4 hours for ice cream and I’d be looking at your wife sideways. Everytime she doesn’t get her way is she gonna run and tell daddy?” — A-Fu**ing-Yo
“Absolutely NTA. She’s pregnant, not feeble. If it was that important to her, she could have driven herself.”
“It’s dangerous to drive when tired and 2 hours in the middle of the night for ice cream isn’t exactly an emergency.”
“We live 5 mins walk from a 24 hour shop and I wouldn’t have dreamt of waking my husband up in the night for my pregnancy cravings.” — beechaser77
Some commenters were mothers themselves.
“Even if you drove to the next town, which you said was 2 hours away, that is a 4 hour round trip. Which would get you home AFTER the stores in your town open! You aren’t a wizard. There was literally nothing you could do at that time. NTA”
“I am a mother of 4 and had my share of cravings, but I would NEVER have asked my doting husband to get me anything in the middle of the night, even from our own kitchen!” — crowleydog
“NTA I was pregnant twice. Although I had cravings I would never ask my SO to drive hours to get something I craved. That is just being a jerk.”
“Other point- she is pregnant- not disabled. If she absolutely had to have that particular ice-cream, she could drive herself to get it. Or ‘Daddy dearest’ could haul his butt out of bed and go get it if he thinks she really needs it to survive the night.” — Electronic-Cat-4478
“Nta never understood pregnancy cravings. Been pregnant a few times and never had a craving that I had to have right away. I think people play up to this a bit to be fair. If she had needed something to help with sickness then fair enough.” — Hemantobarish
“NTA. She’s giving us pregnant women a bad name – if I’m craving something and we don’t have it, it sucks to be me. She’s not going to die or hurt the baby without the ice cream.” — yoashleydawn
“NTA Twice pregnant here – your wife is being unreasonable and disrespectful by getting her dad involved.”
“Pregnant does not mean you get to boss people around and send them on ridiculous errands at all hours of the night. She gets what is available and she shouldn’t wake you up to get it, she can get up and get it herself.” — Pristine-Revolution5
So OP can at least rest assured that he hadn’t acted out of turn on this occasion.
But that doesn’t necessarily stop the next overnight request from coming in anyway.