Part of growing up is realizing that certain things in life are luxuries.
It’s always a very rude awakening when we have to pay our first credit card bill, and do our own laundry for the first time.
In some ways, the sooner people are faced with these realities, the better, as they’ll learn to take responsibility for their own lives much earlier.
As the longer people wait to make their own way in life, the harder they will have to adjust.
Redditor IceCucumbers recently ended a relationship.
Unfortunately, the original poster (OP) was not completely done with this girlfriend, as he was still taking care of one of her finances.
While the OP gave her an ultimatum of sorts, he was a bit hesitant to follow through with it.
Wondering if he was out of line, the OP took to the subReddit “Would I Be The A**hole” (WIBTA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“WIBTA for cancelling my ex-girlfriends phone plan?”
The OP explained why they were eager to cut ties once and for all with their girlfriend:
“So my ex-girlfriend has been with me on a family phone plan that I’ve been paying for for at least a year now.”
“I spoke to the service provider and the only way to remove her from the plan is if she goes and makes a new phone plan for herself or if I flat out cancel her phone line and she looses her phone number.”
“I notified her that she has until the end of this month to do it or I will be cancelling her phone line.”
“Here’s the thing.”
“On a trip a few months ago she lost her wallet and every single form of ID she owns so for her to get a new phone plan she would have to jump through a lot of hoops just to get another piece of ID and credit cards and everything required to open the plan.”
“Part of me thinks she won’t get a new plan in time by the due date I gave her.”
“To be clear, we broke up about a week ago and she was the one who initiated it.”
“We have had this family phone plan for about a year.”
“Sorry if the wording was not clear.”
“I had given her 2 weeks notice and she has not responded.”
“So, WITBA if I cancelled her phone line leaving her with essentially nothing?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community firmly agreed that the OP would not be the a**hole by cutting their ex-girlfriend off their family plan.
Everyone agreed that as the OP’s girlfriend was no longer, nor ever was, family, then she didn’t deserve to be on the family plan, especially considering she ended it, and she clearly needed to start taking responsibility for her own life:
“NTA.”
“If I lost my wallet, i would have a new ID and cards within days.”
“For it to be months is no excuse.”
“Thats laziness or she doesn’t care.”
“Either way, not your problem.”
“I would let text her… the phone will be disconnected on [date].”
“If she needs more time, she needs to Venmo you the cost of another month.”
“Feel free to ask for the last year of payments you have made too.”- RedJerzey
“‘On a trip a few months ago she lost her wallet and every single form of ID she owns so for her to get a new phone plan she would have to jump through a lot of hoops just to get another piece of ID and credit cards’.”
“How has she not replaced all of her ID & credit cards by now?”
“Months later?”
“Not your monkeys, not your circus.”
“NTA.”
“Cancel it.”- RickRussellTX
“You’ve notified her.”
“That’s all you need to do.”
“Stick to what you’ve said you will do.”
“NTA.”- Comfortable_Fun_9872
“She’s had plenty of time to sort out all her ID stuff, not your problem.”
“NTA.”- mailforkev
“It doesn’t matter if she lost her wallet.”
“She will still need to cancel and have reissued everything in the wallet.”
“She is your EX girlfriend.”
“You gave her a time frame, and stick to it.”
“NTA P.S. see a therapist for your self-esteem issues.”- scooby946
“NTA.”
“A few months ago?”
“She should have fixed that issue by now.”
“Not your fault, not your problem.”
“Drop her phone line.”- OrallyObsessed8
“NTA.”
“If she lost her wallet a month ago, she should have already replaced everything by now.”- 1RainbowUnicorn
“She lost her ID months ago and hasn’t thought of replacing it.”
“That’s a her problem.”
“You notified her and she’s had a year to find a new plan.”
“NTA.”- Ok-Owl-1332
“NTA.”
“If she lost her wallet a few months ago that means she’s had a few months to get a new ID and everything.”
“Don’t know where you are, but in the US you can get a pay as you go phone.”
“Don’t need any ID or credit or anything.”- Own-Crazy8086
“NTA.”
“Give her to the end of the month like you said and then cancel the line.”
“As an adult, she should have already got a new ID and CCs.”
“Not your problem at this point.”- invisibleconstructs
“She initiated it?”
“Her new dude can put her on his.”
“NTA.”- imacabooseman
“NTA.”
“I mean even if she lost all her stuff a few months ago, she’s had plenty of time to get replacements.”
“Lots of states allow online ordering of a replacement ID.”
“Do you want to continue contact with her or keep the break up?”
“Having her remain on your plan for a year sounds like you don’t want to let her go.”- jdsav29
“NTA.”
“She lost her ID 2 months ago and still hasn’t replaced it?”
“That’s on her, work out a timeframe to remove her from the account.”
“The end of month or billing cycle would be typical.”
“Does she have a phone financed on this account?”
“It would have to be settled up as well, or you’re paying for that too.”
“Financial responsibilities do not care for your emotional relationships.”
“Loans and bills still have to be paid and on a split the responsibility should also be split.”- Master-Pick-7918
“Did you break up a year ago?”
“Did I read that Right?”
“NTA – You’ve been more than patient enough on that alone, then you’ve given her notice as well which she hasn’t done anything with, which is on her.”- SubjectiveAssertive
“She lost her ID a few months ago and haven’t replaced it yet?”
“She broke up with you last week. “
“I wouldn’t even give her notice.”
“You have no responsibility for her.”
“She clearly has no responsibility at all.”
“NTA.”
“Cancel, block, move on.”- Severe_Feedback_2590
“NTA, but how has she not gotten all of her cards and id replaced?”
“Op said she lost them a few months ago?”- MIMINCR
“NTA.”
“I’ve had my ID stolen.”
“Went and got a new one the next day.”
“Credit cards one week.”
“And some still allow you to use virtual numbers while waiting.”
“She’s has plenty of time.”- Lcdmt3
“NTA.”
“She lost her ID SEVERAL MONTHS AGO, has she quit driving?”
:You can get a replacement CC in a week.”
“You gave her some time, she needs to get it done.”- ocean_lei
“She has had a year, not two weeks.”
“NTA.”- Individual_Metal_983
“NTA.”
“She needs to replace her IDs and credit cards no matter what, and if she lost her wallet a FEW months ago, she has had plenty of time to replace them.”
“I had my wallet stolen and had everything replaced within 2 weeks.”- mm1palmer
“NTA.”
“She can either get a prepaid and port the number or port the number into Google Voice until she can afford a line.”
“A port into Google Voice costs $20, and there is no monthly charge.”- Rubychan11
“NTA.”
“She has to get new ID and credit cards anyway.”
“You warned her and gave her 2 weeks to comply.”
“If she doesn’t, you have no obligation to fund her phone.”- brneyedgrrl
“NTA.”
“You warned her and gave her time.”
“At some point you’ve gotta stop paying for someone who’s not your partner anymore.”- Sad-Celery-3478
“NTA.”
“You provided a timeline that is entirely reasonable.”
“Sure losing your wallet stinks to high hell, but she should have the ability to acquire the necessary ID’s and forms of payment to start an account of her own.”
“Ending a relationship means going your separate ways.”
“And all that that entails.”- Lakewoodian
The fact that the OP would even consider keeping their ex-girlfriend on the family plan to help her out is more than enough evidence of their compassion.
However, seeing as she was the one who wanted to end the relationship, it’s hard to understand why she thinks she should remain on the family plan.
If by sheer chance she does, she should be forever indebted to the OP.
Her lack of financial savvy, however, suggests that she is probably used to being in debt.