Jerseygirl2468Most people have had some sort of roommate drama at some point in their lives.
Redditor SuperNicoRobyn didn’t realize he was living a roommate nightmare until recently.
The Original Poster (OP) was living in ignorant bliss until he and his roommate had some mutual friends over for dinner.
During the lighthearted fun, the OP learned that his roommate was not crossing a boundary, but potentially putting his health at risk too.
This drove the OP to subReddit “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA).
He asked:
“AITA for kicking my roommate out and tossing his stuff in the trash after finding out he messed with my food?”
He went on to explain:
“I [24-year-old Male] have shared an apartment with Andrew [25-year-old Male] for a year.”
“We found this place through some friends, and honestly, everything was pretty chill until this whole thing went down.”
“My name is on the lease and Andrew would just Venmo me his half of the rent, we never had any formal contract between us.”
“We were having dinner with some friends and we were drinking, chillin’ and having fun.”
“One of our mutual friends made a joke about me being very tidy and Andrew being very chaotic, in terms of our rooms, cleaning habits and stuff like that.”
“Our friend asked us if that was a usual problem for us.”
“So for some reason Andrew decided to mention that whenever I’d get ‘too annoying’ about cleaning the apartment or whatever, instead of fighting, he would go and spit on my food.”
“Straight-out spitting. On my food.”
“We were all laughing off but then Andrew went to the kitchen and demonstrated how easy it was to just take one of my prep meals for the week, open it, and spit on it.”
“He did it right there in front of us. We were still laughing, in a what-the-f*ck-is-happening kind of way.”
“After our friends left, Andrew tries to play it off, asking if I’m okay with what he admitted and apologises for it. But I could sense he was dead serious.”
“We ended up having a heated argument, and I was furious. I told him he needed to find another place to stay, and he stormed off to his room, slamming the door behind him.”
“The next morning, he heads off to the gym, and in the meantime, he sends me this long apology text.”
“But when I didn’t respond right away, he loses his cool again, saying he doesn’t regret it (the spitting incident) and even cracks this disgusting joke about messing with my food…”
“…suggesting I avoid eating my ice cream because it’s ‘flavored’ now. Just the thought of it made my stomach turn.”
“So, I wasted no time. While he was out, I gathered up his belongings and tossed them in the trash.”
“Some of my friends think I went too far by throwing away his stuff, but honestly, it felt like my only option. I couldn’t bear the idea of having him around after that.”
“Honestly I’m kinda embarrassed to tell the full story to most of my friends/family, especially mutual friends, I just tell them we had a fight, so I’ve been called an a**hole on more than one occasion.”
“Plus, I’m not the best at getting jokes either. Am I the bad guy here?”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided:
“NTA. He was dumb enough to admit it in a saveable format too. Invite every one of the ‘friends’ giving you grief about this over for a potluck, spit in their food, and tell them to eat it.” – Sebscreen
“NTA, but your tactics could have been better handled.”
“Look, anyone would feel violated finding out their roommate has been defiling their food – that’s a massive breach of trust, health, and decency.”
“Kicking him out is absolutely the right move because who could eat feeling paranoid about their food safety?”
“Yes, throwing his stuff out is technically an overreaction. Legally, it might even be considered vindictive destruction of property.”
“I can’t blame you for acting out of impulse, but it would have been safer to put his belongings aside and tell him to come to get them.”
“Remember, the high ground is yours when you’re the wronged party – until you retaliate in kind.”
“Sometimes, the best revenge is living well, and in this case, living without a disrespectful roommate tampering with your meals.”
“Stay safe, get a lock for your food if needed, and consider this an expensive, but valuable lesson learned on choosing trustworthy housemates.” – JauntyJillian
“Yeah what you did wasn’t legal and will probably get you in trouble, but he admitted (and demonstrated!!)…”
“…both in front of witnesses and in writing that he’s been covertly contaminating/poisoning your food for months.”
“After the last few years of global pandemic one would think the gravity of such an act would have been more obvious to him.”
“NTA simply because the crimes are so staggeringly unequal that I can’t call you an a**.”
“Please contact a lawyer immediately and discuss how to handle this.” – LibraryHaunting
“‘Some of my friends think I went too far by throwing away his stuff, but honestly, it felt like my only option. I couldn’t bear the idea of having him around after that.'”
“Ok your housemate is disgusting and I’d never live or even be an acquaintance with someone like that, but I really don’t get why throwing away his stuff was your only option?”
“You wanted to get revenge, that’s one thing, but don’t present it like your only option in that scenario.”
“You could have told him he was being kicked out, packed his things and leave them at the door if he didn’t do it himself…”
“…but throw away his belongings is a cheap revenge that now makes you an a**hole too and exposes you to legal issues if you threw away something valuable for him…”
“…and he wants to make you pay for this. Next time, handle things in a mature and legal way, don’t let a**holes make you act like one.” – electrolitebuzz
“NTA”
“OMG. He’s an AH, through and through. That’s disgusting and to think he’s probably been sharing spit for maybe a whole year is truly horrifying.”
“Good riddance. Sounds like tit for tat.”
“EDIT: Getting revenge isn’t always the best option.” – LoveBeach8
“Nta”
“Spitting is body fluid. He could have something medically wrong and not know it but transfer it to Op. This is dangerous behavior.”
“Throwing his stuff in the trash was well deserved. He spit in your food. A little trash won’t hurt him. I hope you told him where to find his stuff.” – groovymama98
“NTA”
“But I wouldn’t have tossed the stuff in the trash. Just leave it outside the door or on the curb. What he did was disgusting, and he wasn’t sorry about it at all.”
“If he had an issue with how clean you were compared to him, he should’ve talked to you about it or moved out.” – Glum_Hamster_1076
“I am hesitant to say you’re not the ah because there is no ‘justified ah’ category to my knowledge, yet I am hesitant to say you are.”
“Let’s just say I’d love to be in the courtroom when Andrew is trying to sue you for his stuff, and he has to explain to the judge why you behaved the way you did.” – mifflewhat
“NTA because that is DISGUSTING and such a violation. You shouldn’t have thrown his stuff away though, he could fight you legally on that and probably win some money from you.”
“Booting him out and giving him a set deadline to remove his belongings would have been the better way.” – Jerseygirl2468
“ESH. Mostly him for spitting in your food. That being said, if he lives with you, even without a lease, he may be able to claim tenancy and go after you for a wrongful eviction…”
“…it completely depends on the local Laws. The part where you are an AH is throwing his things away.”
“Even if you can kick him out in the spot, putting this stuff out front would have been the right thing to do.”
“Throwing it away is destruction of property, and if he files a police report, he can go after you for it.” – 777joeb
“I’m almost certain this is a felony, and you can and should report this to the police + press charges.”
“He sent you evidence in writing. Prosecute him to the fullest extent of the law. Maybe then your dumb friends will understand how serious this is.”
“NTA.” – No_Performance8733
“ESH, but Andrew WAY more. What he did was HORRIFYING. But you throwing away his stuff was just escalating, and not likely to resolve anything (and was also ahole behavior).”
“Kick this guy out though 100%. And watch your back while you do it because man, he seems unhinged.” – Sarissa32
“not the a**hole but do know that if he is getting mail and packages at your house and paying you rent. He has squatter’s rights, and you can’t just throw his stuff out.”
“You have to give a notarized 30-day notice to move out. He is petty enough to spit in your food, he is petty enough to make your life hell for the next month or so.” – Key_Transition_6820
Hopefully roomie isn’t smart enough to check his rights.
Things would get interesting if this spat gets within spitting distance of a courtroom.