Anyone who’s ever dreamed of being a parent likely has a list of names they hope to bestow on their future child.
Of course, when that big day finally comes, they might not be able to fulfill that life-long wish to give their child a certain name, owing to the fact that their partner or co-parent has their own set of names.
While some parents come to an easy agreement on what to name their child, other’s have a more difficult time finding common ground.
When the wife of Redditor clint_weaver initially told him that she wanted to name their daughter after her mother, he thought it was a perfect idea, and agreed without hesitation.
However, when the original poster (OP) learned that his wife wanted to give their daughter not her mother’s first name, but rather, her middle name, he had a complete change of heart, and adamantly refused.
Putting some strain on his marriage as a result.
Wondering if he was being unfair or unkind to his wife, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for telling my wife I won’t let her name our daughter after her mother?”
The OP explained he was hapoy to give their daughter his mother-in-law’s first name, but would not allow her to be given his mother-in-law’s middle name.
“For context, I, 32 male, and my wife, 28 female, found out that we are expecting in January of this year.”
“Recently, at one of her ultrasound appointments, we found out that we are having a baby girl.”
“A few nights ago my wife and I began to talk about possible baby names.”
“She mentioned her mother, Ana, and asked me how I would feel if our daughter inherited her name.”
“I told her that I loved that idea, not only because Ana is a pretty name, but because my wife is Puerto Rican and I know how important it would be to her family if we carried on her mother’s name since it has been in the family for ages.”
“I figured that the conversation was over after I agreed, but just last night at dinner my wife brought it up again.”
“She said that she thinks it’s so meaningful that I am letting our daughter have ‘her grandmother’s middle name’.”
“When she said this I was shocked.”
“I had assumed my wife was talking about her mother’s first name, not her middle name.”
“This might not have been a huge deal, but my mother in law’s middle name is—wait for it—Princess.”
“I told my wife that I am sorry, but I don’t want our daughter to be named Princess.”
“Upon hearing this she burst into tears, calling me ‘a disgrace to her family’ and ‘an awful father’ for ‘excluding our kid’.”
“I told her that she was acting crazy, and that I would be fine with the name Ana but Princess is not a name I am comfortable giving our newborn.”
“She’s been avoiding me all day, and I’m starting to wonder if I’m going nuts.”
“I don’t want our kid to be bullied, but family is so important to me and my wife.”
“So, am I the a**hole?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed the OP was not the a**hole for refusing to name his daughter “Princess.”
Everyone agreed the OP had every right to put his foot down not wanting his daughter to be named Princess, with just about everyone agreeing he was saving his unborn daughter from years of scrutiny and ridicule.
“This is the hill to die on.”
“The kid will be teased to death.”- residentcaprice
“DO NOT BACK DOWN!”
“As a teacher with a student named Prince in my class I cannot stress enough that this would be a bad idea for a name.”
“It sets the stage for entitlement and judgement and eye rolling, etc.”
“Ana is a LOVELY name.”
“Seriously, this is a hill to die on.”- meadow_chef
“The Baby Formerly Known as Princess will thank you later for not naming her that.”- Crowmob1
“Ana makes sense.”
“Let’s just say that when Princess gets older she would likely change her name.”
“People see the name ‘Princess’ on a resume and they throw it out.”- Constellation-88
“People forget that kids grow up, can you imagine an adult working in a potentially corporate environment with that name?”
“Kids aren’t dolls or pets.”- CrystalQueen3000
“Princess is a nickname or a family name, you don’t use it as the formal name.”
“Tell your wife that your daughter will be your princess but is absolutely not being named princess.”-zombieqatz
“Kids names are a ‘two yes one no’ kind of thing.”
“And bursting into tears because you didn’t immediately agree to it and insulting you as a father is awfully manipulative.”- bamf1701
“Tell her you can name your daughter Princess as long as your next children are Prince, Lord, Lady, Duchess, Queen.”
“I am suspicious she intentionally was unclear which name she was talking about, knowing that you wouldn’t agree.”
“Get her to post on This Name is a Tragedeigh 2.0 on Facebook and see what people think of it.”
“They’ll flame her endlessly and call her names and then you no longer need to be responsible for crushing her dumb idea.”
“NTA but yes please die on this hill.”- grayfern
“NTA, and for the love of God, do NOT buckle on this!”
“Save your daughter from a lifetime of being bullied!”- IamSh3rl0cked
“My only advice is make sure you are in the room when the birth certificate is filled out.”- kilgirlie
“NTA at all, and you really, really need to stand your ground on this one.”
‘You’re naming a human person who will become an adult. ‘Princess’ is the type of name you give a dog, or- and how could your wife not think of this- EXACTLY the sort of nickname people will call her to imply she’s being sensitive, ‘prissy’ or bossy.”
“It’ll set your child up to be bullied.”
“The name you give your child is a gift, and I can tell you from experience, it may be a gift they choose to get rid of as they get older.”
“If you give your child a name like that, you should be prepared for her to resent it, and get rid of it the moment she’s old enough.”- im_justbrowsing
“You both have to agree on a name it’s not all about her.”
“And yes Princess is a terrible name your child would hate hate you for it.”- dazed1984
“NTA, name your child Ana.”
“If your wife likes ‘Princess’ so much, she can change her own name out of respect.”-DangerLime113
“NTA and in Australia, names that represent royal titles (like Princess) are banned.”- dheffe01
“When you have a child, it’s not your chance to get creative.”
“Your child is a person with an actual identity… not a pet.”
“Naming your child ‘Princess’ is not appropriate.”
“The name of your child should be something both you and your partner agree with and are happy with it.”
“You are definitely not the a**hole and you’re 100% valid.”
“Please do not let your spouse name your child Princess.”- kaden356
“My mom wanted to name me princess.”
“My dad vetoed that.”
“So instead, she just always called me her princess.”
“I would have hated to be named that, but it had a lot of meaning as a term of endearment.”-momof21976
“I’d engage the same conversation later when she is less overwhelmed by emotion, the child is both yours and there was miscommunication or manipulation on her part.”- Salonimo
“I had a little girl named Princess in a class I taught once, when she was 12.”
“She actually liked her name and was annoyed that everyone insisted on calling her by her middle name (something much more common like ‘Sarah’ (fake name)) instead.”
“I wonder how she’s doing.”
“Anyway, NTA.”- mugcupcinnamonroll
“I’d try suggesting girl names that mean princess to your wife as an alternative.”
“Either way stick to your guns on this, OP.”- JumpGlittering8120
“NTA and I agree with all the comments about Princess.”
“What I can’t get past is your wife’s AH behavior after you’d already happily agreed with the first name.”
“I hope that was pregnancy hormones fueling the fire, otherwise wow.”- Easy-Tip-7860
Just about everyone who has a daughter views them as their own “princess”.
Actually naming a child “Princess”, however might be a bit much, and would likely result in some mean spirited jokes from classmates, maybe even teachers.
One has little doubt that the OP’s mother-in-law would be no less touched should her granddaughter be named Ana, and seeing as the OP was very fond of this name, hopefully his wife might have a change of heart as well.