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New Dad ‘Forgets’ To Change Daughter’s Diaper For Nine Hours Because He Was Busy Gaming

Man playing video games
Johner Images/Getty Images

For all the joy that comes with parenting, it also comes with numerous challenges.

Working parents also face the additional challenge of balancing their work life with their home life, and being present for their children, while also keeping them safe and protected.

Which is why it’s important for each parent to divide responsibilities equally.

As when one parent doesn’t pull their weight, the chances of unrest in the household are all but guaranteed.

Redditor 57675997 began to notice that her husband was spending more and more time playing video games.

Something the original poster (OP) hoped wouldn’t be a problem, as her husband promised her it wouldn’t be.

Upon returning home from work one night, however,  the OP discovered that her husband had prioritized his video games over his children, and did not make any attempts to hide her displeasure.

Worried that she might have overreacted, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:

“AITA For my reaction when I got home and found my 6 months old daughter wearing the same diaper for 9 hours?”

The OP shared how her fears about her husband spending too much time playing video games proved to be well founded.

“I (35 F) been busy with work, I’m a nurse, and taking care of my 6 months old baby girl and her 6 years old sister.”

“My husband work night shifts-3 nights a week so he’s usually sleeping at home during the day.”

“He got himself a ps5 a month ago.”

“He started spending time playing.”

“He used to handle some of the house chorus now all he does is make excuses of how tired he is and how much he needs sleep.”

“But he’d come home from his shift and starts playing.”

“He drinks a lot of coffee to stay concentrated and awake.”

“Also he stopped eating properly.”

“Keeps forgetting to do things I ask him to do.”

“Like help fix his daughter’s toys/take turns in changing diapers etc.”

“I started calling my mom to come help since he’s been too busy to do simple things.”

“He didn’t like that I asked others for help and said I didn’t have to.”

“That he’ll start helping again.”

“I actually believed him and left for my 8 hour shift at the hospital and before I left I reminded him of everything he needed to do from feeding/changing diapers/cleaning our daughter’s room etc.”

“He said ‘don’t worry about it’ and then I left.”

“I called him to check on the kids and he said everything was fine.”

“I came home in the evening and I was shocked to see our 6 months old’s bed was put in the living room.”

“Her stuff on the couch.”

“While he was playing.”

“She didn’t stop crying he said he didn’t know what was wrong.”

“Turned out he didn’t change the diaper after I left.”

“She was wearing the same diaper for 9 hours.”

“He said he forgot but he was busy playing.”

“I immediately took care of her.”

“I knew her rash was going to get worse after that.”

‘My 6 year old’s hair was a mess he didn’t brush her hair.”

“The kitchen was a mess.”

“I was livid kept yelling at him for being neglectful and reckless and literally forgetting about his own kids over a game.”

“He said that I was overreacting and that it was my fault for not reminding him on the phone.”

“I told him it was my fault for leaving the kids with someone who doesn’t even brush his teeth.”

“He got offended and left the house minutes later.”

“His mom called me telling me that my husband stays up at night to make a living for his kids and that I was pressuring him by giving him more than he could handle.”

“I tried to explain but she kept lashing out calling me controlling and said I might be frustrated from my job that’s why ‘I’m taking it out on him’.”

“I hung up on her and had to take care of all of that mess.”

Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was in no way the a**hole for being furious with her husband.

Everyone agreed that the OP’s reaction was more than justified, with everyone finding her husband’s behavior irresponsible and neglectful, with many even urging her never to leave her children alone with him ever again, or even stay married to him.


“My first thought was to destroy the PS5.”

“But that’s really not the issue here.”

“The problem is a father who would allow his screaming child to sit in a soiled diaper for hours on end.”

“The problem is a husband who expects his wife, who works outside the home full-time, to come home and handle 100% of the parenting and household responsibilities.”

“You don’t have a partner, you have a third dependent.”

“And an unhygienic one at that.”

Your husband committed child neglect, plain and simple.”

“That’s the biggest concern here, because of course it is, but there are other problems too.”

“I would not leave the children with him again, and if he didn’t want to attend counseling and/or parenting classes, I would be serving him with divorce papers.”

“You deserve a teammate you can depend on.”

“You do not need another person to be responsible for.”- that-1-chick-u-know


“Absolutely inexcusable to leave a child in a soiled diaper for 9+ hours.’


“I would walk away from this man.”

“He can’t even be called a man.”

“He is a child.”

“And his mom can take him in if she’s so concerned.”

“You and your children deserve better.”- Leolover812

“NTA, your husband isn’t a competent father and is blaming you for it.”- drseussgrandchild


“He was neglectful of two children.”

“One an infant.”

“No excuse for his behavior.”

“If I were him, I’d be less worried about your reaction and more worried about divorce.”-wickedlucky214


“Your husband is neglecting your child in favor of video games.”

“Ask your Mom to babysit again, and tell him he either takes a childcare class and does couple’s counseling with you or you’re walking.”

“Keep record of this incident in case you do end up visiting the divorce lawyer.”

“If his mom typed any of this out over text or email, hold on to those.”- 0biterdicta


‘However YWBTA if you leave your children with him again.”

‘What he did is neglect and that’s how CPS gets involved.”

‘This is a come to Jesus moment.”

“If he wants to be trusted to care for the children then they have to come first not dead last.”

“I’m assuming he was able to feed himself and use the restroom throughout the day so he is capable of prioritizing his needs when he recognizes them.”

“He isn’t forgetting your children’s needs he simply isn’t prioritizing them because they aren’t important to him!”

“Please do what’s best for your kids.”

“I hope things look up for you OP.”- fluffybunnies57


“LOL at him running to his mommy to pick on you.”

“What a winner.”

“Too bad.”

“He’s negligent.”

“Imo, you need to take over and take your kids to your mother’s home or wherever there are responsible people.”

“I’m thinking he doesn’t want your mother looking after the kids at your home because he’s gaming and doesn’t want to be bothered.”

“His actions and reactions prove he’s not fit to take care of your young children.”- WaDaEp


“He sounds like he’s addicted to his games.”

“And your MIL needs to mind her own business.”

“She’d probably be on your side if she got the whole story.”

“Yes, he stays up nights to provide for his family.”

“You work just as hard.”

“He also agreed to have children and lives at the house, so he’s responsible for childcare and housework too.”

“I’m sorry you’re dealing with this.”- KatJen76


“If my husband did this him and his ps5 would be out the door.”- Acceptable_Letter331


‘I think you need to really sit down and realize that your children are not safe with their father.”

“Read that again.”

“Your children are not safe alone with your husband.’

“In other words, you need to sort out your priorities, and your priorities need to be first your children, then yourself, and then on a distant third, your husband.”

“His mother can go to hell.”

“You need to document this incident.”

“Take your daughter to her doctor to document the rash.”

“Text your husband what he did and get him to admit it in writing, then screenshot it.”

“The call a lawyer.”

“Let me reiterate the main point here.”

“Your husband cannot be trusted with your children.”

‘You owe it to your children and yourself to get that man out of your lives until such a time that he has admitted what he did, shown remorse, apologized, started therapy, and shown that he can be trusted over a longer period of time.”

“Only after he has completed all these steps, at the earliest by next Christmas or so, can you decide whether to accept him back in your life.”

“My bet?”

‘If you put your foot down, and refuse to baby him anymore, I think you will find that your life becomes so much better without him as your partner.”

“My bet is that if you throw him out, you will find you don’t want him back.”

“He’s not a partner to you, he makes your life infinitely worse than it needs to be.”

“You deserve better.”

“Your children deserve better.”- KeyFly3

It’s hard to think of anything which excuses not changing your infant’s diaper for nine hours.

But playing video games certainly isn’t one of them.

Considering the OP’s husband works night shifts, one also can’t help but wonder how much he cares about his own health, playing video games all day.

Leaving one to think that it might very well be in the OP’s best interest to never leave him alone with her children ever again.

Written by John Curtis

A novelist, picture book writer and native New Yorker, John is a graduate of Syracuse University and the children's media graduate program at Centennial College. When not staring at his computer monitor, you'll most likely find John sipping tea watching British comedies, or in the kitchen, taking a stab at the technical challenge on the most recent episode of 'The Great British Baking Show'.