in , , ,

Woman Calls Out Dad For Expecting Her To Take ‘Navy Showers’ At His House To Save Water

A woman taking a shower.
Ake Ngiamsanguan/Getty Images

When hosting guests in your home, you always want them to feel as welcome as possible.

Gracious guests, however, normally adhere to certain household rules and regulations when staying at someone else’s home.

Unless some household rules are just a little too strange to tolerate.

The father of Redditor Gollumthegrey22 grew up with a rather unusual rule in his house that he did not particularly enjoy.

Making it all the more surprising to the original poster (OP) that he actually enforced this rule upon her and her family during a recent visit.

Surprised and confused by this change of heart, the OP could not contain herself in expressing how ludicrous she found this rule.

Worried she might have stepped out of line, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:

“AITA: Navy Showers at Parent’s House”

The OP explained why she couldn’t keep her mouth shut about a rule her father imposed upon her family during a recent visit:

“I (33 F[emale]) am married to my husband (42 M[ale]).”

“We have two young boys under 5 and live out of state from my parents.”

“It’s about a three-hour drive to their house, and we visit fairly often.”

“They have a larger home in a beautiful neighborhood, and they have very well-paying jobs.”

“Since we have young kids, we often stay for the whole weekend.”

“My dad (58 M) is ex-military and grew up taking ‘Navy Showers’ as he calls them.”

“My grandfather always made my dad and his brothers, as well as anyone else who stayed at their house, take them as well.”

“It’s essentially a regular shower except you turn the water off when you’re soaping yourself up and shampooing your hair.”

“So you’ll turn the water on to start the shower then turn the water off to soap up and shampoo your hair and then turn the water back on to rinse off.”

“My grandfather always said it saved tons of water and was efficient.”

“Growing up, I always thought it was ridiculous because it just meant you were standing there freezing while the water was off for half your shower.”

“My dad always rolled his eyes over it too.”

“Just this past weekend though, he told my husband and I that we needed to start taking navy showers when we visited.”

“He said my husband takes too long of a shower while he’s there, and it’s wasting water, so he wants us both to do them.”

“He and my mom both shower that way every day because he believes it saves water and is better for their septic system.”

“It should be noted that my husband is not taking long, luxurious showers for fun.”

“He is balding and shaves his head in the shower every morning to prevent stubble.”

“His showers are roughly 20 minutes long and again, it’s because he has to shave his head.”

“Anyway, my dad told us this and we both politely said okay.”

“However, later in the day he brought it up again and I told him I thought it was a little ridiculous to stand in a freezing shower without water just to save, at most, 2 minutes worth of water.”

“Not to mention my husband would be turning the water on and off every time he needed to rinse his razor.”

“My dad just repeated that we, but especially my husband, takes too long of a shower.”

“He claims my husband takes 30-45 minute showers while he’s there.”

“I explained that my husband has never taken that long of a shower and that it’s a little weird to be monitoring the length of our showers.”

“I told him that it makes us both, but especially my husband, feel awkward and we both feel like we are being judged.”

“He wouldn’t budge and just repeated he wanted us to shower that way while at his house because he believed it was better.”

“We, of course, respected what he said and did the navy showers this weekend.”

“It should also be noted that we all live in the Midwest and it was 12 degrees out this weekend with snow and they keep their house at 67 in the winter so standing in a shower when you’re completely wet without the water running really sucks.”

“My parents are well off so it’s not a money issue either.”

“I don’t mention them being well off to say that, therefore, money doesn’t matter.”

“I just wanted to provide context.”

“AITA or is it actually a ridiculous request?”

Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

The Reddit community generally agreed that the OP was not the a**hole calling out her father for his “Navy Showers” rule.

Many agreed that the OP had every right to call her father out on what they agreed was a ridiculous rule, with some urging the OP to seek alternate accommodations or avoid visiting altogether to avoid this rule, even if not everyone bought the necessity of the OP’s husband taking a 20-minute shower.

“’Dad, this is how normal people shower’.”

“‘If you want us to visit you we need to be able to take regular showers’.”

“‘We will give you $20 each time we visit to go toward your water bill’.”

“‘$20 is more than enough’.”

“‘If it’s not about the money, then it’s about control’.”

“‘I’m not a child and you will not control my showers’.”

“‘If I can’t shower like I need to, we will not stay with you or visit you ever again’.”

“‘We aren’t taking navy showers. Not at your house nor anywhere else’.”

“NTA.”- Katiew84

“NTA.”

“Stop visiting, or stay in a hotel.”

“Considering that your father is well-off, his demand makes him an a**hole.”

“If he asks why you aren’t visiting or are staying in a hotel, tell him ‘because you’re a sh*tty host’.”- Hegemonic_Smegma

“NTA.”

“And this is a ridiculous rule for well-off people to impose on house guests.”

“If it were me, I wouldn’t continue to stay at their home.”

“It sounds more like an issue of control than of economy.”

“Having said that… I will add that a man taking a 20-minute shower daily because he ‘has’ to shave his head in the shower is beyond ridiculous to me.”

“Shave your head at the sink and take the 5-10 minute non-Navy shower that other average humans do.”- MadameAllura

“NTA.”

“But you either do it, don’t visit or stay at a hotel.”

“It’s that simple because, like it or not, it’s their house.”- Disastrous-Nail-640

“NTA.”

“I would tell them they are welcome to have rules, but if this is a house rule we won’t be visiting anymore.”- myshellly

“NTA.”

“But what is your husband doing to take a 20-minute shower when he has no hair?”

“Is he just standing under the water for 15 minutes then washing for 5?”- geoff5093

Others, however, felt the OP had every right to enforce his “Navy Shower” rule in his own home, while also agreeing the OP didn’t have to approve of it, with some unsure if they supported both of them or neither of them.

“My husband shaves his head at the sink when he shaves his face – has a handy mirror.”

“Then he takes his shower which gets his head rinsed off.”

“No need to run the water for 20 minutes.”

“That is excessive!”

“That said, if you don’t like your parents’ house rules, don’t stay at their house.”

“NAH.”- Ok_Illustrator5694

“NAH.”

“But stop kidding yourself that your husband isn’t taking ‘Hollywood’ showers (it’s what we called em in the Navy).”

“There are totally times that I take a twenty-minute shower, but I don’t kid myself that I’m not soaking up the hot water for half of that.”- Octarine42

“ESH/NAH, I can’t decide which.”

“On the one hand it’s ridiculous making guests take one of these ‘Navy’ showers, freezing standing there between rinses.”

“On the other, your husband absolutely does not need to shave his head every single day.”- Existing-Zucchini-65

“Honestly, he can skip shaving his head for a couple of days.”

“The dad is likely being a bit much, but it seems to be something that can be easily adapted and should just be accepted as a quirk.”

“NAH.”- TheTightEnd

A select few had trouble sympathizing with the OP, or her husband and his 20-minute showers:

“YTA that is way too long of a shower if they have a septic system.”

“You are both highly inconsiderate.”- NeverGiveUpPup

“He believes it saves water and is better off for the septic system because it does use less water and it is better for the septic system.”

“That you would phrase it like that’s just some crazy conspiracy theory he believes is wild.”

“If your father has decided that conserving water is this much of a priority, it’s his house, I’d hope you can find a way to honor his wishes or try to find a compromise.”

“I would guess this is being driven by some bill shock due to your husband’s showers as well as the kids.”

“Adding 4 people is a lot, especially when one of them takes excessively long showers (and 30 minutes is very excessive).”

“I’ll also chime in as someone who shaves their head – absolutely no reason it needs to be done in the shower, that’s ridiculous.”

“Even if it did, head shaving doesn’t take that long.”

“I feel wasteful when I forget to tap the faucet off between rinsing the razor, and here your husband is dumping gallons because he can’t rinse his head in the sink like a normal person.”

“YTA.”- thirdelevator

The OP has every right to feel the way she feels about the idea of “Navy Showers”.

But if it puts her father’s mind at ease and leads him to believe he’s reducing the use of water in his home, probably best to just let things be.

Particularly as she was willing to go along with it in the end.

Written by John Curtis

A novelist, picture book writer and native New Yorker, John is a graduate of Syracuse University and the children's media graduate program at Centennial College. When not staring at his computer monitor, you'll most likely find John sipping tea watching British comedies, or in the kitchen, taking a stab at the technical challenge on the most recent episode of 'The Great British Baking Show'.