Keeping a shared home clean is a two-way street.
Unfortunately, many people’s expectations of the other person–as well as their own behavior-don’t all line up.
As a recent post on the “Am I the A**hole (AITA)” subReddit illustrated, that impasse can lead to some heat.
The Original Poster (OP), known as throwaway58895 on the site, came straight out with the deets in the title.
“AITA for telling my husband I’ll dispose of my feminine products when he wipes better?”
As for the post itself, OP began by ironing out the overall dynamic in the house.
“I’m a housewife, my husband works a 9-5, so I take care of the house all day, laundry, dishes, kids, etc.”
Then OP launched into specifics.
“I just had a baby so I’m still bleeding and I can’t wear tampons (I can’t wear tampons anyway because I have a tilted cervix) so I wear pads.”
“When I change my pad, I wrap it in toilet paper and usually the wrapper that the other one came in but sometimes just toilet tissue.”
Hubby was less than thrilled.
“My husband always tells me it’s really gross when he goes to the bathroom and can see the bloody tissue that my pad is wrapped in and he doesn’t need to see that.”
And apparently, that all became too much one day.
“We got in a fight about it with him telling me it’s disgusting to see the blood and no one needs to know I’m ‘on my period’ which I’m not on my period, I’m bleeding from birthing a baby.”
“I told him I would start disposing of my pads the way he wants me to when he learns how to wipe better and I don’t have to scrub sh** stains out of his boxers.”
The fight had staying power.
“He told me I was out of line and has slept in the guest room the last couple nights.”
“AITA?”
As responses flooded in, OP felt the need to clarify one thing.
“Edit to add: we have a trashcan with a lid but our dog recently broke it trying to get into the trash. I ordered another on Amazon but it hasn’t come yet, and I don’t have a car to go get one myself.”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
A clear majority of Redditors were completely on OP’s side. And they did not hold back when sharing that viewpoint.
“You married somebody who can’t wipe fully? Maybe time to invest in a bidet but if he is afraid of seeing period blood I can’t imagine how afraid his fragile mind would be at the thought of something touching his butthole.” — TitanBarnes
“NTA. You’re dealing with a newborn, a house, other kids, lochia and this AH thinks that your bloody pads are offensive? Homie, if you can’t handle lochia and bloody pads, you aren’t ready to have the sex and make babies. He can eff right off.” — QuirkyFunUsername
“Hahaha ‘Hey skid mark, I’ll hide my pads when you wipe your a** better!’ “
“NTA You just had a baby and you are wrapping up your pads. Does he expect you to use an entire roll of TP just in case the blood seeps through? Or does he want you to make a trip outside to the garbage pail each and every time?” — Saraqael_Rising
“NTA. And stop scrubbing his underwear. He can wear the evidence of his inability to clean himself” — Moorehadley
“NTA and your response was fu**ing hilarious.”
“Your husband needs to grow tf up. Your body doing what it’s supposed to is not gross. Not wiping your a** is gross.” — AmnesiA_sc
Others spoke from a place of shared frustration.
“NTA this is really boiling my blood. So not only you gave birth to his child but poor little guy can’t see a bit of blood ? You were absolutely on point.”
“You taking pad putting into bin is you doing things correctly fu** the lid or if the bin is broken, he is on the other side ducking guy who is walking whole day with sh** stains in his pants.”
“I would toss his underwear to his face to tell him to clean his shit himself. Ok I am bit dramatic here. But yeah you just suffered rip opened down there god forbid you would bleed a bit.” — Findaria
“NTA. Your routine is similar to what my SO does and it hasn’t bothered me from day 1. I understand if blood bothers him, but he needs to approach it far more maturely than proclaiming ‘it’s gross,’ ESPECIALLY since this is partially his fault :P” — DocChloroplast
“NTA – he should stop acting like bodily functions don’t exist, and should definitely be more sensitive to your situation.” — pir4tesB00ty
“ ‘He was cool and wasn’t an a**hole until I popped out a kid for him’ ”
“My husband was the worst when I was postpartum. I called it paternal postpartum depression. He was meaner to me. More aggressive. He goaded me and made me feel like sh**.”
“Turned out he had a lot of inadequacy issues and trauma from his parents being a abusive to each other that were triggered by having a kid. He never went for help beyond a few sessions but it got better.”
“I hope you can find a way to talk it out. It’s definitely more than seeing period blood.”
“NTA by the way. I can relate to having to deal with this sort of attitude. Hope it gets better. Reallly.” — Fearless_Act_3698
“Definitely not the AH Jeez, if I skid marked, I’m not letting my wife find out about it. Out of sense of some danged shame. Let alone her clean it…..I’d die of embarrassment.”
“Mean, you don’t complain about things when you do stuff like that, unless you are ready to get called out. Like, that’s only too perfect. He earned getting called out.” — CrispyFlint
Here’s hoping this incident alone is enough to keep OP’s daily life poop-free.