Is there anything more stereotypical in a relationship than sharing food? Whether you enjoy it or complain about your significant other stealing your fries, it’s bound to come up.
Redditor throwradinner3455 experienced an issue with her fiancé when it comes to sharing food. After an argument, she threw out her food causing an even bigger fight.
The original poster (OP) asked the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit if she was wrong to throw her food out instead of give it to her significant other.
She wondered:
“AITA For refusing to apologize for throwing away my dinner instead of letting my fiance have it?”
Why wouldn’t she let him have it? Here’s why:
“I f22 have been with my fiance m20 for 2 years and recently got engaged. I handle cooking while he takes care of other stuff including rent and utility.”
“He’s been eating a lot lately I started cooking in large pots and buying extra ingredients. He usually tells me what he’d like to eat for dinner.”
“Note I only cook dinner 3 times a week. Other than that we have plenty of leftovers.”
“So onto the situation. Last night I cooked dinner early because he wanted to eat early. I prepared his plate and put my plate in the fridge ready to reheat for later.”
“I was finished with studying and took a shower than went into the kitchen to reheat my dinner and sat at the table by myself and began eating.”
“My fiance came out of the bedroom saying he smelled the food while he was inside playing video games and thought of joining me because he was hungry. Without even asking, he put his hand on my plate wanting to eat from it.”
“I stopped him and told him he was being selfish as he already had his (a larger portion of what cooked) dinner and the food on my plate was barely enough for me. He complained about being hungry from playing video games, I told him I was hungry because of studying.”
“He made a face and went to grab a spoon so we could eat together. I pulled my plate away and pointed at the fridge telling there was some leftovers in the fridge and he could go ahead and reheat some if he was so hungry.”
This is where things get so much worse:
“He refused and insisted to share my dinner. I stood my ground and didn’t let him. He got all pissed, threw his spoon in the sink and spit in my plate.”
“I was 100% taken by surprise and was so livid and disgusted. I shouted what the f** did he just do. He just smirked at me telling me to enjoy as he walked out.”
“I called him f*king childish and he turned around and walked back in saying I was the one acting like a high school bully for refusing to let him share my dinner and telling him to ‘just’ have leftovers.”
“I said he was being selfish and pretty to spit in my plate to stop me from eating and he managed to do it. I was so upset and I couldn’t eat what was in my plate. It was gross and disgusting.”
“I threw it in the garbage can.”
“And he threw another fit asking why I threw away perfect food and he was counting on me giving it to him after he spit on it. We had a major fight…probably the biggest fight we’ve ever had thus far.”
“He says I was wrong, I escalated and wants me to apologize first so we could put this past us but I said no way I’d apologize after he ruined my dinner and disregarded the time and effect I made to prepare dinner.”
On the AITA board, users explain their story and what they did, and ask the titular question to find out if they acted like a jerk.
To figure this out, the other users vote by commenting one of the following:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
The other commenters couldn’t believe how selfish the fiancé was acting. Even if one were to imagine OP was wasting food by throwing it out, her significant other’s actions were beyond reasonable.
This is the thoughts behind everyone voting that OP was NTA:
“NTA. Why are you with this person? He both treats you like a maid while he also acts like a spoiled child.” – macaroni_rascal42
“He’s already eaten and he’s hungry from playing video games? You’re wanting to marry a child. A child that is selfish enough to ruin your meal because he feels entitled to it.”
“DO NOT WALK, RUN AWAY. You have got to see this as a sign. This will NOT get better over time.”
“You are NTA, just a hungry person that’s tired of babysitting and looking for confirmation.”
“Hope your ‘plans’ can still be canceled.” – cjax920
“NTA. This is insane. The exact same food was available, he just had to get it.”
“Instead spit in your food AND got mad you didn’t give him it to him afterwards? It doesn’t sound like he was too busy to reheat a plate of food… playing video games”
“He treats you like I would expect a spoiled little kid to treat their mom. Definitely not an attitude I’d consider spending the rest of my life with.” – bartkurcher
A number of commenters were wondering why OP was even planning to marry this man:
“NTA and i sincerely hope that you have already broken up with this man. do not tie your life to his.” – KhalDrogHeaux
“NTA. Please dont marry him. He SPIT in your plate???? Seriously WTF.”
“He tried to manipulate you into having his way and he clearly has no regards for you or your feelings. That’s a whole lot of red flags there.” – amaralove123
“NTA”
“But you’d be foolish to marry this boy. This is a person who will destroy something of yours in order to then steal it from you.” – Sweeper1985
OP hasn’t updated her post, so we don’t know how she handled the fallout from their argument. But if the fiancé doesn’t see reason or learn to not be so selfish, it may be in OP’s best interest to leave.