in , , , ,

New Mom Balks After Sister-In-Law Shames Her Post-Birth Food Choices And Weight Gain

Two women argue while sitting on the couch
stefanamer/Getty Images

No one needs the diet police.

But that does not stop people from interfering in other people’s culinary choices.

And that can cause quite a lot of issues.

Case in point…

Redditor FullFatFood wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

She asked:

“AITA for not eating what was made for me as it was served?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“I gave birth two months ago, and everyone says I should be eating less because I’m not eating for two anymore.”

“But I’m actually hungrier now than I was before.”

“My S[ister] I[n] L[aw] said she was also really hungry after giving birth, but says it’s your body tricking you and you have to ignore it.”

“She said to be careful because I’m much shorter than she is and will gain weight faster.”

“She offered to bring me some food to help out.”

“Yesterday, she brought over lunch for everyone, and it was a salad.”

“I was pretty hungry because I hadn’t eaten since breakfast, so I added boiled eggs from the fridge and some cheese.”

“My SIL said I turned her low-fat meal into a fatty one and defeated the point of her bringing food over for me.”

“She pointed out that my husband, who is taller and more muscular than me, didn’t add anything to his lunch.”

“I said I was hungry, so I had to add things.”

“She was upset and left.”

“My husband thinks I should have just eaten the salad as it was and eaten a snack afterward so as not to hurt her feelings.”

“Maybe he’s right, and I was ungrateful.”

“But when I’m hungry, I want to eat what I want.”

“So AITA?”

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

“NTA. If you’re breastfeeding, that takes a tremendous amount of calories.”

“That is why you’re hungry.”

“I’m bordering on need more info, but if it’s just like she’s casually bringing you food to help you out, then NTA.”

“Edit: yikes, I didn’t think this would be that hot of a take.”

“Just an explanation as this has been catapulted to the top…”

“I mainly wanted to say this as I don’t think people who haven’t had any children realize how much energy it takes to breastfeed, especially after the mother’s body essentially goes through a completely life-altering change.”

“If OP wasn’t sure why she was more hungry, and if that is normal, that is why, and it’s normal.”

“I only was thinking about asking for info if, I don’t know, maybe OP asked for a very specific meal or something, and then she altered it for in front of her.”

“Still wouldn’t be the AH, as no one should dictate what anyone else eats, so really, I should’ve just left that out.”

“Thanks all.” ~ Bohottie

“Depends on how much the baby is eating.”

“Breastfeeding hunger is insane, and restricting calories can cause a person to stop producing milk.”

“People who are breastfeeding are not candidates for calorie restriction.”

“I was told this by a dietitian.” ~ 52BeesInACoat

“Yes… it’s the control over her body that’s disturbing.”

“Sounds like the SIL is one of those helper types who will want credit for having saved her from herself.”

“What SIL is worried about is physical appearance and weight loss.”

“Regaining your body’s balance after childbirth has nothing to do with vanity.”

“Only you know what you feel like, and it’s nobody’s business what you eat while nursing and bouncing back from birth.” ~ spiritualskywalker

“After I had my first child and was breastfeeding, I couldn’t understand why I felt like I was starving all the time.”

“I would eat, but I would always feel hungry.”

“I didn’t realize that I was sustaining the life of a much bigger baby, but it was outside my body.”

“If I brought a new mom a salad and she added cheese and egg to it, I would make a mental note so I could make sure I make the food she wants.”

“SIL is being ridiculous and making this situation all about her.”

“New moms need support, and SIL is being dramatic.”

“Also, OP’s husband is being a jerk by not being more sensitive to the new mom.”

“You should show him this post so he can learn to be a more supportive husband.”  ~ das_whatz_up

“Regardless of how many calories are required to breastfeed, regardless of whether or not she is breastfeeding, feeling physically hungry is a pretty good sign she should eat some food.”

“Believing your body is ‘tricking’ you, or that every calorie consumed must be justified, can be a gateway to disordered eating.”

“Even if she does gain weight, her body just built and pushed out a human, for whom she’s responsible; her weight doesn’t need to be her (or anyone else’s) primary concern right now.” ~ QuokkasMakeMeSmile

“Add also the added activity, and some people also see a rise in base metabolic rate.”

“And caring for a newborn is basically an all-day long low weight high rep workout.”

“You’re constantly lifting the baby, bending to change diapers, clean baby, etc.”

“It might be true that you ‘only’ need 300-500 calories to produce the milk, depending on the volume of production.”

“But that’s a single data point in isolation of the entire picture.”

“I was a massive overproducer.”

“My older two nursed from the tap, and my supply eventually regulated.”

“My youngest was a 504g micro and never learned to latch.”

“My body thought I’d given birth to the Miami Dolphins’ defensive line.”

“I produced, on average, 1.5-2 gallons per day, even with trying to limit production by scheduling pumping sessions and restricting the amount of time pumping.”

“I could not physically eat enough to satisfy my hunger and dropped alarming amounts of weight.”

“OP needs to eat what feels good to eat.”

“Her baby will be a newborn for such a short time.”

“She does not need to give one single care to meeting some aesthetic standard society tries to demand.” ~ Particular-Studio-32

“NTA. OP, talk to your husband.”

“He needs to address his family and tell them that what you eat or don’t is none of their business, and they need to back off.”

“Unless you’re in an unhealthy weight bracket, what they’re saying is pointless.”

“You should be following your body’s cravings, especially if you’re nursing.”

“I always lost weight while breastfeeding and no one was controlling what I eat.” ~ crystallz2000

“In addition to breastfeeding, your body just went through something HUGE.”

“You are still recovering.”

“If it wants food, listen.”

“Weight loss should really not be the first priority after giving birth, and it’s mostly just our f**ked culture that makes people think it should.”

“You’re not gonna change your SIL’s mind about this.”

“Probably that comment about your height and who will gain more weight sounds like an ugly kind of competitive mind game to me or, at best, some projection of her own body image problems.”

“But you don’t have to let her try to put you on a diet.”

“If at some point you decide you’d like to lose weight, you can worry about that then.”

“You have more than enough to handle as it is. NTA.” ~ mwmandorla

“Also, make sure you’re properly hydrated.”

“Being properly ‘fed and watered’ makes such a difference.”

“So, did your SIL just bring you a salad, i.e., lettuce, etc.?”

“No protein and carbs?”

“If so, no wonder you added hard-boiled eggs and cheese to it, good grief!”

“She seems a little too involved in what YOU are putting in YOUR body – and your husband is also TA for putting her feelings before your needs.”

“Absolutely NTA.” ~ mrs_spanner

“I’m currently breastfeeding.”

“Lost half my pregnancy weight immediately after birth and then gained about ten back.”

“Baby is six months old, and I finally feel like I’m a little less hungry.”

“Any time I tried cutting calories, my supply would decrease.”

“The stress they are going to cause you could decrease your supply too.”

“They are so f**king rude for even commenting on it.”

“You need to tell your husband he can step up and s**t his family down, or his family can stay away until you are at a weight they seem acceptable.”  ~ Banditsmisfits

“NTA, but your SIL is ignorant of postpartum nutritional needs.”

“You need more calories if you are breastfeeding than you need during pregnancy.”

“This is intuitively obvious because you’re still providing 100% of the infant’s calories, and the infant is now bigger than she was during pregnancy.”

“The mechanism of feeding is different, but the need for calories is the same.”

“You can google the increased calories needed, but I wouldn’t worry about it too much.”

“Sounds like SIL just has an unfortunate combination of confident ignorance and a possible eating disorder.”  ~ Consistent_Ad_4828

“THIS! OP, anyone who is telling you that your body is ‘tricking’ you while you are literally feeding and entire other person from your body is an idiot.”

“Listen to your body. It will tell you what it needs.”

“Sounds like SIL has some issues of her own to work out.”

“NTA, OP!” ~ GlitteringCoyote1526

Well, OP, sounds like Reddit is with you.

Your body, your choices.

You gotta eat. Everybody does.

Perhaps everyone’s focus should be on the little one’s healthy appetite and far away from yours!

Good luck with your little one and with your SIL.