Honesty is always the best policy… most of the time.
Even though it’s ingrained in us never to tell lies and always speak the truth, sometimes fibbing or telling little white lies is the right thing to do.
As sometimes telling the truth, or expressing how we really feel can hurt the feelings of others.
And these fabrications won’t have long-term, negative effects, it is better for people to be happy and lied to than being hurt by honest opinions.
Redditor AcidentalPhilosopher recently held a dinner party for a group of friends.
While there was an overall positive response to the food, one particular guest didn’t hold back his honest opinions of the original poster (OP)’s cooking.
Eventually, the OP had enough and gave this friend an ultimatum.
After being called “petty” for doing so, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for making my friend walk home after he insulted my cooking?”
The OP explained how one of his friends ended up taking a long, lonely walk home after a recent dinner party he hosted:
“I (27 M[ale]) hosted a small dinner at my place for a few friends last weekend.”
“I’m no professional chef, but I enjoy cooking, and I spent hours prepping a nice meal.”
“Everyone seemed to like it, except for my friend ‘Mark’ (28 M[ale]).
“From the moment he sat down, Mark kept making little comments like, ‘Did you forget to season this?’ or ‘This is why I stick to takeout’.”
“At first, I laughed it off, but he wouldn’t stop.”
“Eventually, he said something like, ‘Man, even a frozen pizza would’ve been better than this’.”
“That was the last straw for me.”
“I told him, ‘If you hate it so much, maybe you should just leave’.”
”He laughed, thinking I was joking, but I wasn’t. I made it clear he wasn’t welcome to stay if he was going to keep insulting me.”
“He ended up leaving, but since he didn’t drive, he had to walk home (about 20 minutes).”
“Now, a few friends are saying I overreacted and that kicking him out was too harsh, while others think he deserved it.”
“Mark texted me later, calling me ‘petty’ and saying I made him feel humiliated.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community firmly stood behind the OP, agreeing that he was not the a**hole for giving his friend the option to leave.
Everyone agreed that the OP did nothing petty, as he did not force his friend to leave, nor did he make him walk home, with many urging the OP that he might need different friends:
“NTA.”
“You didn’t make him walk home.”
“You asked him to leave because he was being rude to you in your home.”
“He could have gotten an Uber, taken the bus, or asked one of your other friends to drive him home.”
“Sounds like he walked on purpose to make it more dramatic and get more sympathy for a situation he put himself in.”- Luxecurves_
“NTA.”
“Mark needs to look in a mirror.”
“He was humiliating you with his comments.”
“He chose to walk so he can play the victim.”
“The fact your friends backed him tells me you need better friends all round.”-Mean_Environment4856
“NTA.”
“I can’t stand nasty people who just think no one notices.”
“Lose him.”- Final-Context6625
“NTA.”
“Even if you don’t like the food, you say thank you and eat it if you can.”
“You don’t make the host feel bad for trying or make jokes about it.”
“He should be apologizing, not you.”
“‘I had to walk for 20 minutes’ who feels bad for someone having to do that?”
“Maybe if they were physically disabled but you never said they were.”- SockMaster9273
“NTA.”
“Nope.”
“F*ck that.”
“Protect yourself, your home, your expectations of respect in your orbit.”
“Not only should you tell him to go f*ck himself and enjoy his takeout from now on, but the friends who think you overdid it should also be invited to f*ck right off and enjoy Mark’s takeout with him.”
“Very few, if any, of these friends will still be your friends in 20 years.”
“People come and go from lives; Mark doesn’t sound like he’s worthy of the effort.”
“Life’s too f*cking short to put up with people… especially the ones who feel a little too invited to sh*t all over your efforts.”
“A simple ‘Thanks, man’ is enough. 2 weeks later, he can tell you he didn’t love it over a beer and not in a crowd.”
“You’d have both laughed it off.”
“He’s the a**hole here.”- Additional_Effect_51
“I’m more concerned about the people who think a 20-minute walk is harsh.”
“Either way NTA.”
“Mark was being rude, and if it was really that bad, a single comment to you privately would have sufficed.”- S_H_O_U_T
“YOU made HIM feel humiliated?”
“HA .. NTA.”
“There is only so much one can or should take when being disrespected in their own home.”
“A shame that the 20-minute walk home didn’t allow Mark to reflect on how his actions caused such a consequence.”- MsMollyMittens
“NTA.”
“And the friends who agree with Mark can be disinvited from friendly meals in the future along with Mark.”- IAmTAAlways
“NTA!”
“Mark chose to walk home; he had options, and he chose to walk.”
“I am glad you asked him to leave.”
“Mark is a giant AH.”
“I have been invited to dinners before where I was not wowed by the food.”
“I would ‘never’ say that out loud to the host, I would thank them and be gracious.”
“I would then complain about it to my husband in the car on the way home like a normal person.”-bluecirc
“NTA.”
“FWIW, I did the same thing to my in-laws a few years back — but they are senior citizens, and I called them a cab, and it was 20 years in coming.”
“Life is too short to have people throw sh*tbombs at you in your own home.”
“Well done.”- OkraLegitimate1356
“NTA.”
“One comment, okay joke.”
“Two comments, being boorish but just ignore.”
“On the third, since he apparently had some need to keep on about the cooking, inviting him to leave was the only reasonable result.”
“If you have that much need to insult your host and feel that the food that everyone else is eating with no problem or complaint is so below your standards, you need to go.”
“Period.”
“Mark is being a total drama queen here.”- WinginVegas
“NTA.”
“Mark is no friend.”
“Rude guests with no manners do not get invited back.”- Cfwydirk
“NTA.”
“There are a few folks in my group (including me, maybe) that are serious cooks.”
“I’m trying to imagine someone invited to eat and bitching about the food and still leaving under their own power.”
“Invited into your home and just decides to be an ungrateful, attention-starved brat.”
“A joker/prankster is just another kind of brat.”
“He walked 20 minutes?”
“Poor baby.”
“How long did you spend cooking?”
“Seriously, take him and whoever agrees with him and set them firmly down on the outside of the friend line.”- thesilveringfox
“You made HIM feel humiliated?”
“How on earth does he think you felt while consistently insulting your cooking?”
“NTA.”
“You gave him a choice, to shut up or leave.”
“His choice was leaving.”
“Now, ideally, you would both sit down, discuss how his ‘jokes’ made you feel, he would apologize, and you would say that you were sorry that he also felt humiliated.”
“However, in this case, it kinda sounds like you need new friends.”
“NTA.”-JGalKnit
“NTA.”
“‘My friend invited me and a few people over for dinner’.”
“‘Since I don’t drive, I got a ride over’.”
“‘The food was terrible, but I was the only one who was honest enough to state my opinion’.”
“‘The host was annoyed and told me to cut it out’.”
“‘I thought he was joking ,so I kept it up’.”
“‘He then kicked me out, and because I didn’t have a ride back, and my other friends were unwilling to leave, even just to drop me off, I had to walk home in the dark’.”
“Nope, I don’t feel bad for this guy.”
“Sometimes our actions have consequences.”- quietgrrrlriot
“NTA, but your friends are AHs for defending Mark.”- oldcousingreg
“NTA.”
“Poor Mark.”
“You humiliated him.”
“How dare you make him accountable for his own words and actions.”
“How dare you make him stop trying to humiliate you.”
“Mark is a jerk.”
“Don’t let him back into your home.”- 2_old_for_this_spit
It’s pretty big of Mark to tell the OP how humiliated he felt walking home alone after he did nothing but insult the food the OP cooked for him all evening.
As many pointed out, he did not have to leave; he was given the choice to either stay and stop insulting the OP’s food or leave.
Based on the decision he made, one can’t help but feel that the Reddit community is correct in believing that the OP might want to reevaluate who his friends indeed are…