Gossiping is one of those activities that we all do a little bit of, but some of us basically make a second or third job out of keeping tabs on the people around us.
It’s important to remember that the problem with gossip is that we’re not only potentially going to cause trouble for the people we’re talking about, but there could be repercussions for us getting involved, too, pointed out the users of the “Am I the A**hole?” subReddit.
Redditor common_grounder was furious when her husband came home from work, angry that his gossipy coworker was spreading a rumor around the office that his baby should have a paternity test because they didn’t look enough like their father.
Enraged, the Original Poster (OP) confronted the coworker about his behavior, and because the boss overheard the conversation, the gossipy coworker found himself embarrassed and facing consequences at work.
She asked the sub:
“AITAH for embarrassing my husband’s coworker for embarrassing me and my husband?”
The OP and her husband finally had the baby they’d been waiting for.
“A few months ago, after many years of trying to conceive, my husband (32 Male) and I (33 Female) had a gorgeous, healthy baby boy.”
“My husband and I are Black, which is pertinent to this story.”
“We were over the moon, and family, friends, and coworkers had also been excited for us.”
“Right after I delivered, my husband emailed a birth announcement with a photo of our son to everyone in his office.”
But there was one person at the OP’s husband’s workplace who was not happy for them.
“A couple of weeks later, my husband’s paternity leave ended, and he came home fuming after his first day back at work.”
“One of his coworkers informed him that another guy in the office, a new young employee my husband barely knew, had been telling everyone willing to listen that my husband couldn’t be our son’s father because, ‘That baby is too light to be his, and its hair is too long and straight. That’s a white man’s baby… or an Asian’s.'”
“This guy proceeded to tell everyone that my husband was a sucker and that his excitement over finally becoming a dad was blinding him to the reality that he had been cheated on and that his wife had been impregnated by another man.”
“Side note for anyone who’s still unaware in 2025: Black babies in general are fairly pale as newborns, and their skin will darken over the first few weeks. Hair changes to a curlier pattern are usually gradual, as well, and for some will even take a few years, which is why many moms hesitate to ‘cut into’ their curls to not break the pattern.”
“Our son was no exception and is now my hub’s mini me at just a few months old.”
The OP’s husband attempted to confront the guy, but nothing came of it.
“My husband said he had immediately confronted and questioned the guy, who completely denied saying anything inappropriate and claimed he only said, as a joke, that the baby was too cute to be my husband’s.”
“But others in the office confirmed the first coworker’s account. Not only that, but the guy had tried to parlay his superior perception skills into some weird form of workplace clout.”
When the OP had the opportunity to confront the guy, she did not waste her chance.
“Fortunately, the guy got moved to a different shift that same week, so my husband didn’t have to see him again. That is, until a company event this past weekend.”
“Families were invited, and we took our son.”
“And who should come and insert himself into our group as we were chatting with the boss but Brown Noser McMouth? He interrupted our conversation and introduced himself to the boss, shaking his hand.”
“When I realized who he was, my anger came flooding back, and I said, ‘I don’t believe we’ve met, but aren’t you the guy who went around telling everyone in the office I must have cheated on my husband with a white or Asian man and this couldn’t be his son?'”
“The guy went red and silent.”
“The boss said to him, ‘See me in my office first thing Monday,’ and walked away.”
The OP finally felt vindicated.
“I think someone’s fired. My husband said I went too far because it was already over and done with.”
“I said it wasn’t done for me until I’d had my say, and I was the one being defamed, not him.”
“AITAH?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some agreed with the OP that she deserved to clear her name of the gossip.
“NTA.”
“You were slandered in a way that could have negatively impacted your marriage. And you had no real recourse, aside from a lawsuit, to publicly defend yourself against the public the accusation made against you.”
“An opportunity presented itself in this man’s continued pompousness.”
“You took it. You made it clear, with your baby now looking just like your husband, that he was obviously wrong, and that you were hurt by the accusation.”
“Behavior has consequences.” – star_tyger
“Behaviour has consequences. Words that come out of his mouth, too. Everyone is responsible as an ‘adult’ to face up to your own words and actions.”
“The fact that a lot of people nowadays don’t want to take responsibility for their own words and actions is bizarre.”
“Glad OP got to speak your mind, and that his boss actually cared and listened. NTA.” – Danni_Les
“This guy was a straight-up bully, and you must always stand up to a bully.”
“OP didn’t go too far. I am assuming here that hubby just didn’t want to stir the pot and bring it all back up. However, this rumour/conspiracy really wasn’t about him; it was about OP, as in, she cheated on him and had another man’s baby.”
“Reading Brown nosers comments gave an eerie echo to another jacka** bully who spreads lies and misinformation.” – OjibwaGirl
“NTA. Words have power. And he just witnessed how it can work both ways.”
“All that person had to do was say absolutely nothing. He inserted himself and ended up getting his foot inserted into his behind. Classic f**k around and find out.”
“Everyone isn’t going to let things slide. She did not come to play around with someone who would say that and let them get away with it. Good for YOU!!” – Lucky_Log2212
“Even if it wasn’t his baby, it’s still none of the business of the coworker and there’s no reason for him to mention it. It could be a child from a recent previous relationship, or they could have adopted, or they could have used a sperm donor.”
“Any of those things are the business of the people in the relationship and no one else’s. If he actually had any good faith reason to raise it, he would have done so privately to the guy’s face, not used it behind his back to make him look bad.” – bigdave41
Others agreed and pointed out how racist and problematic the gossip was, as well.
“That’s a racist offense most orgs have very clear rules about and are reinforced in training.” – carolkrol
“The racist part of his slander is also really offensive. The very kindest interpretation is that he’s ignorant and happy to broadcast his ignorance to everyone around him, but I expect the kindest interpretation is being way too generous with this guy.”
“I hope he gets his ass handed to him by the boss.” – JulieWriter
“He only has himself to blame for his racist remarks. My mum said I looked white when I was born. It was the same for my youngest child. Our pigment usually comes in a few weeks.”
“He’s lucky OP didn’t slap him for his insulting racist remarks.” – Apart_Foundation1702
“NTA. Here’s a thought: A child’s race or parentage is nobody else’s business. The clearly obvious racism aside, adoption, surrogacy, sperm donation, etc., could all be alternate explanations for the child’s so-called off pigmentation and hair length/texture.”
“None of which were any of this person’s business. They got exactly what was coming to them.” – Economy-Cod310
“Even if that weren’t true that the pigment comes later, some Black people have white ancestors, whether because of love or assault or any other reason, and sometimes those genes can come out and you can have two black parents have a child that looks white or mixed race or much lighter.”
“That this guy didn’t know that is one thing, and that he felt the need to go around the office saying what was in his head to other people about a person that he doesn’t know and is none of his business is so beyond unprofessional, it’s actually concerning.”
“This person should not be working with others until he has therapy and/or training.” – Quick-Baker744
After receiving feedback, the OP shared a brief update in a second post.
“The response to my post was overwhelming yesterday, and I was only able to read a few replies, enough to surmise that I was NTA in the scenario. A big thanks to all who took the time to weigh in.”
“As for the fallout, Brown Noser McMouth didn’t get fired yesterday.”
“They didn’t have to fire him because he didn’t show up for work.”
“At some point between Saturday afternoon and Monday morning, he cleared out his cubicle and left his badge and company phone on the desk.”
“I’m trying not to feel guilty by telling myself he learned a valuable life lesson and will probably be a new and improved version of himself wherever he lands, but right now, I’m not so sure.”
Fellow Redditors encouraged the OP not to feel guilty and believed the guy learned a good lesson.
“No need to feel guilty. This is all due to his piss poor behavior.”
“I’m so happy your husband no longer has to have any type of interaction with this man!” – llamaful98
“It sounds like you didn’t even have to do much for karma to catch up with him! His behavior was completely unprofessional, and it’s his own fault for acting like that.”
“Don’t feel guilty; it sounds like he got exactly what he deserved. Hopefully, he will learn and grow from this, but that’s on him now.” – No_Form8498
“He learned that actions have consequences! Probably better that he quit than get fired anyway. Regardless, you have nothing to feel guilty for! Hope you and bubba are doing well.” – Dizzy-Government-289
“NTA!! Never blame yourself when the trash decides to take itself out.” – PrairieGirl5263
“NTA. It sounds like you were just standing up for yourself, which is totally justified. The fact that this person took it to such an extreme by just leaving without facing any consequences says a lot about their character. It’s unfortunate that it escalated this way, but it sounds like you were within your rights to call them out.” – claudiasx0
While the OP was left a little conflicted over the coworker giving up his job over the hurtful and problematic gossip he had spread, the subReddit reassured her that it was right for her to confront him so that he could learn that actions have consequences, words have power, and when you’re going to try to spread harmful information, especially when it isn’t true, some people will push back.