As of 2026, 39% to 42% of marriages are expected to end in divorce in the United States. Approximately 64% of divorced American women and 68% of divorced men eventually remarry.
Many of those second, third (or more) marriages include children for at least one member of the couple. So what, if any role should kids have in the wedding?
The answer varies from none to kids walking a parent down the aisle, being a part of the wedding party, or even officiating.
A teenage daughter who knew the part she wanted but didn't get it turned to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subReddit for feedback.
Greedy-Mail-7080 asked:
"AITA for not going to my dad's wedding since it's just a stupid party?"
The original poster (OP) explained:
"My dad is getting remarried. I (15, female) assumed I'd be a bridesmaid or junior bridesmaid but apparently my new stepmom doesn't want any kids in her wedding party."
"My cousin was maid of honor in her dad's wedding, but my stepmom doesn't want me anywhere near her."
"Dad said I can be his bestwoman but I don't want to match clothes with men. I wanted to wear bridesmaid clothes."
"I told my dad who told his girlfriend who still refused to make me a bridesmaid."
"Dad told me to drop it and it's just a 'stupid party' and I should just let it go and get over the fact that I can't be in her wedding party."
"I told him since it's just a stupid party, I won't attend. It's on my mom's custody time, so I don't have to go anyway."
"He thinks I'm an a**hole for not supporting him."
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
- INFO - more information needed
While there was some debate in the comments about bowing to the OP's demands because they're "just a child," the majority of Redditors decided the OP was the a**hole (YTA).
"I think YTA."
"This isn’t your wedding. You don’t get to decide the bridal party, and 'I wanted to wear a bridesmaid dress' isn’t a reason someone has to change their vision for their own wedding. Plenty of brides have adults-only wedding parties, and that isn’t automatically a slight against their future stepchildren."
"Your dad even tried to find another meaningful role for you by asking you to stand with him. Instead of seeing that as him wanting you beside him, you rejected it because you didn’t want to match the men."
"Then, after your dad said 'It’s just a party' you threw that phrase back at him and decided not to attend at all. That doesn’t punish your future stepmom—it hurts your relationship with your dad."
"You’re 15, so it’s understandable that your feelings are hurt. Those feelings are valid. But being disappointed doesn’t mean you’re entitled to a specific role in someone else’s wedding. Sometimes supporting the people we love means celebrating their day, even when it isn’t exactly how we pictured it." ~ Optimistic-Emu
"Super unreasonable to make the stepmom not able to enjoy her bridesmaid time with her friends the way she wants to accommodate a 15-year-oldc."
"Everyone crying in the comments is either a 16-year-old girl who hates their own stepmom or is someone who has never been a part of a bridal party or a wedding or doesn’t have kids. The bride deserves to have her day with her closest friends where she can be herself and not be in mom mode or censor her behavior because a child who clearly doesn't like her is present." ~ witcher252
"She has been included—she was offered to stand up with her father, but she's mad because she wanted to wear a bridesmaid-style dress. She can easily wear a dress while standing with her father. The stepmother didn't say she was unwelcome, just that stepmother didn't want kids in her bridesmaid party. OP is throwing a fit over a dress, when she can still buy a bridesmaid-style dress for her dad." ~ rastagrrl
"YTA if your only reason is that you’re not in the wedding party. Go and support your dad." ~ purlawhirl
"Respectfully, OP sounds kind of annoying. I could see her making much of the day about herself. This might be the bride’s concern." ~ heythatsmywifi
"I’m not sure how people are having this much difficult understanding the concept here. YTA."
"Dad offered opportunity to be included. OP rejected it because she didn't get her way. Therefore willfully refusing to participate in the wedding. How is this even being debated?" ~ Resident-Dog745
"Exactly and these are the same people who would be upset at the stepparent if they did even the slightest parenting (or even just had rules in their house) because ThEy ArEN’t ThE pArEnT." ~ nothappening111181
"Not being in the wedding party itself does not mean OP wasn't invited at all. OP is making her dad and step-mom's wedding about her rather than celebrating the two of them." ~ TechnoMouse37
"The dad asked her to be his best woman, which is one of the two most important members of the wedding party. The stepmom didn’t say she couldn’t wear a bridesmaid dress as best woman, OP just didn’t like the idea of that role. I don’t see how the stepmom is excluding OP just because she isn’t giving in to her demand to be a bridesmaid." ~ Excellent-Run4803
"Except she didn't ask to be in the wedding party because it was important to her to share this moment or anything like that. It's about the damn dress. YTA." ~ panda_pandora
"She's 15. There is a good chance we're getting a hormonal unreliable narrator, and stepmom isn't a Disney villain." ~ PutridPut9971
"Does OP accept her stepmum? It doesn't sound like she's close enough to speak to stepmum. Paraphrasing from her post: 'Apparently stepmum doesn't want kids in the bridal party', 'I told my dad who spoke to his girlfriend'."
"Sounds more like OP just wants to be a bridesmaid and is throwing a tantrum because she was told no. Maybe that's the reason stepmum doesn't want her as a bridesmaid."
"She even got offered to stand up for her father and turned it down because of the attire. So not anything about wanting to support her dad, just wanted to have everyone bow to her whims and to get the pretty dress." ~ Aethermist88
"YTA. You will regret it if you do not go. Show up for your dad and support him." ~ notreallysurewhat
"But OP has been offered the Best Woman role—1000% included in the ceremony and would be heavily involved."
"OP's only complaint is that she has to wear similar colours to the men? But still in a fancy dress? Sounds like everything she could reasonably expect, therefore this is a standard tantrum you expect of a 15-year-old." ~ badpebble
"I can understand wanting to be part of the wedding party if your parent is getting remarried, but no one is entitled to being in the party. The couple getting married gets to decide. I know you might be hurt by their decision, but in this situation, YTA." ~ AltruisticTour5827
"YTA. Dude, teenager to teenager, you are whiny AF. I know you are only 15, but WTF? Get it together. Go support your dad. Ask him to wear a dress that matches the groomsmen colors."
"You want to be petty about a dress and not getting what you wanted in someone else's wedding, buy this will hurt your dad’s feelings for a very long time if you don’t go. You cannot force his wife to include you as a bridesmaid."
"It definitely sucks because she could be trying to make you feel welcome. But if she isn’t agreeing to your demands, then make the best of it. Your dad is the person that matters. Be his best woman and ask to wear a dress in matching colors. It shouldn’t be a problem." ~ Electrical_Chip_337
"I’m not going to lie and say I don’t think this 15-year-old isn’t being a bit of a snot, but I also understand that she’s a teenager, she is feeling hurt, and the alternative presented is not an equivalent to what she wanted. Dad either needs to tell her she can wear a dress like the bridesmaids or they need to find a different role entirely. They all also need some family therapy, but that’s a different story." ~ Autistic_Briar_Rose
"The people claiming, 'She’s being excluded! It’s mean!'. Y’all are so entitled it’s actually exhausting."
"As a 16-year-old, even I can recognize OP is being petty af. I wouldn’t want her in my wedding party either, especially if she’s under the impression that I owe her executive decision-making power."
"Stepmom set a boundary; the choices are to respect that boundary or risk being a massive entitled brat, which is what OP chose. It’s not that complicated."
"As somebody whose parents were remarried, nobody offered nor asked us kids to be part of the wedding party. Of five step-siblings, with a collection of eclectic personalities, not one of us felt entitled to our parents' day.
"Unlike OP, we made no demands, had no ultimatums. We attended, and enjoyed ourselves, and our love was not made blatantly conditional."
"Frankly, the implication that my parents were not suited for parenthood because they didn’t make their wedding day about us is deeply insulting and equally childish." ~ LSRNKB
OP may not have gotten the answer they wanted, but maybe a dose of reality is what they needed.
