When you’re dining out in a group, sometimes the bill delivery is always awkward.
Everyone is so sacred about their money and being shafted.
Or there is so much confusion about who should pay.
It can be a very dramatic dining situation.
Case in point…
Redditor TheExecutioner- wanted to discuss their story for some feedback. So naturally they came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
They asked:
“AITA for leaving my ‘friend’ at a restaurant when he tried to get a free meal out of me?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“Yesterday I went out for dinner with 2 of my friends.”
“Who I’ll label as C and J, to a new Asian restaurant we never tried before.”
“At first the night went ok, we all got our meals, joked around and had a good time.”
“Then came the time to pay for our meals.”
“When the waitress asked if we wanted separate checks I said yes.”
“C gave me a weird look at first.”
“When the waitress got back to us C handed me his check and said ‘I thought you were paying.'”
“At first I thought he was joking and handed it back to him.”
“Then he puts on a serious face, at this point I knew he wasn’t kidding.”
“I asked him why he didn’t bring any money and he said ‘Well you invited me, I thought you were paying for us.'”
“J and I looked at each other like did he really just say that?”
“Normally I wouldn’t have much of a problem with it, but 1) I only brought cash and 2) he ordered over $100 worth of food.”
“I told C I couldn’t pay for him and J straight up refused.”
“He goes on to call us both scumbags loud enough to attract attention, saying we’re bad friends, things like that.”
“At no point did we ever agree to pay for him.”
“I even gave him and J a ride to the restaurant.”
“At this point J and I were ready to leave and C was still throwing a tantrum.”
“The waitress picks up our checks, and me and J go to the exit, leaving C behind.”
“As J and I pull out we get a string of texts asking where we went.”
“We told C to F off, and if we’re such bad friends he could find his own way home.”
“We still have no idea what happened after that because he blocked our numbers.”
“At the time it felt good, but a couple of our mutual friends are calling us a**holes and we should have just paid for him and got the money back later.”
“I know for a fact he wouldn’t pay me back.”
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors declared our OP was NOT the A**hole.
It’s a tricky situation.
Let’s hear some thoughts…
“NTA. He is though.”
“He ordered $100+ dollars worth of food thinking you’d pay for it? Who does that?”
“Even if I know someone is paying for me I don’t go overboard ordering.” ~ xHappyAcidx
“I like to wait and order after the other person when I know they are paying.”
“That way I see how much they are willing to spend on their meal and choose accordingly.”
“I am not going to order a more expensive entrée than my host.”
“Same thing with drinks, order something in the same price range and always order one less than my host.”
“I also bring enough cash as a tip.” ~ senoritarosalita
“I only don’t order less when they tell me to order more than usual and I know they have the means or it is pay back for helping someone.”
“And even then I order the same amount as usual.”
“Sometimes they don’t let that slide and order me something for dessert that I normally wouldn’t get but they know I’ll like.”
“I feel like if someone is using food to pay me back for helping them and it takes more than 3 hours of my time, I can get what I usually get.”
“Especially if they pick the location.”
“Otherwise, I always order less.” ~ musryujidt
“I don’t know why anyone thinks ordering over a hundred dollars worth of food for someone else to pay for is ok.”
“I usually go for the cheapest entree on the menu bc it’s not my money.”
“NTA, OP.” ~ runningwithkimchi
“When I was about 8 or 9, my friend’s family was going out to eat in a restaurant and invited me along.”
“My mother agreed but took me aside and laid some ground rules, including not to order the most expensive thing on the menu.”
“And explained how rude that would be if someone else was paying.”
“So when it came time to order, I didn’t like the cheapest thing but the next least expensive looked good (and it was).”
“Looking back at it, it was good for my mother to let me go and explain the etiquette beforehand.”
“Every kid should have this training as how NTA in social situations.” ~ jemy74
“I went out to eat with a group of friends and offered to pay for two of them who didn’t have money.”
“The restaurant we decided to go to was korean bbq.”
“There are ‘sets’ that you can order which gives you a huge option of meat and other dishes for a slightly lower price than ordering a la carte dishes.”
“If you wanted something else’s that’s not offered in the set then you’d have to order it separately.”
“I suggested that we just order what we want to eat (a la carte) but they (the friends who weren’t paying for themselves) decided to order the set.”
“I did not like any of the dishes that were in the sets, and made it very clear.”
“They tried to justify it as ‘it’s okay, if you don’t eat it then everyone else will.'”
“At the end of the night.”
“I paid around $700 but only ate $30 worth of the set.”
“I will never offer to pay again and will never split the bill if there’s a huge money difference.” ~ sociophobe-
“NTA. Inviting someone for a meal doesn’t automatically put you on the hook for paying.”
“Also, who the hell thinks it’s ok to order over $100 worth of food when they think someone else is picking up the check?”
“Your ‘friend’ is the real AH.” ~ mymorningkiller
“NTA. Who the hell doesn’t bring money with them?”
“Who orders over $100 of food? An a**hole, that’s who.”
“He got himself into this predicament, thinking you’d bail him out.”
“You’re under no obligation to do so.” ~ Publius246
“Who the hell orders $100 worth of food when someone else is paying?!”
“Like I will gladly drop $100 on food for myself if I’m at a nice place and am celebrating but if someone else is paying?”
“It’s water and a menu item that is priced around whatever the person paying is ordering.”
“You don’t ball out on food on someone else’s dime.”
“It’s a jerk move.” ~ hmarie176
“NTA Organizing a meal out amongst friends doesn’t imply your picking up the check.”
“Your friend ordered $100 worth of food, any of your friends calling you an a**hole wouldn’t have picked up his tab either.” ~ Shaggymaggie
“Absolutely NTA.”
“I don’t understand American culture of splitting the cheque.”
“We all just pay for our own tabs on our own bills.”
“He attempted to take advantage of you.”
“Way over ordered (WHO NEEDS $100 in food??) and then attempted to manipulate you both at the restaurant and with your mutual friends.”
“Drop him and the friends.” ~ eirwen29
“I’ve also seen in where the check is split evenly between parties.”
“In my experience, it’s suggested by people that know they will pay less than paying their own bill.”
“NTA – Never expect someone to pay unless they say ‘my treat’ or something like that.”
“And never go without your wallet/money.”
“What if something happens outside of the one who is paying control, machines down, banking error, card demagnetized etc.” ~ Illustrious_Card_837
“NTA he’s a moocher not a friend and his game didn’t work.”
“The friends calling you ah are welcome to be his friend and pay for his things but they don’t get a vote in how you spend your money.” ~ HPNerd44
“NTA. There’s a difference in would you like to come to dinner and can I take you to dinner.”
“Just because you’re invited doesn’t mean you’re automatically being treated.”
“And even if he was — it’s so incredibly tacky to order over 100 worth of food for yourself if you’re being treated.”
“He had a ridiculous and nasty reaction.”
“Acting like a child. I would’ve left him behind too.” ~ Agreeable-Tale9729
“NTA. Brother you have some testicles of steel!”
“I don’t know if I’d be strong like that to leave my ‘friend’ but crap I sure hope i do when the time comes.”
“What a complete tool to assume anything, much less eating $100 worth of food and having someone else pay.”
“Well freaking done!” ~ OptionMean6948
What have we learned first?
Always be prepared to pay no matter who invites you.
Reddit definitely has OP’s back.
Maybe OP can send this thread to their friend.
They could learn a better understanding about dining out.