Raising a new puppy is a lot of work and responsibility. There’s the basics of making sure they’re fed and get plenty of exercise, but you also need to make sure they’re trained and safe.
Redditor PuzzleheadedEar7067 also found she had to deal with her very messy friend making it more difficult to keep her puppy safe. But when the original poster (OP)’s dog is hurt, and requires surgery, they wonder if they should make their friend help cover the cost.
OP worried asking for that would make them a jerk, so they asked the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subreddit a hypothetical “Would I Be The A**hole” (WIBTA) question.
She asked:
“WIBTA for asking my friend to pay for my dogs surgery after she almost killed him?”
This was what happened:
“One of my good friends came to my apartment to go out together one night, let’s call her Lauren. I also have a 20 week old puppy.”
“Lauren is notoriously messy when visiting. She will go through her clothes, my clothes and just about everything to find an outfit to go out.”
“However, now that I have my puppy I reminded Lauren when she first came in the apartment to please keep everything off of the ground and out of reach of my puppy.”
“I told her that he will chew/eat anything left on the ground, so for anything she cared about & for my puppies safety, to keep it up high.”
“Lauren continued to have her clothes and miscellaneous items from her bag sprawled out everywhere. So instead of reminding her after the 2nd or 3rd time, I just started putting her items in another room and closing the door for her to pick up later.”
“While getting ready Lauren decided to take a shower and she brought her own shaving razor. When she mentioned shaving, I told her to be careful because my puppy had tried to get ahold of my razor before, so be careful.”
“Long story short, I crate my dog and we go out. I come back and he is having bloody diarrhea and squealing. At 4 AM, I rush to the emergency vet. They tell me he’s probably constipated and to monitor him. I questioned this but didn’t know what he could’ve ate yet, so I take him home and watch him closely.”
“After coming home and making sure he is okay. I do a quick sweep of my house and try (emphasis on try, there were crop tops, socks, etc. flung all around my room) to find all the items she had left around my apartment. Lauren picks up her stuff and leaves.”
“The next day when I am taking a shower I notice she left her razor on the ground by my shower. It looked a bit off so I sent her a picture and asked if a part was missing. She says the bikini shaver of it is missing and seems unconcerned.
“I tell Lauren I think my puppy may have ate it.”
“So I go to my local vet to have another checkup and they take X-rays. The vet tells me he indeed ate the razor and that he needs to go to another vet over an hour away for emergency surgery, or he would not make it through the night. Of course, I rush there and they do the surgery.”
“Later I text Lauren that he is having surgery because he swallowed her bikini razor. Lauren tells me she is sorry for leaving it out and didn’t ever mean for this to happen.”
“We are good friends, I would like to still be. My question is would I be the a**hole it I asked her to cover part of the costs from his surgery?”
“My puppy is obviously a bit at fault here for eating it, I’m at fault for not searching my apartment well enough after she made a mess, but I believe she is at fault for leaving a razor out where he could get to it after being reminded SEVERAL times. I’m not intending on asking her to cover full cost, but would I be the a**hole for asking for anything?”
On the AITA subReddit, people are judged for their actions with one of the following acronyms:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
Since her friend was so careless after repeated warnings to not leave things around, the board voted OP would not be TA for asking her friend to help pay for the surgery.
It’s the least she could do.
“NTA whatsoever. i would be making her reimburse the full price of the surgery as she blatently didnt listen to you and costed you an expensive surgery, scary shock, and almost a puppy.”
“If you only want some of it back so be it. But if she put up a stink id be PISSED.” – Relative_Formal3935
“TBH, I’m shocked she hasn’t OFFERED to pay you back in full! If I were her, I’d be bending over backwards, offering the full cost plus interest, to try to make up for doing something so stupid and dangerous.”
“NTA at all, OP. And I think asking her for the money is going to be a good way to see just how good of a friend she actually is.” – Willowed-Wisp
“NTA”
“She should pay for ALL the surgery. This is 100% her fault. Who trashes another persons home anyways?” – kalkiki
“NTA, she should pay and you shouldn’t allow her at your place again to get ready for your pup’s safety. she should come fully ready or go to her place. hope your pup is on the mend” – Winter_Sky_9527
However, not everyone was so understanding. They pointed out that OP was clearly aware of her friend’s proclivities, but she chose to continue to put her dog in a dangerous situation.
They felt at a certain point, OP needs to take responsibility for not stopping this sooner.
“ESH. You’ve described Lauren as notoriously messy, but she sounds like Amelia Bedelia.”
“Who needs three reminders to make sure she doesn’t leave razors around where a dog can get to them? However, even though she’s clearly weird, Lauren is not your pet.”
“After the second or third time you asked your notoriously messy friend to clean up after herself YOU should’ve been the one to make sure the dog was safe. She is not responsible for this imo, she’s a mess, but she’s not raising the dog, you are.” – H3000
“Right? OP is using similar logic as ‘well I saw the other car coming but the light was green for me so…’”
“I feel like if I had a little puppy that is still in the eat-everything stage, I would ENSURE the puppy was safe by crating him as soon as my moron tornado friend arrived, rather than uselessly reminding said moron/tornado to ‘be careful’ when she clearly has no intention of being careful. Your dog, your responsibility.” – Icy_Platypus9
“YWBTA for asking for money. A 20 week old puppy needs proper supervision.”
“I’m not sure how the training is going so far, but if you’re not directly supervising the dog, he should be in a crate or on a tie down, especially if he is picking up items from around the house. Your friend should have behaved better but ultimately you are responsible for your pet’s safety and wellbeing in your home.”
“Also, it sounds like your friend needs to learn some manners. I would be horrified if a friend came to my house and left clothing thrown all around the floor.” – Xtinaiscool
If OP decides to ask Lauren to pay part of the bills, she needs to consider what will happen if she says no.
Will OP remain friends with her? How will Lauren react?
And if OP chooses to not ask that of her, how is she going to handle her friendship going forward? These are the real questions OP needs to be able to answer.