Any aspiring parent begins choosing names for their future children at a very young age, long before they will ever become parents.
Of course, when they do this, there are several things they don’t take into account.
Namely, that their future partners might not see eye to eye on what they want to name their child.
Or, for that matter, whether or not they’re being fair to their child by giving them a certain name.
When Redditor XxFireflyxxX learned what their close friend planned on naming their soon-to-be-born child, they had more than their fair share of reservations.
However, the original poster (OP)’s words of warning were anything but appreciated by their friend.
Wondering if they were being insensitive, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for telling my pregnant friend that her kid was going to get bullied for the name she plans on using?”
The OP explained why they couldn’t help but speak their truth to their friend when learning of her prospective baby names:
“One of my friends found out she was pregnant a few months ago, and she’s really excited to be a mother.”
“I’m happy for her and think she’d make a good mom, but there’s one problem; she wants her baby’s name to be unique and special, but the way she’s going about it is terrible.”
“What I mean is, the name she plans on using is godawful.”
“If it’s a boy, she’s going to name him ‘Daynger’ (yes, spelled like that to be unique), and if it’s a girl, she’s going to name her ‘Tinkerbelle’.”
“I wish I was joking.”
“I asked her if she was 100% sure, and suggested if she was dead set on those names to make them the kid’s middle name.”
“When she asked why, I told her flat out that the child would get bullied if she named them that.”
“I know just how sh*tty kids can be; I got bullied for my name, and changed it when I was 19.”
“She got really upset and told me I was being unsupportive and I was a sh*tty friend.”
“She’s been ignoring my texts ever since, and it’s been more than a week.”
“I’m starting to feel kind of guilty over what I said.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community was in agreement that the OP was not the a**hole for warning their friend that her child would be bullied with those names.
Everyone agreed that the OP was just giving their friend their honest opinion, which was all the more meaningful since they were bullied over their name, while many expressed their exhaustion of too many parents giving their children ridiculous names.
“NTA.”
“She needs a reality check.”
“She’s naming adults here.”
“Those names won’t set her kids up for their best shot at life and she needs to accept that.”-Thoughtinspace
“Oh my gosh.”
“Ugh.”
“I mean, someone has to tell her.”
“NTA.”- dandelionlemon
“NTA.”
“I’m so sick of people assuming that anyone who disagrees with them is ‘unsupportive’.”
“Being a supportive friend does not mean being a yes-man, it means having your friends best interests at heart.”
“You do want your friend and her child to be happy, therefore you are the most supportive.”
“Any name should fill a person with confidence as people keep having to introduce themselves again and again throughout their life.”
“Show your friend the soap box video that comedian David Mitchell made on naming your baby.”
“It’s quite easy to find on YouTube, it lays the argument out perfectly.”- Friendly_Order3729
“Danger Danger.”
“High Voltage.”
“When we touch, when we kiss.”
“Sorry for anyone who doesn’t get the reference, but that was my immediate thought when I read this.”
“NTA.”
“Stop calling kids stupid names.”- ButterMyParsnip
“Ehhh NTA.”
“The kid will be bullied.”
“They will be forced to work minimum wage fast food jobs because nobody in the corporate world would ever accept Daynger’s or Tinkerbelle’s resume.”
“And what if they wanted to run for office?”
“A baby’s name should work for them from birth to school to career to retirement.”
“She’s only thinking of how cute a baby Daynger/Tinkerbelle would be and not thinking of how much her tween will hate her for that name.”- Regular-Switch454
The OP later returned with an update, sharing that they had a heart-to-heart with their friend, giving some insight into her reaction and that she had also given some to what her friend said.
“We had a conversation over call.”
“I decided to tell her about my experience getting bullied for years because of my name (Shayleigh, called Gayleigh), and it turns out she’s been going through a lot.”
“Birth complications run in her family, and she’s been really stressed out about it, along with finding out that her boyfriend (now ex) of 3 years has been exchanging dirty texts with a coworker of his.”
“I had no idea about this, and she expressed regret for taking out her feelings on me.”
“I carefully brought up some of your points, and suggested using the name ‘Belle’ for a girl, with ‘Tinkerbelle’ as a nickname; she thinks it’s cute and liked the idea.”
“I also mentioned maybe using ‘Dayn’ as a first name with ‘Danger’ as a nickname, which she wasn’t quite as happy about.”
“She did decide to use ‘Daynger’ (still spelled like that) as a middle name, which isn’t nearly as bad as using it for a first name.”
“On the bright side, the kid can tell people ‘Danger is my middle name’.”
“Thank you for all your advice, everyone.”
“I really appreciate your help and suggestions.”
Reddit continued to weigh in.
“I volunteer in an alternative school and a lot of the kids have interesting names – creative, hippie, or old-timey.”
“As long as her kids go to Waldorf, they’ll blend right in.”
“Whether adult Tinkerbelle blends in well at her law firm, or adult Daynger feels pressure to become a radio DJ or something to fully embody that vibe is another story.”
“I like unusual and creative names but I think her choices are more like things you’d name a dog than a human, or would only suit a very young child, not an adult.”
“If you don’t know what your kids will be like, it is better to lean a bit towards names that give a more mature impression, but have sweet nickname potential.”
“As others have said, you probably did the right thing to give your honest reaction in this case.”-External-Comparison2
“NTA.”
“I mean- at least Tinkerbell, awful though it is, has two semi- normal nicknames built in: Tink and Belle.”
“There’s no way to hide Daynger.”
“Holy hell.”
“Someone had to tell her.”- Purpleteapothead
“Omg, that’s something you would name a dog, not a child.”
“I feel sorry for the baby!”
“NTA!”- CaffeinatedMum
“NTA people need to be called out for calling their kids stupid sh*t, like just buy a fish and call it Daynger.”- SkulledDownunda
“I think putting those names as a second name is a good solution.”
“A normal name as the first one, for the kids, and these names as a second name, for the mom.”
“NTA- never in a million years I would name my child either of that but if she really wants it her choice.”- RunningBurger
“NTA you’re just the messenger here.”
“The message is clear.”
“Those are terrible horrible no good very bad names.”- Substantial-Bath-145
“If they go on holiday to the beach, let’s say Australia, and she loses sight of him and starts screaming his name, it’s not going to end well.”- Talentless67
“NTA.”
“My friend wanted to name her son ‘Demon’ happy she changed her mind, a lot of people told her to not do that, she’s been mad for a bit, but then she understood their point.”- No_one8255
“NTA.”
“Has she heard of nicknames?”
“Nicknames allow you to name a child something that everyone can pronounce, spell, and not look at you sideways while still allowing you to call them by those fun names that sound great on a 3y.o. but not on the leader of your country.”- whoopiedo
“NTA.”
“Your friend is mad because she knows you’re right and she doesn’t want to admit it.”
“I swear, some of these names and alternate spellings should be banned.”- acidiccactus13
“NTA.”
“She’s so selfish that she doesn’t care the kid will have an awful life as long as she can tell people she named them with an edgy, twisted name like they’re a dog.”
“Don’t feel guilty, you were right.”
“Unfortunately, it’s often hard to explain to these people that using an ‘existing’ name doesn’t mean your kid won’t be unique.”
“And that naming them with those bullsh*t names (made even worse by the twisting to ‘hide’ the actual word, which is not hidden by any means) is nothing but a selfish act.”- Drezhar
Every parent thinks their child is special.
Some will go the extra mile to ensure that they stand out, by giving them names that they’re convinced no other child has.
What these parents, including the OP’s friend, should consider, however, is how much they would enjoy having these names themselves.