"Some people just can't take a joke".
A popular go-to expression when someone doesn't laugh at a joke made at their expense.
However, almost no one ever stops to consider whether or not they should take that joke.
As there is every possibility that not only was that joke simply not funny, but it may have hit an unsettling nerve that the joke teller simply didn't understand.
Redditor Ok-Preparation5210 had a young co-worker who was constantly telling jokes at the original poster (OP)'s expense.
While the OP did his best to take them in stride, he was growing increasingly tired of their coworker's jokes.
Having finally had enough, the OP decided to give his coworker a taste of his own medicine.
Only to find himself called into his boss's office for doing so.
Having some doubts about his behavior, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole" (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
"AITA for 'gay bashing' my coworker?"
The OP explained why their coworker felt that a joke the OP made about him was no laughing matter:
"I’m a 40 year old male."
"I work a second job at a place with mostly younger people (mid to late 20s)."
"Because of my age I get a bunch of jokes made about me which I don’t mind because we all laugh and joke with each other."
"Honestly it can get pretty brutal."
"Well about a month ago this Jon 22 M[ale] started working there."
"He’s gay which I could honestly give 2 sh*ts about."
"I fully support the community and have family who are gay/trans."
"Well for some reason this guy decides to target ONLY ME for all of his jokes."
"I have thick skin and I can give just as good as I get so I don’t mind."
"I try to stay away from the low hanging fruit (no pun intended) because that’s what everyone else does."
"But once I noticed this kid kept targeting only me with old people jokes and some race jokes (I’m black) it got a bit annoying."
"We all make racial jokes but never just target one person so it seemed personal for some reason."
"He’d also do other annoying things like ring up others incorrectly then blame me for making the wrong thing."
"Make a mess of my station and refuse to clean it."
"Again this was ONLY me and other people noticed it too."
"One day I was working the register and a regular customer (Tim) who we all know and would often join in joking with us asked to see a menu please."
"I told him the men I please is none of his business."
"I know."
"Corny but we all had a good laugh at it."
"Except Jon."
"He decided to go on a tirade and start making weak jokes about me being old blah blah blah."
"I have grey hairs in my beard so Jon decided to say 'haven’t you ever heard of just for men?'”
"I told him 'you’re just for men' which pissed him off."
"Even more because Tim was laughing."
"He’s also gay and absolutely loves a good joke about it."
"Well Jon got mad and left for the day."
"A couple day later he comes back and we get pulled into the office."
"The manager asked what was said and I told her."
"She laughed then caught herself which caused Jon to have a full meltdown."
"He started calling us homophobic saying he was gonna sue the company."
"Yelling at customers not to eat here because we bash homosexuals."
"Which is crazy because a ton of our regulars are LGBTQ."
"He stormed out yelling more bs but whatever."
"F*ck that guy."
"This was a week ago."
"I work in a kitchen."
"Anyone who’s worked in food ling enough, especially back of the house, will know that these kind of jokes are pretty common."
"Also we don’t just mess with everyone."
"We joke amongst ourselves won’t say anything to anyone new unless they join in on their own."
"Jon did just that."
"If anyone is offended by anything we apologize and don’t say it again which rarely happens."
"Here’s a few people who work there that we don’t joke with and they’re just fine."
"This is the first time in my 20+ years (10at this place) that anything close to this has happened."
"Curious if I’m the a**hole?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
- INFO - More Information Needed
The Reddit community firmly agreed that the OP was not the a**Hole for making a joke at his coworkers expense.
Everyone agreed that what the OP did was not "gay bashing", and if he didn't like personal jabs being thrown at him, then he shouldn't throw them at others:
"NTA."
"Gay man here and your jokes are ultra funny."
"If he can dish it out, he can also take it."- Designdiligence
"NTA."
"No one else has mentioned this, so I will. I’m gay and a person of color, and it’s a huge problem in a lgbt+ community that there are a LOT of racist white gay men."
"I think I know the exact type Jon is."
"He likely feels that he can say these things because he’s gay, which gives him some kind of seat at the table, and doesn’t recognize that you can still be racist and gay."
"And/or that racism isn’t a problem anymore so saying racist things is fine but saying homophobic things isn’t."
"But the funny thing about all that is."
"What you wasn’t even homophobic really."
"It was a pun pointing out a known fact about him."- duraraross
"NTA."
"He seems butt hurt."- Significant-Dog1026
"NTA."
"Dude needs to calm the hell down."
"If he worked as hard as he stomped he wouldn't be in this situation."- Deep-Crim
"NTA."
"'You're just for men' made me chuckle."
"The problem was, both of you were too new to each other for the jokes so they didn't land well like the other ones do with your other comments workers bc you have a rapport with them and trust in them."
"The other stuff was weird too honestly, like not cleaning your station."
"Seems like he assumed you'd be homophobic and started acting accordingly without any proof."
"And frankly there's still gay people who are racist."
"He could have taken your jokes to heart bc his jokes about YOU weren't entirely jokes, but ways to insult you to your face."-crab_grams
"NTA."
"If you can’t take a joke don’t join in on the fun."
"He chose to make jokes meaning he gets to be joked on too. and honestly you didn’t even joke on him until the end so not your problem."- your_loss__
"NTA."
"It wasnt even gay bashing..it was just a stupid pun."- JSmith666
"I'm bi, so I guess I can speak for LGBT."
"I thought it was pretty funny."
"NTA, Jon had it coming."- Serious-Comment5458
"NTA."
"Jon is a lazy AH just looking for attention and a free paycheck."- Beck943
"NTA."
"Classic case of don't dish it if you can't take it."
"And I feel sorry for his partner because he sure as shit can't take it."- RedShirtDecoy
"NTA."
"A lot of 'sassy' gay guys are just mean spirited men who happen to be gay."- DEFINITELY_NOT_PETE
"'You're just for men'."
"When I tell you a cackled! Hahaha that was an epic comeback NTA."- jstbcuz
"NTA."
"Lmao he should stfu if he didn't want to get roasted back."
"What a coward he is."- iknowyounot88
"NTA."
"Jon probably isn’t built for a restaurant job lol."
"I’m sure he can get an office gig somewhere."- GovernorJerryBrownn
"Dude, 'low hanging fruit (no pun intended)' and 'you’re just for men' are freaking hilarious."
"NTA."- WerewolfOfNewMexico
"NTA."
"None of that seemed homophobic."
"It was pretty funny and it wasn’t really directed at him except the just for men thing but that shit was hilarious cuz it’s true."
"It wasn’t derogatory."- habitsofwaste
"NTA."
"What's good for the goose is good for the gander."
"You defended yourself from a bully and that bully didn't like it."- Normalsasquatch
"NTA."
"This guy hits you with ageism and racism in one fell swoop, and you riposte with a gay reference that could be just as easily used against a straight man."
"From your description, it sounds like this guy has been mounting a passive aggressive campaign against you for a while."
"He was just waiting for you to say anything he could use, and he thought he had found it."- Left_Lengthiness_433
If the OP's colleague was offended by the OP's jokes, he certainly had a right to say so.
Where he is not in the right, however, is in feeling that it's all right for him to make personal jokes at others, but refuse to allow others to make personal jokes about him.
Appropriately for their line of work, if he can't take the heat, then he should stay out of the kitchen.
