Sometimes family can really be cruel.
Even though it is 2022 LGBTQIA+ people are still facing issues from family members who use religion as a way to shame.
And that shaming can cause people to act out in ways that may not go over well.
Case in point…
Redditor YeezyStanly wanted to discuss his story for some feedback. So naturally he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
He asked:
“AITA for calling out my sister for sleeping with a married man?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“So you know how every family has family secrets that a lot of people don’t know about?”
“So one of those secrets involves my older sister.”
“So when she got to college she started having an affair with a married man in his late 20s he got her pregnant.”
“He left his wife for my sister and they are now married.”
“This was a big deal since my family including my sister is also super religious, and as you could guess, being the wh**e that broke up a family would not look so nice to God.”
“So I didn’t know about this until around the time I graduated high school.”
“I overheard my mom on the phone with her, telling her and talking to each other about my sister’s fear that he might cheat on her.”
“Another controversy in my family is that I’m gay.”
“This has lead to some issues within my family when I first came out.”
“But it’s been relatively good now, especially between me, my boyfriend, and my parents.”
“My parents wanted us to come to Easter dinner so he could meet the rest of the family, but I wasn’t sure about this.”
“After a lot of talking between my parents and my boyfriend we decided to go.”
“We decided that the second someone was weird to us we’d leave.”
“At the dinner I left to go grab a beer and got sidetracked by my uncle.”
“When I got back to my boyfriend I could tell he looked a little uncomfortable.”
“He told me that my sister came up to him and said, ‘you’re so sweet, I hope God forgives you.’”
“Which I took as a backhanded homophobic comment.”
“So I confronted her.”
“She said she was just being nice, and that she’s been awfully kind considering the circumstances.”
“So I snapped.”
“I hit her back with the passive aggressiveness and told her I hope God forgives her for banging a married man and breaking up his family.”
“This escalated in a massive argument that my mother had to break up and I left.”
“When I got back to my house my boyfriend told me I shouldn’t have done what I did and now we both look worse.”
“I was also told by my parents that I need to apologize as I was also in the wrong.”
“I feel like she had this coming for being a homophobic *itch.”
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors declared our OP was NOT the A**hole.
It’s a tricky situation.
Let’s hear some thoughts…
“NTA. You didn’t choose to be gay but she sure chose to screw a married man.”
“So stuff her, you’re in the right.” ~ Feral611
“They are both equally at fault in regards to the cheating and subsequent consequences.”
“It’s what happens when you become an adult and begin to make your own choices.”
“Sorry but even by age 10 I knew that cheating on a spouse/ SO or GF was not morally right.”
“Also, this was not about the cheating husband, it’s about OP’s sister.”
“However, the sister is one of those holier than thou people.”
“She can have sex outside of marriage and get pregnant by a married man outside of marriage, and then go to confession and have all her sins absolved.”
“Hallelujah!”
“But OP shows up with a BF and suddenly she gets to be morally superior?”
“Sorry but I know of at least 2 commandments violated here…”
“You shall not commit adultery.”
“You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.”
“Also you may want to remind your parents that pride is a sin too.”
“Why should you be the only one to apologize?”
“NTA.” ~ MooseTek
“NTA. She is in no place to judge your relationship based on religion when her own is also considered wrong by her own religion.”
“Not only that, but being gay has no affect on anyone else meanwhile she destroyed a marriage.” ~ BrownBaySailor
“Its been my experience that a majority of the very religious people that constantly bring up religion are the worst examples of people in that religion.”
“They are usually projecting hard their own sins on others or think everyone is as tempted as them to do bad.”
“Desperate to absolve themselves of their obvious guilt and hypocrisy by cutting others down to feel superior.”
“Wish all these people would understand.”
“Besides the usual throwing stones in a glass house thing, that if they have to constantly mention and remind people that they are good Christians or just people, they actually are not.”
“Truly good people never have to mention it because people will know based on their normal interactions with them.” ~ letstrythisagain30
“It always amazes me how religious people do this.”
“They give back handed comments about people going to hell saying ‘oh I was just being nice’ as if that somehow vindicates them.”
“Meanwhile, they are breaking more rules in the bible than the person they have chosen to persecute.”
“I wanna be clear: just because you believe in Jesus, doesn’t make you Jesus.”
“You have no right to ‘righteous anger’ you have no right to judge.”
“You have no rights to excuse your own sins just because in your belief system forgiveness is a guarantee while holding someone else to the fire for theirs.”
“This goes to highlight the pure self righteousness and superiority complex OP sister and others of religious affiliation often have.”
“OP I don’t believe you are TA at all.”
“But I can understand the concern your boyfriend has.”
“Trying to take the high road.”
“But sometimes, in my opinion, you gotta get muddy and bloody and stand your ground.”
“And might I ad: I thought all sin was sin and equal in the eyes of the Lord.”
“What in the world makes gayness such an issue for Christians?”
“Is it not the same as lying?”
“Should we not eat shrimp, get tattoos, wear single woven fabrics, not have sex on a woman’s period or close after it?”
“If she really believed in the Bible’s teachings she would have no problem being stoned to death.”
“Why have we not outlawed alcohol?”
“Why have we not outlawed lying?”
“I thought it was all the same.”
“Goes to show how lost Christian’s, 99%, pick and choose what they want to believe.”
“Meaning they are choosing to be bigoted, they are choosing to be nasty, and using god as a feeble cover for their deplorable actions.” ~ icebluemooninthecity
“NTA. At the core of it they all just seem to think her sin is forgivable and yours isn’t and I honestly don’t have enough patience for that blatant homophobia to say you could possibly suck in this situation.” ~ uhuhoneyville
“Sis should have not thrown stones when she herself is living in a glass house.”
“Whatever your beliefs are, it costs $0 to just be nice or keep your mouth shut.”
“She sounds like the worst kind of hypocrite.”
“If her religion is true, I’m sure she won’t end up in the clouds, let’s just say.”
“After all, we all know how Jesus specifically told people to be rude to gay folks and also patted homewreckers on the back.”
“I very high-key hope that guy cheats on your self-righteous sister, maybe that would bring her down a few pegs.”
“Do unto others…”
“Every time she brought up a sin I’d return volley. NTA.” ~ shelballama
“Sigh. I’m not into religion.”
“But, your sister actually needs to take something from religion.”
“Judge not least ye be judged. She committed adultery.”
“She decided to make a comment about sexuality of someone pretty much judging them.”
“She opened herself up to being judged by others.”
“You could have played nice for the rest of the night and then addressed it.”
“But I can understand your emotions getting the better of you.”
“So, I’m going to say NTA.”
“BUT, you could have handled it better at the time but understatedly were upset and handled it the way you did.” ~ unsungzero1027
“NTA. Your sister definitely was being homophobic towards your boyfriend.”
“Good for your for standing up for your boyfriend.”
“I’d maybe apologize to him for taking it to far (only if he was seriously offended) and discuss how you would like to handle any homophobic situations going forward.”
“Also I’m kinda happy you threw it back in your sister’s face.”
“I’ve noticed a lot of religious families overlook infidelity if they ‘do the right thing’ even though it hurts so many other people.” ~ Comfortable_Clock231
Well OP, Reddit is cheering for you.
Sounds like a little therapy for all could be a good idea.
Stay strong and proud.