Relationships are hard. It is difficult to navigate multiple people’s moods, needs, and wants simultaneously.
Redditor frog_grlz can attest to that. She recently got into a fight with her boyfriend and posted on subReddit “Am I The A**hole?” (AITA) and asked:
“AITA for screwing up my boyfriends interview by not doing his laundry on purpose?”
The OP was all too happy to air the couple’s dirty laundry.
“To keep this short my [25-year-old female] [boyfriend 26-year-old male] had a big interview on Friday that could jumpstart his career. He’s been planning for it for about 3 weeks.”
“Usually, I do all the laundry and take care of our flat in terms of cleaning.”
“On Wednesday, he told me he wanted to wear a very specific blazer, and it was in the bin to be washed.”
“I usually do laundry on the weekends because I am a full-time uni[versity] student + I work part-time so during the week is hard to make time to go to the laundromat.”
“I told him I would do it Thursday night though and he said ok.”
“(Mind you he hasn’t been working since he just graduated school in the fall semester so since the end of December, his parents help him pay the rent until he gets a job.)”
“Anyway, Thursday rolls around, and I get home from class and he’s just playing a video game and he immediately asks me when I’m going to do laundry since he’s very nervous and wants it to go perfectly.”
“I’m so tired from school [because] I had an exam he didn’t even ask me about, so I feel irritated and say I’m going to do it later, but I’m going to nap first. He again says ok, and he’s going to meet up with a friend for a drink to help calm his nerves.”
“Anyway, as the title says, I ended up not doing the laundry because I was tired and also partially pissed off.”
“He was super pissed, ended up wearing something else and saying that I screwed him up by not fulfilling what I agreed to.”
“I thought this might blow over since he said it still went well despite me “attempting to sabotage him,” but he is not speaking to [me] still and has even said he may go stay with his parents over this.”
“AITA?”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors weighed in:
“Am I wrong, or did the boyfriend ask for her to wash it pretty much a DAY before the interview?”
“If he asked Wednesday and the interview was Friday, he literally only gave her till Thursday to do it (ONE day).”
“AND he knows she only does laundry on weekends? So why didn’t he ask her to do it the previous weekend (OR if you dirtied it that week, he should’ve just not worn it since he knew he’d want to wear it for his interview??)”
“I think her grown-man boyfriend either doesn’t know how to do the laundry or was too lazy to do it, both of which are unacceptable if he’s going to then complain to her.”
“Then she says she’s too tired because she had an exam while he was at home playing video games, and his response is “WAHH BUT YOU PROMIIIISED”??”
“Sorry, but this was preventable on the boyfriend’s part.”
“Sure, he could’ve been disappointed since she agreed (seemingly forced to agree because she’s the one who does the laundry, so I wouldn’t necessarily even say she agreed).
“But he presumably had HOURS that day to go wash it himself since OP told him she was too tired to go, and slept until an hour before the laundromat closed (so he could’ve got off his behind and washed the blazer in that span of time since she already said she was tired).”
“But no, instead he went drinking with a friend. How is that an E S H?”
“If you know you need a blazer, wash it yourself, especially since he doesn’t seem to do anything else around the home. Girlfriend is not a laundry mommy. NTA.” – exitdate
“There was nothing stopping him from washing it on his own. If it was that important, he should have done it.”
“That being said, he asked you to do it, and you said you would. But you didn’t do it.”
“ESH” – mdthomas
The OP wanted to provide some clarification.
“When I got home I did tell him I was tired and I asked if he could do it, but he started saying that I had promised And he had plans with his friend already, so I agreed again afterward and then I took a nap and overslept and when I woke up there was only an hour before the laundromat closed, so I could have still gone, but it would’ve been really rushed (and I was probably being a bit petty)”
“Also the blazer is from H&M.”
Reddit took information that and ran with it.
“Excuse me, he’s jobless and relying on his parents, and she cooks and cleans plus goes to uni while also working, yet she’s partly to blame; in what world?”
“If he had time to play video games and meet up with friends, then he had time to get his blazer cleaned since he wasn’t that stressed. Time to get rid of the extra weight. NTA.” – imhere4blkpeople
“This is the answer.”
“I get the ESH comments focusing on OP saying she’d do the laundry, then not doing it.”
“But, if this was so very important to the boyfriend if he was genuinely preparing for weeks, he had plenty of time and opportunity to clean his interview outfit himself or take it to be professionally cleaned and pressed if he didn’t trust himself with the task.”
“The only answer is that the power play opportunity and irresponsibility were more important to boyfriend than the interview.” – evil_nala
“Yes. I would have said E-S-H, since she said she’d do it, but then she said she works part-time and is a full-time student and does all the household chores and laundry.”
“He’s not in school or working right now. What the hell is he doing with all his time? Why isn’t he helping with any of the household chores, including HIS OWN LAUNDRY?!”
“NTA. He can do his own laundry if he wants it done.” – sigdiff
“ESH. If it was so important to him to wear the blazer, he could have washed it himself, but you agreed to do it, and then you deliberately didn’t do it. You’re both being petty” – ExistenceRaisin
“NTA”
“Your boyfriend is 26 years old, not 6. He’s old enough to do his own laundry.” – QueenVell
“ESH”
“You agreed. That’s on you. He seems like he should live at home instead of with a GF.” – PsiBlaze
“This sounds to me like there is something more going on. The fact that you are annoyed with him for not asking about your day says a lot.”
“People don’t usually go from 0 to 60. You mentioned you do all the cleaning. I think there’s some resentment here, hon.”
“While I don’t really have a full verdict, except maybe ESH on both your parts for the pettiness here, I do have advice.”
“Please talk to each other. Whatever is going on, it’s time to really resolve it.”
“This ain’t about the Iranian yogurt!” – WendigoQueenie
“ESH. You knew that you were busier when you agreed to do the laundry.”
“He had the audacity to prod you about doing his laundry while drinking and playing video games.”
“I would totally back you if you were to point out to him that he is not pulling his weight and to do his own laundry as well as some of yours while he’s at it.”
“Instead, you did not fulfill your promises. IMO – you seriously need to have a conversation and divvy up the household tasks more fairly.” – 3Dog_Nitz
“Man. Your bf sounds infuriating but I have to go with ESH.”
“You did say you were going to do it. He should have definitely just done it himself, but you should have said that to him (earlier than Thursday night).”
“I think he’s being pretty overly dramatic in the aftermath, though. He’s not speaking to you and said you “attempted to sabotage him” because he couldn’t wear the specific thing he wanted to wear?”
“Dump him and find a grown-up to date. And work on your communication skills in the meantime.” – cosmococoa
“NTA”
“He’s a grown man who KNOWS he has an important interview & wanted to wear a specific item.”
“That’s was 100% on him to make sure it was clean & ready to go. His lack of preparation isn’t on you.” – zadidoll
“ESH.”
“He’s old enough to be able to do his own laundry when needed, even more so if he considered his outfit that important and he’d been looking forward to this interview for so long, but him not asking you about an exam when he was anxious himself shouldn’t have been so blown out of proportion.”
“You could’ve told him you were tired and stressed and communicated things in a better way. It was kinda petty, and both of you sound immature, tbh.”– ragtungsten
While the reviews are mixed, it is clear that this couple needs to work on their communication.