Sometimes when we experience something for the first time and don’t really like it, we don’t realize how good we actually have it.
That is, until we repeat the situation under worse circumstances, pointed out the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor atlalexo88 paid for plane tickets for himself and his girlfriend to go home to see his family for Christmas after years of visiting her family instead.
Because she was flying for the first time, the Original Poster (OP) was shocked by the number of things his girlfriend chose to complain about.
He asked the sub:
“AITA for downgrading my girlfriend’s flight from Business to Economy?”
The OP was excited to visit his family with his girlfriend for Christmas.
“My girlfriend (29) is Malaysian, and I’m American (32). We both live together in Malaysia and have for the past few years.”
“I’ve spent Christmas with her family in Malaysia three years in a row. This year, we traveled to the US to visit my family for Christmas.”
“Our plan was for me to stay until mid-January since I hadn’t seen my family since before the pandemic, and for her to go back on the 28th so she didn’t need to take too much time off work.”
“I paid for our flights with credit card points, which required me to book two one-way trips for each of us. I booked us in Business class both ways.”
“My girlfriend had never flown at all before and was excited for her first flight to be in Business class.”
But the OP’s girlfriend was not so happy about her experience.
“Unfortunately, she complained about how it wasn’t very nice almost every step of the way back (It was 26 hours of flight time).”
“She complained that the bed wasn’t comfortable. She said the food was terrible. She complained that the lounges were too busy.”
“She even complained that the privacy partition and door at her seat on the plane were pointless since they weren’t high enough and people could see over them.”
“She also said the wine selection wasn’t extensive enough.”
The OP’s girlfriend thought she had a better plane for the trip home.
“I told her Business class was still infinitely better than Economy class, and she said, ‘I doubt that. I actually wouldn’t mind flying back in Economy since Business was so s**t.'”
“I tried to show her how cramped the Economy class is and how little privacy she’d have, but she said, ‘Business didn’t have any privacy either. Seriously, save your points and just get me an Economy ticket back.'”
“So, I went ahead and downgraded her flight back to Malaysia to save the 85k points since she really didn’t like Business class anyway.”
The girlfriend tried to blame the OP for her trip home.
“While she was en route home, she texted me from the plane, saying, ‘I can’t believe you’d let me fly like all the way back to Malaysia like this. This is awful.'”
“I reminded her that she said the Business class was also awful, and she said she wouldn’t mind flying back Economy, but she’s still p**sed and convinced I’m an a**hole for changing the flight.”
“AITA for changing her flight when I knew she’d hate Economy class?”
“She’s convinced that I am, but I think that’s a bit unfair as she explicitly told me she wanted me to change her flight to Economy and she ignored my recommendation to look at what that might be like before I changed it.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some questioned the girlfriend’s constant complaints.
“Your mistake was getting a business class flight for someone who has never flown before.”
“Let’s face it, flying sucks, even business class (I regularly fly Business class for work and domestic but fly Economy International when I travel with family).”
“Let’s be honest, the lounges are too busy and the food does suck (in the lounges and on the flights) and the seats are still a bit too hard, and when it’s fully reclined, it’s as comfortable as a cheap college dorm futon.”
“BUT all that is infinitely better than Economy class. Compared to what you have to go through in Economy, Business class is a DREAM!”
“The food you wouldn’t eat outside the airplane all of the sudden feels like a luxury. Some of the lounges in airports even have showers which are great on 24+ hour travel. None of this can be appreciated unless you go through the h**l-like experience of traveling Economy International.”
“What you should have done was flown Economy going to the US and given her a Business class ticket back. You would have been the husband of the year, but hindsight is 20/20.”
“Anyway, you tries to do something nice and it wasn’t appreciated. NTA.” – Crafty_Editor_4156
“Lol (laughing out loud), NTA.”
“I think it was a mistake to have her experience Business class as her first-ever flying experience. But I’m a little surprised still that she complained so much. Did she have window seats? Normally when people fly for the first time, they are a little engrossed in the flying part.” – zeroep
“Qatar Airways is the best business class I’ve ever been on, if she didn’t like QSuites she’s not going to like anything. I can’t imagine having my first flight in business though, everything else would seem terrible by comparison. Guess she learned a lesson!” – Hairy_Dirt3361
“NTA. You did as she asked. She f**ked around and found out because she refused to listen to you and apparently has nothing nice to say about anything. Three years? Is this her pattern?” – Techn0ght
“So first off, whoever said Business food sucks has not tried EVAS, Air Canada, or Turkish when it was amazing like a decade or so ago. The food I had at EVAS Business was better than a lot of upscale restaurants I’ve been to.”
“Two, OP, you seem oddly ok with recognizing the overall lack of gratitude and effort from your girlfriend.”
“Even if I don’t like something my partner got me, I always make a point of saying thank you and acknowledging the effort/forethought that went into the action/present/experience/ whatever you want to call it. Because that should be recognized.”
“Because he didn’t need to be kind and go out of his way to think of my comfort or what I might like.”
“I’m not saying this as a criticism, it’s your relationship, do what you want. I know that if I were in your place, I’d feel at the very least continually disheartened. At worst, as if I’d never be good enough.”
“Again, if this isn’t a problem in your eyes, then it’s not a problem. I do think it’s worth a ponder though to make sure that’s actually the case.”
“Either way, NTA.” – marmartcat
Others agreed and urged the OP to think about his relationship.
“Honestly you’ve described a completely insufferable person and it sounded like there had to be some reason you stuck around other than for her sparkling personality.” – Fit_Sandwich9551
“You sound really lovely. She sounds absolutely horrible, and you don’t come across at all like you’re warping reality, in fact, you’ve been more than charitable by giving her the benefit of the doubt.”
“Best of luck on your journey, homie. You’ll find someone deserving of you when you’re ready for it.” – Fearless-Currency-65
“NTA.”
“You did exactly as she had asked. If you kept her in business class, she’d still be complaining about it. Either way… it’s a lose-lose situation for you. She would have complained either way.”
“Good grief she sounds exhausting and entitled and spoiled. Is she normally this rude?”
“Oh and tell her next time you fly…. she can pay for the seats… or better yet… she can hire her own private jet with her own money.”
“Good luck to you OP in this relationship. Hope she’s worth it, man.” – silly_vengeful_sloth
“Is she’s normally so ungrateful, demanding and spoiled? Those are bad traits in a partner but the fact that she refuses to accept responsibility for her own decisions and tries to pin the blame on you is worse. I would really put some thought into your relationship objectively.” – DutyValuable
“NTA, but you might be if you continue this relationship. The negative energy and self-entitlement will suck the life out of you.” – MidniteProph
“OP, you might not want to hear this, but your girlfriend is using you. For all we know, you might be using her, too (i.e. you fund her lifestyle; she stays attractive).”
“It’s hard to say what your dynamic is without more info, but what is clear is that there is no love in this relationship, at least on her end.”
“I hope you use this as an opportunity to reevaluate your relationship. For your own sake before it ruins you.” – balalasaurus
After receiving feedback, the OP shared some additional thoughts in the comments.
“Man, I didn’t expect this post to cause me to self-reflect as much as it has, lol (laughing out loud). But yeah, if I had to give a reason as to why I’ve stuck around this long I’d say… my lifelong history of abuse at the hands of people that were supposed to love and take care of me has warped my perception of what is and isn’t healthy and acceptable from a partner in a relationship. Something along those lines.”
“Honestly, now that I think about it, this is kind of a pattern for her. For her birthday in November, I took her to one of the nicest restaurants in Kuala Lumpur as a treat. It was some of the best food I’ve ever had. She didn’t have anything positive to say about it at all.”
The subReddit was frustrated on his behalf when the OP’s girlfriend clearly couldn’t look at the brighter side of traveling via airplane and going to the United States to visit for the first time.
Though he didn’t want to think so, the girlfriend’s negativity may have reflected more about their relationship than the soured trip did.