Everyone has had the experience of having to listen to an inappropriate joke. But some jokes are so inappropriate they cross way, way over a line.
A woman on Reddit found herself dealing with the latter situation when her parademic boyfriend told a truly appalling story from her job as if it was a funny anecdote.
He got angry when she didn’t laugh, so she wasn’t sure about how she’d handled things. So she went to the AITA (Am I The A**hole) subReddit for perspective.
The Original Poster (OP), who goes by adventurous_or_bored on the site, asked:
“AITA for reacting with disgust to my boyfriend sharing an experience he had as a paramedic?”
“Hi, I am 23f dating a 33m. I’m feeling super conflicted right now after my boyfriend just shared a story with me about an experience he had while working as a paramedic.”
“Basically, he told me this with the preface that it was a funny but extremely messed up story. He has a twisted sense of humor and his partner at work does, too… but I felt this was too far.”
“On to the story: he arrived on scene of a 25 year old dead girl who had drowned and part of his job is to pronounce people dead and obtain a time of death. His partner and he unzipped the mesh bag that her body was in, and his partner said ‘turn her over. I wanna see that ass. Did you see the way her back was arched when she was laying flat?'”
“My boyfriend proceeded to flip her over to see her ass (she wasn’t naked, but wearing a bikini), and then flip her back and put her back in the bag. The police officers on the scene looked at them in disgust.”
“My boyfriend expected me to laugh, but I think this is too far, and violative, and frankly a little gross. He says it’s not that serious and regrets sharing it with me.
Redditors were then asked to judge who was in the wrong in this situation based on the following categories:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
As you might guess, the Redditors were appalled by this story and firmly on OP’s side.
“If I were in your shoes, I’d break up with him because there’s no way I’d be able to look at him the same way. I’d probably go a step further and report them.”
“It’s creepy that your boyfriend and his partner sexualized the corpse of a girl who tragically lost her life. It’s so disgusting and so disrespectful. It makes me wonder if they do the same with live unconscious people.”
“They shouldn’t be allowed to work with vulnerable people or anyone for that matter. So gross.” –SnooTomatoes6167
“Honestly, I’m 100% for reporting him and his trash partner. I feel like anyone who can do that to a girl who just drowned in front of a group of cops is going to do a hell of a lot worse behind closed doors.” –no_rxn
“Also, if this is the story he shares for a laugh with his girlfriend that paints a pretty damning picture of the things he might say or think in private or with his buddies.” –TheRulerT
“There’s a line between gallows humor and straight up predatory behavior and this dude leapt across it with this little stunt. So gross even the cops thought he went too far.”
“This is definitely an instant dump.” –DiTrastevere
“This is creepy and disrespectful behaviour and it really shows his character. I would end the relationship. NTA.” –VegetableCulture126
“It’s also creepy that a 33 year-old is dating a 23 year-old.”
“INB4 ‘eh, ten years isn’t that bad, when my mom and dad got together-‘ no, ten years is a big gap with those ages. I’m 32, and there’s no way I’d wanna date someone in their early 20’s, and I can’t think of a good reason someone in their 30’s would wanna spend a lot of time with the person I was at 23.”
“And okay, hypothetically, maybe that gap can work if the older partner is extremely empathetic and compassionate and has a good sense of boundaries, but he obviously does not.”
“He sexualized a fresh corpse and passes it off like a funny anecdote rather than a dark secret from his past. I’d be worried he’s developed other concerning coping mechanisms to deal with the stress of this job. OP, RUN from this man.” –VisualCelery
“The best part about it for me is that the BF included the part where the responding cops on the scene didn’t find it funny either. He already got feedback on the awful joke about the dead girl and couldn’t take the hint.” –Jesoko
“Honestly, AITA surprises me sometimes but this is a level of depraved that would seriously freak me out. They thought it was FUNNY to sexualize a woman who had died tragically, and the implied necrophilia… Jesus fu*king Christ. Id break up with him and report him and his partner, in that order.” –orangeandpinwheel
“…First of all: NTA. Not at all.”
“OP, I‘m a former nurse and I‘m in medschool (in 5th year out of 6, in Europe) right now. I‘d say my sense of humour is quite messed up. I believe most of people working in medicine have a very unique sense of humour.”
“Not because we find it funny when something bad happens, but because sometime it helps us getting through the day. But one thing is to make jokes, speaking them out loud. Another thing is to actually do something to a patient or someone.”
“This girl‘s corpse’s still a patient and is still a human being. One thing that we learn working in medicine is that human beings still have the right of human dignity after death. And by doing what he did he actually lost all respect for this poor girl.”
“He took away her dignity. And that’s 100% not okay. If someone told me something like this, I’d not only look disgusted and speak up, I’d report this person.”
“Also: maybe, by turning over her body, he erased some evidence, like a hair somewhere on her body. This guy definitely shouldn‘t be working as a paramedic. This guy is a perv who should rethink his life choices.”
“I‘m disgusted and I‘m mad for this poor girl who not only lost her life, but her dignity. It was taken away from her from the person who should have protected it the most. Please overthink this relationship. Your bf had no right to do what he did and he has no respect for others.” –babsibu
Here’s hoping OP finds a different boyfriend, and fast.