Animal shelters and rescues refer to adoptions as the animal finding its “forever home.”
Before adopting a pet, they hope people make a commitment to the animal for its life, not just until the pet becomes inconvenient.
That’s the way Redditor -Undo saw things, but his ailurophobic girlfriend had a different opinion which led to irreconcilable differences. So he took to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit to get clarity.
Redditor -Undo asked:
“AITA for not giving my cat for adoption because my [girlfriend] (GF) has a phobia?”
He explained:
“My GF of two years is scared of cats, and I mean REALLY scared of cats.”
“I have had this cat for 7 years.”
“At first when she came to my place I had to take the cat outside, close all windows or doors and make sure my cat didn’t sneak up to play with me or something like that.”
Finally his girlfriend gave him an ultimatum.
“Long story short, she couldn’t take it anymore and told me that she feels really uncomfortable knowing that there is a cat lurking around and that she wouldn’t come to my place again if I didn’t get rid of my cat.”
They tried therapy.
But rather than working on his girlfriend’s ailurophobia, they worked on getting rid of his cat.
“We tried therapy but it looks like the therapy is for me to cope with the loss of my pet.”
“I don’t want to give my cat away so last Saturday we talked about this and broke up.”
“Now I feel like sh*t for ruining my relationship. AITA?”
He then shared a photo of the kitty in question.
Redditors then voted whether the Original Poster (OP) or his girlfriend was:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors overwhelmingly decided the OP was NTA in this scenario.
“NTA. But personally if I had to choose between a pet of 7 years or a girl I’m choosing the pet 10/10 times.” ~ NZafe
“NTA all day 24/7 pick the cat/ dog/snake” ~ salemonadetea
“NTA, kitty was there first, and gf sounds like she needs the therapy if she is going to freak out about being anywhere near a cat. Your cat is freakin adorable [by the way].” ~ VorVixen
“NTA, it sounds like your living situation is not compatible. It’s not reasonable for your girlfriend to expect you to get rid of a treasured pet.”
“It’s a sad thing but I think you made the best choice with the options you had.” ~ timeTo_Kill
“I came to say basically this.”
“Having a cat is the price of admission to this relationship. If she’s not willing to pay that, then you gotta end things.”
“Pets are forever, not temporary. Would she expect you to give up a child if you had one?”
“I have a dog and a cat and they’ll be around a lot longer than anyone who tries to separate me from them. I think it says a lot about the people who would expect someone to get rid of the animal.” ~ mumbles411
A handful did vote there were NAH, but no one went with YTA or ESH.
“NAH. Pets are forever commitments and your gf can’t help her phobia. It sounds like you two are just incompatible right now.” ~ Jendi2016
“This is a sensible reply. He did say she tried therapy so she knows it’s phobia and irrational but that stuff is hard to control.” ~ SarkyCherry
And even the “no a**holes here” crowd got pushback.
“No he didn’t. He said, ‘We tried therapy but it looks like the therapy is for me to cope with the loss of my pet’. That does not indicate that she tried personal therapy to try work on her phobia at all.” ~ Darth_Revan22
“Yeah almost 100% positive OP is trying to indicate that the gf didn’t work her shit out at all and went to 2 sessions or something. NTA” ~ Gengar11
“Yeah, I’m not getting this NAH vibe at all personally…”
“Like, if she’s got that incompatibility, it’s like, ‘Cool, I can’t date people with cats’ is her life, not, ‘Lol I’ll make boys get rid of cats cuz this the only pu**y they need!'”
“How is making someone give up their friend and family of seven years for you not a d*ck move?” ~ mewthulhu
The OP came back to thank people for weighing in on his situation.
“HOLY CR*P! I didn’t expect this amount of response!”
“Thank you everyone for taking the time and leaving your comment.”
“It is hard to understand that things and plans sometimes doesn’t work or go the way we want and that is fine, that is life. It is harder when feelings are involved.”
While his two year relationship may be over, his seven year relationship with his little furry feline friend endures.