Redditor ross-buchanan is a dog parent with their girlfriend.
Recently the Original Poster’s (OP’s) girlfriend made a huge mistake.
Thinking she was feeding the dog treats, she in fact risked poisoning them when she fed him grapes.
The OP was understandably upset and turned to subReddit “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) for advice.
They asked:
“AITA for not wanting to split the £1,200 vet bill for her accidentally poisoning of our dog with grapes?”
They went on to explain.
“My girlfriend and I recently got a rescue dog and everything has been going well. Getting his vaccines, neutering etc and all the vet bills have been split 50:50.”
“He is still uninsured as we still have one vaccine left. Until that point any other treatment we need to pay cash.”
“Yesterday I got home from work my partner wanted to show me ‘the dog newest favourite treat’ – Grapes. I was shocked to say the least.”
“So off to the emergency vets we go. The treatment we got him were gold standard to reduce the risk of any long term impact on his liver/kidneys. However this then cost £1,200.”
“I do believe she made a genuine mistake but the way I see it, is that this is dog ownership 101. She is a dog person having had dogs her whole life.”
“It makes me sick that I will have to pay ~£600 for her feeding our dog three grapes.”
“AITA for asking her to pay the entire bill as this was her mistake?”
“Edit: Some people are reading this like I chose to go to vets and selected the treatment.”
“Once she realized she was feeding the dog poison, we both decided to go straight to the ER vet as it was late at night (why the cost was so high).”
“We then both took the advice and went with the best course of treatment to reduce long-term issues.”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided:
“If you agreed 50/50, you should pay half. End of story. Otherwise, you’ll have to have some ridiculous tribunal to determine whose fault it is any time the dog gets himself f*cked up.”
“She made a mistake, but you’re a team and you need to share the consequences.” – Smaggies
“Yeah, there is no benefit to the blame game.”
“I went through a similar situation; partner didn’t know about dogs and grapes”
“I knew.immediately that he is a) a good dog owner, trying his best b) if the dog died the guilt would destroy him c) we have a whole life together, we’re both going to f*ck up”
“We went to the ER, we got the best services (also had insurance), and the puppers is back to being her usual hilarious mess.”
“Our relationship didn’t fall apart, because we both know he loves the dog. We both pick up poop, wash her, take her to the vet, give her meds, clean up after her, etc. We both are her parents.”
“He didn’t need me yelling at him because he was terrified he accidentally killed his first dog. there was no delay in picking the recommended treatment.”
“Our relationship is stronger for it. There was no fighting, just fear and sadness. We comforted each other.”
“Puppers came back to a happy home, with a very strict ‘this dog only eats her dog treats and dog food’ rule.”
“No people food (unless she thieves it, which we try our best to avoid). We have a printout of toxic foods, and we include it in our dog babysitting printouts” – waxingtheworld
“NTA, a dog person who has had dogs their whole life should know what dogs can eat, and if you don’t, you at least know there are things dogs shouldn’t be eating.”
“When I got my puppy, any time I wanted to feed her something new, it took 5 seconds to google ‘can dogs eat banana’ or whatever.”
“Sharing cost should be for unavoidable things, not carelessness.” – witch_harlotte
“YTA gently – I get it was a dumb mistake on her part, but this is a responsibility you two agreed to take on together and you dont get to pick and chose when you’re responsible”
“Also, you should have already had pet insurance as there’s no vaccine requirement. Usually you just have a two-week period for the insurance to kick in, then you’re good” – jrm1102
“I’m not sure. You agreed 50/50, but your girlfriend made a mistake. Is it fair to penalize somebody for making a mistake?”
“On the other hand when you get any new pet, you should definitely look up what’s dangerous for them and obviously avoid it, which she didn’t do.”
“I think I would split it this time, make sure she knew things to avoid for next time, and sign up for the pet insurance right now.”
“As an aside, my granddaughter dropped a grape, and my 3-pound Yorkie snatched it up in the blink of an eye. Of course, it was a Sunday, so my vet was closed so off to the emergency vet we go.”
“They tried to make her vomit, but she wasn’t giving up the grape for anything. They had to give her an IV for four days to cleanse her kidneys to the tune of $3300.”
“Moral of the story, things happen. I’m glad your dog is okay now” – suziespends
“NAH – im a lifelong dog owner, and I still look up any food I’ve never fed a dog before we let the dog eat it.”
“Once you learn that chocolate, onion, xylitol, etc can kill a dog, a bit of food paranoia is important.”
“That said, accidents happen, and while it’s absolutely valid, you feel that she landed you in this mess…”
“…if you start apportioning cost to blame on vet bills, youre going to start doing some weird math in the future.” – notwhelmed
“I’d say YTA. how would you want her to react if (and when) you made a mistake? You’re supposed to be a team.”
“Admittedly she made a perhaps pretty stupid mistake, and it’s frustrating, especially since you just got the dog. But I think that’s part of being a team.”
“She probably feels pretty crappy about it and has learned her lesson.”
“However, it’d also be decent if your partner at least offered to pay the bill. Just as an acknowledgment that she’s at fault. Even if you then pay together.” – Longbooks4
“I guess it depends on how much you value the relationship. You own the dog jointly and it was an accident. She did not know how dangerous grapes were.”
“It would only have been a mistake if she knew would hurt the dog.”
“Suck it up and pay half the bill. Next time it could be you who caused an ‘accident’, and the bill could be even higher. Bad stuff happens.”
“This is part of owning a pet. Also part of being in a relationship.” – Maximum-Swan-1009
“YTA because you don’t want to set this precedent. You don’t want to start a pattern with putting the entire cost of the dog on one person due to reasons, however valid they may be.”
“You both got this dog together – you are responsible together.”
“I will also add that many lifelong dog owners don’t know about grapes being dangerous because the severity of grapes differs widely from breed to breed.”
“I caught my in-laws feeding our dog grapes because they gave them to their dogs (all the same breed) as treats for decades with no negative effects.”
“Our dog ate 3-4 grapes and was fine, and likely would be fine if they ate 3-4 grapes in the future, but we obviously don’t risk it.”
“We did almost lose our dog to xylitol poisoning. Some companies are adding it to traditional dog-friendly items like peanut butter.” – EmpressJainaSolo
“You can ask, but also think about the long-term consequences. Do you want a long-term relationship?”
“Will you make her pay for every mistake she makes? Will you be willing to pay solely for every mistake you make?”
“You don’t WANT to split the cost, and NTA for that, but you may decide to split the cost because you adopted the dog together and you want to stay with her and the doggy.” – Quick-Possession-245
“Umm ESH…. You seriously overreacted. Three grapes, no matter what Google’s top search is, isn’t going to kill your dog.”
“17 grapes to a 5kg dog, yes, maybe. She didn’t poison your dog; you and your vet just assumed it happened.”
“I would have waited it out and watched for any kind of reaction first, tbh. Asked on Reddit for other dog owners’ experience. A paid online vet website. Then made a decision.”
“The truth is dogs get into things all the time, and it takes A LOT to actually trigger anything.”
“Ask anyone who has owned multiple dogs, they will have waited and kept a close eye on things – anyone saying you were justified either doesn’t own a dog or is inexperienced.”
“I know you were scared, but your overreaction caused a 1200 bill that you’re handing to your girlfriend.”
“And yes, your girlfriend was dumb to do this without googling what to feed dogs. It is a good thing you stopped her when you did.” – nothanksnottelling
That’s an expensive mistake that they will hopefully never make again.
We also hope they’ll make an agreement to split all of their fur baby’s expenses going forward, as ownership was a joint decision.