Redditor Simple-Band-9096 recently made an account at the behest of their son.
The Original Poster (OP) made their inaugural post regarding a recent incident where they were pressured into babysitting their grandchildren for an extended period.
The OP reluctantly agreed.
While they were in charge of the kids, the OP chose to attend a birthday party at Epcot in Disneyworld, bringing the grandkids with them.
When the mother-in-law found out her kids’ first trip to Disney was without her, she lost it.
This drove the OP to make their Reddit account and take to subReddit, “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA).
They asked:
“AITA for taking my grandchildren to Disney for the first time without their mother and refusing to apologize when confronted?”
They went on to explain:
“My son made this account and asked me to post this story because he claims my normal meter is skewed, and the internet is going to tell me I am an a**hole.”
“I recently babysat my grandchildren (5 and 4) for a period of four nights and five days so my son and his wife could attend a wedding in Mexico, and spend a few days on vacation.”
“They approached me since her mother would not be available, and I initially said I wasn’t comfortable with that.”
“It seemed like a long time to watch the kids, and she has point blank told me that the woman’s family is more important than the man’s, so I was irritated I was being asked and not her mother.”
“I will admit that I did give in when my son became very emotional, but I felt/feel like they were being manipulative.”
“While I had the kids, I was invited to a birthday at Epcot and wanted to go.”
“It didn’t even occur to me to run it by my son or daughter-in-law, as I had the kids for an extended period of time, and obviously, they knew they would be going where I went.”
“My daughter-in-law had previously mentioned wanting to save up for Disney, but she’s said that about a lot of things and never made me aware it was something super special to her.”
“Also, it was Epcot. It’s not like I took them to Magic Kingdom and they had some magical moment of seeing their favorite character.”
“When they returned and found out, my daughter-in-law was furious and burst into tears. She said I stole one of her kids first and called me entitled.”
“To be honest I didn’t react well to being called entitled, when she was the one who had previously demanded babysitting.”
“My son asked me to apologize as she was distraught over missing their first Disney trip, but I declined and asked them to leave.”
“My son reached out again and said I should have asked for something that big, and his wife feels robbed.”
“I know she is a huge Disney person, but it was Epcot, not quintessential Disney, and I don’t feel I should have had to miss out on a birthday party I wanted to attend.”
“I told my son I am not apologizing for anything, and maybe they should think about how they made me feel when they didn’t respect my initial no.”
“My son feels like Reddit is going to show me the error of my ways.”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided:
“I hope your son feels humbled here today.”
“NTA”
“They imposed on you to watch their children. You did exactly as they requested. You’ve done nothing wrong.”
“You are not responsible for your rude daughter-in-law crying. Tears don’t make a person right.”
“The only entitled behaviour is your son and daughter-in-law.”
“They guilted you into accepting something that you expressed you were not comfortable with, and then got upset in how you took care of their children for them.”
“You shouldn’t have to forgo your plans because they did not secure childcare before going on vacation. Again, you’ve done nothing wrong.”
“She deserves no apology. She can pout and whine all she wants- she was the one who put you into an uncomfortable situation. She never said not to go there, and you’re not a f*cking mind reader.”
“Next time they ask something like this, tell them you can’t deal with the negative reaction of daughter-in-law and aren’t willing to subject yourself to her behaviour.” – BulbasaurRanch
“Yeah, NTA. I’m guessing you paid for the kids to go to Epcot & fed and paid for any other excursions during those days??”
“And all in the name of trying to spend some fun quality time with your grandkids. I know it was probably a lot of work, but you enjoyed it!”
“So instead of a SUPER GINORMOUS thank you for the money and time you spent with the kids, allowing the parents to go away on a vacation without the kids…”
“…you’re called an entitled & demanded an apology?? Hell to the N O!! Daughter-in-law is the CLEAR a**hole, and son too, for agreeing with his wife.”
“Also, extra AH to your son, given he thought he and his entitled wife would be ‘vindicated’ by posting here.”
“He probably wanted to shame you publicly, but the laughs on the 2 of them!! I hope they are reading these comments!!🤣🤣” – StrawberryKittyKat4
“Since your son was so insistent on you posting this to Reddit and assuming you would be shredded, boy, is he wrong to assume.”
“I do hope he takes the time to read each and every one of these comments.”
“He and his wife are incredibly entitled to force the babysitting duties on you because they think ‘the woman’s family is more important than the man’s,’ or whatever stupid logic that is.”
“You told them no. That should have been enough. Then your son decided to use emotions to manipulate you into being their free babysitter.”
“Maybe this is a blessing because they may not ask you to babysit in the future.”
“As far as Epcot goes, it’s just one park out of the several Disney parks in the Orlando area.”
“They can still take their kids whenever they decide to save up the money after their Mexico trip, and the kids will be able to see plenty of Disney attractions for the first time.”
“You did these kids a favor by making their time with you enjoyable. Since this was supposed to be your time without having to babysit, you just made it more enjoyable for you, too.”
“NTA” – jasperjamboree
“NTA. You were doing them a favour by babysitting for multiple days. You were invited somewhere for a birthday party.”
“You attended. Because you had the kids, you took them along. It’s not like you schemed to undermine the plan to take them to Disney.”
“Wife needs to back the hell off, and son needs to stop being a pushover. I do feel like you reacted strongly to her and probably didn’t need to, but really, bursting into tears?”
“That’s ridiculous behavior, and they’ve been thoroughly ungrateful.”
“HOWEVER. How you choose to proceed here will dictate all your relationships moving forward. It’s clear wife is the reactive one and son won’t contradict.”
“So. You have the choice of being Reddit-approved Not the Problem Here and watching them ignore that and you.”
“That means probably less interaction with them and your grandkids and potentially awkwardness at family functions.”
“Or you could reach out again and just say, look, Reddit says I’m fine here.”
“However I now understand that you placed great value on going to Disney with them first, and you aren’t able to do so because I took your kids along to a birthday party I had been invited to attend.”
“I am sorry my action upset you. It was not my intention. I enjoyed spending time with your kids (insert anecdote here).”
“Basically, you could apologize that you taking them to (not quite) Disney caused her upset, without apologizing for taking them there.”
“It was a magnanimous gesture to indicate you understand she was hurt. Reaching out first might give them the ability to then reach back with their own response.”
“Inlaws are a big pain sometimes, especially when you know they’re not mature enough to have an honest conversation. Being the bigger person is sometimes the only productive way forward.”
“And in case wife and son are reading this-what the heck, you guys? You got DAYS of free babysitting out of this and you can always take the kids to actual Disney if it’s soooo important.”
“Try not to nuke your relationships for no reason.” – kathryn_sedai
“INFO: Can I get any detail on the whole ‘the woman’s family matters more than the man’s’ bit? Because if that’s just as cut and dry as you state, then I really have no sympathy for DIL.”
“You had kids foisted on you by an inconsiderate mother because you were seen as convenient.”
“And now she’s mad about something her kids are gonna forget anyways, so she can still give them their first Disney memories.”
“ETA: NTA, unless you’re fooling everyone with a slanted take. As written, DIL is annoying.” – Round-Brick5909
There are still plenty of Disney-related firsts for this Mom to share with her kids.
And thank you tends to be the most magic words of them all.