Most people are honored when they're asked to be in a wedding party.
As it is an indication of how much they mean to their friend, who wants them to stand with them on their special day.
What often dampens their excitement, however, is learning what they'll have to wear on the day of the wedding.
Even if they are anything but enamored by the chosen outfit, most people hide their disdain and oblige their friend or family member's request.
Others, however, are unafraid to share their dissatisfaction.
Redditor Minimum-Warthog-2266 was soon to be married.
Unlike most brides, the original poster (OP) gave her bridesmaids some flexibility when it came to their bridesmaid dresses.
Unfortunately, the OP wasn't flexible enough for her sister, choosing a dress that didn't fit any one of the OP's specifications.
When the OP addressed this issue with her sister, she was accused of being "jealous", as well as a "bridezilla."
Wondering if this was the case, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**Hole" (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
"AITA for asking my sister to wear a green dress as the bridesmaid to my wedding?"
The OP explained why she and her sister found themselves at odds over a bridesmaid's dress:
"I'm getting married in 3 weeks and Im so excited."
"I really didn't want to deal with the stress of planning and pregnancy so I offloaded a lot of this to some really great planners."
"I fell in love with a concept they showed me that involved the bridesmaids wearing these sage green dresses."
"I wanted the girls to be comfortable so I let them choose whatever dress they wanted so long as it was sage green."
"I floated the idea of having them choose their own dresses, but they were all happy to commit to the theme."
"I was very excited about this but my sister has just informed me she'll be wearing a 'icy blue' dress instead."
'She told me she took a Korean color analysis, and she feels it suits her complexion better."
"Also her 'icy blue' looks almost white there, and I'd rather she not wear that to my wedding."
"I wish she told me in advance if she was planning on doing this, because now everybody else has sage green and it will look odd to have one bridesmaid not matching."
"Now she's telling me Im being a bridezilla and overly controlling for asking her to just wear the green dress."
"She even accused me of being jealous that she gets to look beautiful on the wedding day while I'll be heavily pregnant, which isn't true at all."
"I just want the day to be special and stress-free, but maybe Im the obstacle to this right now."
"AITAH?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA - Not The A**hole
- YTA - You're The A**hole
- NAH - No A**holes Here
- ESH - Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for demanding her sister wear a green dress as one of her bridesmaids.
Everyone agreed that if anyone was "jealous" in this situation, it was the OP's sister, with many encouraging her to ban her from the wedding completely:
"Main character syndrome is so exhausting."
"NTA."
"Guess you should have one less bridesmaid, no telling what else she will do or say to have the spotlight on her."- nonsenseandvitriol
"NTA."
“'Sis, you can wear ice blue as a guest or sage green as a bridesmaid. Which is it going to be?'”- ChaosCoordinator42
"NTA."
"Sage green is a completely normal bridesmaid requirement, especially when she can choose the actual dress."
"Changing the color three weeks before the wedding and calling you jealous is ridiculous."- coolfly94
"'But not a real green dress, that's cruel!'"
"Come on, someone had to say it (Love the BNLs)."
"J/K of course."
"Sage green is fine and sis need not deviate from the color scheme."
"NTA."- New_Sun6390
"NTA."
"The bride choosing the color of the bridesmaid’s dress is a common and understood rule for a wedding."
"If she can’t follow instructions, she can wear her blue dress and sit with everyone else during the ceremony."-Vegetable_Cream4403
"NTA lmao."
"Bridesmaids wearing a certain color is a tradition as old as time."
"She is wearing green."- EntertainmentHuge218
"NTA."
"Something I want to point out - a lot of comments say 'tell your sister if she can’t wear your color, she can’t be in the wedding party'."
"I don’t think you should be giving her another chance at this point; you can’t trust her."
"She’s resorted to insulting you to get her way, and who knows what other nonsense she will pull."
"You’ve made your needs clear, and she doesn’t want to respect that. It’s time to just say, ok, I hear you, and I’m relieving you of your bridesmaid duties."
"Thanks for letting me know where you stand."
"The end."- FernandoBasalt
"NTA."
"And 'icy blue' sounds like it’ll photograph white to me."- hurr4drama
"NTA."
"It's YOUR wedding and sage green isn't even ugly."
"She's also being rude and saying that she'll look better than you on your special day just bc you're pregnant?"
"That's actually so nasty to say."
"That would be enough for me to not even invite her anymore."
"This is your and your partner's day, not hers."- SoftJicama3607
"NTA, not at all."
"If it were some weird color I could maybe understand, but sage is a lovely color, and besides-- it's YOUR wedding!"
"Her color wheel isn't involved."- Grindersgirl
"NTA."
"Most brides pick out the exact dress for their bridesmaids."
"Sometimes they want a say in how their hair is done, what shoes they wear."
"You are the opposite of a Bride zilla."
"Your sister is TA."- hschosn1
"NTA."
"She's being difficult and wants to stand out."- InterestingAd2552
"NTA."
"Tell your sister if she cannot wear green, she cannot be in the wedding party."- OpenRecommendation11
"NTA."
"And now she’s a guest."- Strong_District_5894
"NTA."
"Your sister is being completely unreasonable."
"It's your wedding day; you selected a color theme; the bridal party should adhere to it."
"I have worn some atrocious colors to support the people I love."
"At the end of the day, OP, you'll have to decide what's more worth it to you: having your sister in your bridal party in an off-theme dress because she wants to be the center of attention OR having the vision for your wedding executed but dealing with family drama on the side, because you know she will not go down without a fight if you boot her from the wedding party."
"Sounds like your sister has issues but you're not fix those in three weeks so."
"If you're feeling really petty, tell a few of your friends to also wear Ice Blue to your wedding so she'll blend in with the other guests."- I_Have_Notes
"NTA."
"Your sister has stepped down as a bridesmaid by not adhering to your request."
"Asking bridesmaids to wear a specific color (even a specific dress!) is not an unusual requirement and agreeing to be a bridesmaid means that you agree."- Neon-Anonymous
"NTA."
"'Sorry sis, but I decided that all the bridesmaids are going to be wearing green. I'll be disappointed if you're unwilling to make that accommodation, but I'll still be honored to have you attend as a guest rather than as part of the wedding party'."- jeffsang
"Dear lord."
"It is definitely tradition for the bridal party to wear whatever color and style of dress the bride chooses, regardless of personal preferences."
"I would go so far as to say that it's one of the few things that are required of bridesmaids--if you agree to be in the bridal party, then you agree to wear what the bride chooses and to keep drama to a minimum."
"Everything else in the social contract for a bridal party is negotiable but those two things are pretty standard."
"Tell your sister that the bridal party is to wear sage green, and if she wants to wear a different color then she needs to step down from the bridal party."
"Don't argue or allow it to become drama, just calmly set the boundary and let her decide what side of it she wants to be on."
"NTA, but your sister is."- Bubbly_Chicken_9358
"NTA."
"Tell your sister that she can change in to whatever she wants for the reception, but during the photos and ceremony her bridesmaids will be in sage green, no matter which color came back as most flattering on their color analysis quiz."
"If she can’t do that, she sits with the other guests who are wearing whatever they want. I’ve been in multiple weddings, and not once did I wear something I was happy with."
"But I sucked it up and didn’t complain, because it wasn’t my wedding."- Creepy_flamingo_22
It's sadly telling that the OP's sister didn't ask her if it was alright to wear an ice blue dress instead of a sage green one.
Giving the impression that she likely always puts herself before others.
If so, the OP might want to take the Reddit community's advice seriously and ask herself whether it would be beneficial to include her sister in her wedding.
