People mourn in their own ways. And often, they have little control over their emotions while in that grieving state.
And so they usually receive patience from their friends and family.
But what happens when someone’s mournful tendencies begin to directly impact their loved ones?
One Redditor found herself forced to determine when a family member’s grieved behavior crossed a line. She posted about it all on the “Am I the A**hole (AITA)” subReddit.
The Original Poster (OP), known as Fluid_Community_4422 on the site, came right out with specifics in her title for the post.
“AITA for Telling my Sister to Stop Bringing up her Dead Baby?”
OP began by providing some context.
“So my [36-year-old female] sister [33-year-old female, Julie] had a baby die of SIDS 6 years ago. I tried to support her in all the ways I could.”
“She’s now in a support group with other moms who have lost babies and is getting better and thinking about possibly having or adopting another kid.”
But a new development brought things to the surface.
“My other sister [26-year-old female, Ashley] just had her first baby 3 months ago. All throughout her pregnancy and now while her baby is alive Julie keeps bringing up that the baby could die of SIDS.
“Like she’ll say things like ‘Don’t get too attached, you never know.’ “
“I had my first kid before everything that happened to Julie and I still had a fear of SIDS or that something may go wrong in general. But Ashley is really getting freaked out.”
That stress reached a new level recently.
“My family is ‘Podding’ together so Julie and I were at Ashley’s house yesterday trying to help out with the baby.”
“Julie kept freaking her out and mentioning SIDS to the point where Ashley started crying and saying ‘I really just want her to be ok’ (In reference to her baby)”
So OP tried to intervene.
“I took her in the other room and tried to calm her down by saying the baby wasn’t going to die but Julie kept yelling in from the other room ‘You never know.’ “
“I was really annoyed and when we went upstairs I asked her if maybe she could discuss this with a therapist or her support or even her husband.”
“She just kept saying ‘I don’t want to give Ashley false hope’ and things like that. I asked if she could please stop bringing up the idea of her baby dying in front on Ashley.”
But OP’s attempt at diplomacy left her needing some internet guidance.
“She got very annoyed and left suddenly. She hasn’t said anything to me or anyone else since yesterday.”
“I understand that this is probably triggering for her but it’s not Ashleys job to deal with that especially when she has a newborn and I don’t know how to help her so I feel like suggesting she talk to people who do know how to help her isn’t that bad but I do kinda feel like an AH for telling her to stop bringing it up.”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Most Redditors agreed with OP completely. In fact, they praised her conduct.