Many of us have incredibly wonderful friends with whom we would love to do practically everything.
That probably doesn’t include going on a honeymoon together, though, cringed the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
But Redditor Due-Understanding536 thought it was a wonderful idea to not only organize an amazing honeymoon but to invite their friends along for the ride.
But when he saw his new bride’s reservations, the Original Poster (OP) wondered if he was wrong.
He asked the sub:
“AITA for suggesting to my fiancée that we make our honeymoon inclusive to our friends?”
The OP came up with where he wanted to have his honeymoon.
“I’m getting married in 7 months. One week after the wedding, we will plan our honeymoon, which will be in a resort in our country, around a 2-hour flight.”
“The place we were going has always been a dream destination of me and my friends.”
“When I told them where we’d plan our honeymoon, they said how jealous they are and how they wish they could also go.”
Then he thought he could turn the honeymoon into a friends’ trip.
“I told them that we could consider the idea of making this a friend-inclusive honeymoon and they were very excited with the idea.”
“Sadly for many years, we hadn’t been able to plan the trip with the guys to that place because of our conflicting schedules but now pretty much is easier for us to be able to align our vacation days. So I thought this was a great chance.”
The concept thoroughly hurt the bride’s feelings.
“I announced it to my fiancée the other day and I thought she’d find it a cool idea but she got completely mad at me and started crying and telling me how much of an inconsiderate AH I am.”
“I tried to explain to her I didn’t do it with malice, I simply thought it would be a good chance for the guys to experience it, and I even told her she can tell some of her own friends if they want to join.”
“She told me that I’m ridiculous for insisting that this is a good idea and how she felt horrible because I’m inconsiderate because I made my honeymoon into a friendship trip when it’s supposed to be about us two.”
“She also says I’m an even bigger AH for discussing it with my friends and getting them excited about it when I didn’t consult her.”
The OP had mixed feelings.
“Honestly, I think she’s right on that part and I might be TA.”
“On the idea though, I didn’t think she’d mind that much. I thought it sounded fun.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some questioned the OP’s priorities.
“I can’t see any way around that narrative considering ‘the guys’ were so on board with the idea.”
“Man, why is Op even getting married? I can’t imagine marrying someone and them inviting friends on our honeymoon. Op doesn’t even know his future wife well enough to know that wouldn’t go well.”
“This is actually sad for the beginning of a marriage.” – Honest_Atmosphere_53
“I’d be reconsidering the whole marriage at this point. ‘Announcing’ his decision without considering her?”
“Turning it from a honeymoon into, essentially, a friends’ trip your brand new wife is also invited on? OP what the H**L were you thinking?”
“YTA. Fix this immediately and apologize if you want any chance of saving your marriage before it starts.”
“And yes I would absolutely reconsider committing to marriage if my future husband tried to change our once-in-a-lifetime plans without asking me first, forgot about my feelings when his guy friends were around, assumed I’d just go along with what they wanted, and made me look like the bad guy to his longtime friends right before I’m supposed to become his spouse.”
“And I’m not apologizing for saying that.” – tantrumps_
“TBH, I wouldn’t go through with the marriage at this point. Not sure how he could manage to even right this at this point. His fiancee will be the bad guy no matter how carefully he phrases it. They’ll all know she said no and that is why he is pulling out.”
“To the OP of this whole post: Good job on putting a big dent into any future attempts of your fiancee getting along with your friends.” – Aleshanie
Others suggested ending the marriage before it begins.
“Would it be a bad thing if they broke up?? I am thinking it is a win-win. He gets to spend his time with the people who are actually important to him and ex-fiancee can actually find someone who wants her.” – debbieae
“My ex was like this. He spent our 10 year anniversary watching football because he couldn’t possibly be expected to miss a game. Then pouted when he came to bed expecting sex and I gave him the cold shoulder.”
“He’s my ex for a lot of reasons, but this gives you a general taste of why.” – justforfunnsies12
“If someone invited me on their honeymoon, I’d find it odd but assume that the couple decided together to be inclusive of friends. I’m not sure that a unilateral invite would ever even cross my mind.” – its_a_gibibyte
Some pointed out the OP had made his future wife look like the villain.
“It’s too bad. Now the narrative will be that OP’s s**tty controlling wife put a stop to the super fun friends getaway.”
“What an awful thing he did. I’d be so disappointed.” – websterella
“‘I even told her she can tell some of her own friends of they want to join.'”
“‘I thought it sounded fun.'”
“He already told us he did.”
“OP, you are absolutely terrible. Now your wife is going to look like the bad guy to your friends. Bet the friends now try and convince you not to get married and just go on the bro-trip with them” – Scheme-Disastrous
“The problem with canceling is now she’s the nagging fiancé/wife who ruined their trip. It’s her fault they can’t have a fun friend trip. How dare she want to spend 1 on 1 time with her new husband on their honeymoon.” – sraydenk
While the OP thought he had come up with a fun trip idea, the subReddit insisted now was not the time. This could be a fun trip idea for a year or so down the road, but it shouldn’t effectively take over a honeymoon that’s meant to be centered around a couple and their new union.