It seems like this is something we all leave behind in middle school. But 28-year-old Redditor ThrowRA_MyBallsHurt was at his wit’s end for a very disturbing recurring circumstance in his relationship. He went to the subReddit “Relationship Advice” to figure out how to handle this:
“My Girlfriend (26 f[emale]) has a weird obsession with my balls. She likes to hit my balls and watch me in pain. She just can’t stop doing it.”
As with any odd situation, it has an odd beginning that came from some rather fortunate circumstances.
“So Jenna is a beautiful 26 year old woman and I’m a chubby 28 year old bloke. I really love Jenna, she’s the woman of my life. We’ve known each other for over 6 years and we’ve been in a relationship for almost about 2 years now.”
“When Jenna entered my life, she changed it forever. She’s been with me through all the ups and downs in my life and has always been pushing me and supporting me. She’s the best woman that I’ve ever met and I feel that she’s a blessing sent to me by God himself.”
“So as it says in the title, Jenna has a weird obsession with my testicles…an obsession where she likes to hit it and watch my reaction.”
“I’m going to tell you a thing that she did to me a long time back. At that time, we both were in a relationship for about two or three months and we had sex about a few times then. So…after I was finished (probably a few seconds later), she said nothing, she just tightened her fist and gave me a punch in the balls!”
“Now Jenna is no one punch man, but I was knocked out after that single punch. My reaction was just like anyone else who would get hit in the balls, I held my crotch and squirmed in agony. She probably watched me and laughed the first few minutes, but the pain didn’t go down for a while and I continued squirming in pain, so she probably felt guilty, so she apologized.”
“After a while, when I recovered, I asked her why she did it and she told me that she really wanted to do it from a long time and that she found my reaction very cute. Let me tell you, it wasn’t that cute for me. She told me that she would never do it again, so I forgave her (I actually don’t remember having a choice).”
“And she’s kept that word till today and has never ‘punched’ me the balls ever since. She only ‘taps’ it and ‘slaps’ it… a few times a day.”
“I’ve noticed that whenever she taps my balls and I don’t react in a painful way, she does it again until I feel pain and hold my crotch and squirm. That’s the reason why I act like it hurts even when sometimes it doesn’t.”
“And I’ve noticed that she controls herself whenever she wants to ‘tap’ me down there. She wants to go for a full hard punch, but she knows that it hurts me, so she controls herself and just slaps it lightly.”
“What I’ve also notice is that whenever I hold my crotch and react with pain, she gets really turned on for some reason. I’ve been in other relationships before and I’ve never seen a woman who got turned on by that, I found it really weird.”
And our original poster, or OP, who is 100% not into this new idea is really struggling with how to balance his love for Jenna with her strange affinity.
“Speaking about this logically, this might just be a fantasy. A very weird and painful one, but a fantasy nonetheless. Probably watching me react to one of her actions like that, it turns her on.”
“It’s isn’t her mistake at all, everyone has their own fantasies, and it’s totally normal. I wouldn’t call her a bad person or a mentally ill person just because she likes to see me hold my crotch with pain. I would like to call it her fantasy or her kink.”
“Now you guys may have your own opinions and you may think different, but this is what I think of this situation.”
“Is it painful for me? Oh hell yes.”
“Would I like her to stop doing it forever? Also yes, but do I think something is wrong with her for doing this? No.”
“That’s just my take. Let me know what your take is. Thanks for reading all this. Hope you have a good day or whatever.”
Talk to her. Hear what she has to say.
If she’s not open to stopping…welp. Time to break up.
“If you don’t like it and don’t want her to do it, then she should not be doing it, no matter what her kink is. If your kink was to bite her nipple really hard so she feels pain, and she didn’t like that, you would probably stop, right?”
“If you’re not giving consent to this kink then it’s not okay and she needs to know that very seriously. It doesn’t matter how amazing she is outside of this situation; Jenna is not respecting your boundaries.”
“I’d say have a serious conversation about how you’re not comfortable with it, and perhaps she can give some insight as to why she thinks it’s okay to continue doing this when you’ve asked her to stop.”~baby_boyo
“You need to have a conversation with her about the nut tapping. serious talk. I would even consider visiting a sex therapist.”~Burner-account-21f
“Her kink is her kink and I won’t kinkshame. BUT if she’s still doing it after you’ve specifically said you’re not into it, you don’t like it, etc. – she’s a dangerous person and you need to put your foot down and, if you can’t bring yourself to break up over it, give her the sternest talking to of her life.”~FormidableSKK
“You are making up excuses for her. Just sit down with her and tell her that you don’t like it. If it goes on for too long you might never be able to have kids. There is a chance that you have a new girlfriend by then and that person would have to deal with a problem that Jenna caused.”~AnotherAccount0921
And it turns out OP really did have a talk with his girlfriend…but it did not go at all the way he’d hoped.
“I couldn’t just start the conversation, I thought that I should maybe wait till Jenna hits me there first to start the conversation, so I lied down on my bed, spread my legs wide and I was waiting for Jenna to hit me in the balls (what am I doing with my life?).”
“Obviously, I didn’t have to wait for long, she came from the kitchen and lied down on the bed next to me and gave me a nice, tight slap on the balls. Usually she stares at me and enjoys watching my reaction, so she did the same today as well.”
“It definitely hurt, but I recovered from it as fast as I could and looked back at her and told her that we needed to talk. I told Jenna calmly how much it hurts me every time she does something like that and told her how much I don’t like it and how much I want her to stop doing it.”
“I also tried to explain to her the pain that I experience every time she hits me (multiple times a day) and I also opened a link that was posted in the comments of my previous post by a fellow Redditor. That post was about how my testicles can be damaged.”
“I showed her the link and read out the entire article to her thinking that she would understand it, but no, her reaction was something else. Her reaction surprised me and also offended me at the same time.”
“She didn’t take me or my words seriously at all! As I was reading the article and telling her how painful it was, she was laughing at me and saying things like ‘aww, really? That’s so interesting’.”
And then she did it again.
“I usually don’t get offended by anything, but this was a serious topic for me and I was expecting a serious reply from her, so when she replied to me that way, I got offended and a little pissed. I told her ‘this is the last time I’ll be telling you this, please stop hitting me,’ for which she replied with ‘aww, okay’ and immediately hit my balls again and laughed at me.”
And then her reaction was incredibly strange.
“Again, I’m not a person who gets angry very easily. Me and Jenna have known each other for over 6 years and I bet she’s never seen me angry. Yesterday, after her reaction, I got angry and for the first time ever, I spoke to her in an angry tone. I told her that if she doesn’t stop doing it, I would leave her.”
“Hearing me say that and seeing me angry for the first time ever finally made Jenna think and now she knew that I was being serious and this was a serious conversation. I once again told her how painful it was for me and I told her to stop it.”
“I told her everything once again but this time with a slightly louder tone. Once again, her reaction was very strange. She started getting all defensive and told me to stop ‘attacking her unnecessarily.’ Now tell me fellers, am I ‘attacking’ her by telling her to STOP HITTING MY G*DDAMN BALLS?”
Even trying the reasonable route, things didn’t go well.
“I apologized to her and told her that I’m not attacking her, but I still want my balls not being hit all the time. As a fellow Redditor in my previous post commented, I told her that I would give her two weeks to completely stop her habits.”
“Now I don’t think that I said anything wrong till now, I can swear on myself that I never said anything that would hurt her, but for some reason, she got really angry and told me that my words hurt her.”
And then it went completely off the rails.
“She angrily told me ‘I feel that it’s really cute when I do it, I enjoy being cute and open around you, you only think about yourself, you never think about my likes and wants, don’t you want me to be happy and have fun in this relationship too?'”
“I calmly explained to her about everything again and told her that I only want her to stop because it really hurts me and it might damage my organs, for which she angrily replied ‘I bet it doesn’t even hurt that much, just a little bit of pain for 5-10, it isn’t even that serious, you’re just exaggerating, also I only tap them slowly, there’s no chance that your balls would get destroyed with such light taps’.”
“She literally told me to STOP BEING A P*SSY!”
And without a solution in sight, OP was left up the creek without a paddle.
“I was literally startled after hearing those words. No offense to her, but I thought that even a 13 year old girl would know more about testicles than her.”
“She’s 26 dammit. Now I didn’t have anything to say after her replies. I kept quiet, but she had something else to say. She said that if I don’t let her touch me, then she would never let me touch her either and she told me never to touch her ever again from today.”
“This conversation that we had today made me very sad and I’m not able to think what to do next. It would be great if somebody can suggest to me how to tackle this situation now.”
Redditors’ advice this time?
“Ok, so you gave her your fair chance- she had a chance to stop hurting you on purpose and apologize, and instead she retaliated. Her refusal to consider your feelings and lack of empathy for your pain is frankly… weird and upsetting. If it wasn’t before, now is the time to break up.”~doraemonsfriend
“You tell her to pack her stuff and leave, that’s how you proceed. She hits you, belittles you, makes fun of your boundaries and gets mad and punishes you for even having boundaries.”
“You should never have to discuss with your partner why them hitting you is wrong. She is abusive. She is an abuser. You are being abused. You will be SO much better off the second she is out of your life forever.”
“Kick her out, block her number and all social media and cut out any friends that associate with her. You deserve better than this, man.”~maggot39601
“This is literal physical abuse that you have made clear is painful and non-consensual, followed by emotional blackmail, manipulation, invalidation, blame shifting and withdrawal of affection.”
“You’re. Being. Punished. For. Not. Wanting. To. Be. Hit.”
“I don’t even know what to say; I’m stunned that this is even a thing. I’m sorry.”~Kwinkii
“Leave. You don’t need to come up with any reason for her to stop hitting your balls. It doesn’t matter if/how much/how long it hurts. It doesn’t matter if it’s going to do permanent damage. It doesn’t matter if she finds it funny.”
“It is your body. She has no right to hit you. You have explicitly told her not to hit you (it shouldn’t even need to be said, but it has been) and she reacted to that by hitting you again.”
“It doesn’t matter if it’s a kink to her rather than abuse for the sake of being abusive, you have not consented to it and she needs to respect that. There is no excuse for this behavior – if you had a choking fetish and she absolutely did not, you could get in serious trouble for choking her during sex against her will, and this is the same.”
“And now, somehow, she’s making you not wanting to be hit in the balls an attack on her – that’s nearly as messed up as the actual hitting you in the balls.”
“Depending on your housing situation, you need to leave or ask her to leave. Maybe this could be resolved, if she gets some help for the matter, but she needs to understand what is wrong about this behaviour.”~paperpangolin
Abuse takes many forms, but abuse is abuse.
Hopefully OP can recognize this and finds himself in a healthier situation sometime soon.