In a world where we are constantly fighting to have people see the truth about climate change, it’s understandable to get frustrated when someone else doesn’t seem to be taking it seriously.
However, it is not reasonable to get on everybody’s case—especially if they aren’t doing something crazy or overtly wrong.
Redditor cummiefart420 found himself in this situation when he found a woman who was very upset with him…for owning a pickup truck. In response to what he saw as an unnecessary gripe, he shut her down and embarrassed her in the process.
Unsure if he crossed too many lines, he took to the popular subReddit “Am I The A**hole?” or “AITA” for feedback from objective strangers:
“AITA for driving a pickup truck and humiliating a girl who gave me grief for it?”
Our original poster, or OP, talked about where he got his pickup truck from.
“I’ve posted here before and gotten helpful insight so I figure why not try another? This one has me confused, I was not expecting to be seen in the wrong here.”
“For context, I am 23M[ale], and I am in home improvement. I need a pickup truck so I can put tools and job materials in the bed.”
“It’s also not like I have a huge truck with a diesel or 5th wheel mod or anything, it’s just your standard short-box, full-cab F150. (2004 and I bought it used last year)”
There is a girl he intersects with that often picks on him.
“I am in my local hardcore punk scene, and as you can imagine, there’s a lot of people in the scene who are into social justice, environmentalism, politics, vegetarian/veganism, etc. (including me!)”
“One girl, who I’ll call Sarah, is veeeeery preachy. I don’t mean she’s passionate and I find it annoying, I mean she’s rude, condescending, and treats ‘wokeness’ like a competition and is always trying to one-up others.”
“After a show I went to this weekend, me and some of my friends were sitting in my truck, half hanging out, half getting ready to go (we had carpooled).”
“A lot of us in the scene know each other, so we were talking to people that were passing by, which happened to include Sarah and 3 friends she was with.”
Sarah joined in with an unwelcome ribbing.
“We said hello and they joined into our conversation, until Sarah kind of butted in and asked if the truck was mine.”
“After I said it was, she asked what kind of fuel milage it got. I said ‘I think about 16 miles to the gallon, I hadn’t really looked it up or anything I just bought it because it was available and what I needed.'”
“She goes ‘You don’t know? That doesn’t surprise me.’ I ask what she means by that. She says ‘it’s just typical of a truck owner to not care about how much waste they pump into the air.'”
“I told her that was pretty standard gas mileage for a pickup truck in my price range. She says ‘Exactly, and you chose to buy a truck.’ I ask ‘Have you considered I might need a truck? I build and install cabinets for a living. Have you ever tried to strap a pantry to a prius?'”
“This got a laugh out of my friends and some of the dudes we were chatting with before and that’s when she went red in the face and stormed off with her friends.”
But OP got an angry message later that made him rethink.
“One of her friends messages me on SM later that night to say that I humiliated her and caused her to have a panic attack, and I saw a few sub-tweets that I think were aimed in my direction with words like ‘mansplaining.'”
“I think I might be the a**hole for those reasons and because I caused a group of people to laugh at her, which wasn’t my intention, I just wanted to drive the point home.”
“I also think I might not be the asshole because used cars are expensive right now and I think singling me out for driving what I can afford is kind of unnecessary?”
“I forgot to mention also I am 6 foot 3 and 280 pounds, so trucks and SUVs are about all I can be comfortable driving.”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Reddit thought OP was totally fine in sticking up for himself.
“NTA. She was picking on you. Period. You defended yourself. Nothing wrong with this.”
“You should tell her friend: if she doesn’t want to be embarrassed, she should stop trying to embarrass and humiliate other people. Because that’s EXACTLY what she was doing to you.”-SDstartingOut
“I’m a feminist and I see no mansplaining here.”
“I’m also into nature and environment but I can see how right now it isn’t ALWAYS possible to be 100% environmentally friendly and OP has a job that unfortunately has requirements that are what they are.”
“NTA OP. Your ‘friend’ is just too full of herself.”-smegheadgirl
“NTA. Those of us who care do what we can. Some of us have jobs that require heavier-duty vehicles that accommodate materials.”
“I hope she learns this or she’s also in for a nasty surprise in the future when any contractor, delivery person, etc. shows up at her door.”
“Given her intentions, you wouldn’t have been an AH even if you had intended to get a chuckle at her expense: she was targeting you.”-Word-Artist
“Woman here and I doubt I’ll ever go back to driving a car. Love my truck. I like sitting higher up and the ability to transport my thrifting finds myself. As well as those of friends and family.”
“It’s what you’ve chosen to drive, suits your budget and lifestyle and doesn’t have to be justified. You didn’t ask her to judge your choices or for her opinion.”
“She embarrassed herself by thinking she had the right to judge your life without knowing anything about it. Her bad not yours.”
“You treated her unwanted statements with humor instead of anger. NTA”-Marmenoire
And people thought that “Sarah” only wanted to make him look bad, rather than help the earth:
“NTA. She was trying to make you look bad. You made a light-hearted joke. She felt embarrassed, but you weren’t trying to embarrass her.”
“No part of this was mansplaining, and I say this as a punk woman. You’re fine.”-fastyellowtuesday
“You’re not serious, are you? She is a GIANT GAPING AH, and you were funny! I mean, you could’ve gone with other words, but pantry and prius rhyme in a most delightful way!”
“Seriously though, she caused her own panic attack through her terrible behavior, it had nothing to do with you.”
“It also sounds like they don’t understand the term mansplaining either – how about Sarahsplaining?”
“Your size doesn’t mean that people shouldn’t treat you with respect at all times. Sarah has a huge level of disrespect for everyone and everything, and it’s now coming back to bite her in the a**.”
“If she doesn’t learn about herself soon, she’ll have a hell of a lot more than a panic attack to worry about.”-SweatyFig3000
“NTA. I love my hybrid Camry, but I do not love trying to transport large objects with it. You very obviously need a truck for work.”
“Presumably if you could get a truck with better mileage you would, because that’s less money for gas, but you need a vehicle you can afford.”
“Plus, mileage is largely about mass. It takes energy to move your truck and its bedful of cabinetry. It’s just physics. Sarah sounds exhausting and needs to mind her own business.”-Amblonyx
“NTA you were minding your own business, she started with you, and then felt humiliated and had a panic attack when you didn’t immediately agree with her?”
“Wow, she needs to toughen up a bit, and stop harassing people. Also, mansplaining is a real thing, but that wasn’t it.”-Reasonable_Tax2446
People also noted that her brand of feminism and wokeness might not be the kind that actually helps:
“NTA – she sounds like the wrong kind of feminist, by which I mean, it’s more important to put you down and be right then it is raise women up (eg mansplaining, acting like you just bought the truck to be cool or a dude)”
“If you view her this way, I bet a lot of the people in your circle do as well. Ignore her, and if her or her friends bring it up again just point out she can dish it but not take it.”-Hazel_Hank_Murphy
“NTA. If you don’t want look foolish in front of a group don’t start fights based on assumptions.”
“It reminds me of a story my brother tells, he was walking out of a store and a woman runs up to him and asks if a junk old truck that is running in the parking lot is his.”
“He says no and she proceeds to tell him how mad she is that someone left it running and she is going to turn it off.”
“My brother tells her you better not, its a junk old truck and sometimes when they are left running its because there is something wrong with the truck and it won’t start again. This had never occurred to her.”-HedgehogOptimal1784
“NTA. I personally hate pick trucks because I live in a huge old city with narrow streets and a lot of people drive it here to appear macho, but I would never presume someone who drove one didn’t need it.”
“They were made for a reason and a legitimate mode of transporting large goods. Being preachy about being green is a classist thing.”-Familyconflict92
“NTA. It’s more harmful to the environment to buy an electric car brand new than it is to use a use a second hand truck.”
“Production creates more emissions than squeezing the remaining life out of a second hand pick up truck. That girl comes dead last in the woke Olympics.”
“She can’t play the victim after choosing to bully others instead of being kind. If public humiliation triggers her panic attacks then she should know better than most just how awful it feels.”
“She either wants other people to hurt or she lacks the ability to understand that people hurt too.”-MadnessEvangelist
The verdict is in: OP is in the clear.
Hopefully Sarah can move on from this moment and learn from it.