in ,

Guy Upsets Girlfriend By ‘Correcting’ Her Every Time She Says She Bought Her Home By Herself


Redditor homeowner_aita is a 37-year-old male who considers himself to be a very “blunt” and “logical” person.

His 34-year-old girlfriend, Mary, just bought an apartment in San Francisco, which is commonly considered to be one of the most expensive metropolitan places to live in the U.S.

The Redditor has an issue whenever Mary tells people she purchased the apartment on her own, and it is the basis of many of their recent arguments.

Their recent fight led to a breaking point.

So he turned to the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit, where he asked:

“AITA for correcting my girlfriend when she says she bought her home by herself?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“My girlfriend (I’ll call her Mary) recently bought an apartment in one of the highest cost of living areas in the country ( SF). I’m very proud of her of course.”

“She loves to tell people that she bought her apartment all by herself, with no help from anyone.”

“I’m a very blunt/logical guy, and I generally correct her and remind her that she DID have help:”

“-she lived rent free with her parents for several years before buying, they didn’t even let her pay for utilities or food.”

“-she had an inheritance, that paid for closing costs.”

“-her mom lent/in some cases straight up BOUGHT furniture for her.”

“-she used a lender and a re-agent that she was referred to (related to her best friend)… so she got a bunch of di$count$ that way.”

“-she is a consultant and makes an absurd salary/bonus/comp.”

“-she still has MBA loans (on pause for covid)”

“Combined together I think that the above is SIGNIFICANT help that many people don’t have.”

“We are getting into fights when I correct her, and yesterday she called me an a**hole and said that she’s at her breaking point.”

“I don’t think I am, I’m just honest.”

Strangers on the internet were asked to declare one of the following:

  • NTA – Not the A**hole
  • YTA – You’re the A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everybody Sucks Here

Based on his given reasons, many Redditors couldn’t back him up.

“So she doesn’t earn her salary? That’s considered ‘help?'”

“Also a lot of times blunt = YTA. Sounds like that’s what we’ve got here.” – superjudy1

“YTA. Based on your own bullet point list, she did in fact buy it herself. It was all legally her money plus loans.”

“‘When I correct her’.”

“I’m giving you a 2nd YTA for this.”

“Reminder, the dating prospects of a woman with an MBA, an absurd income, and her own apartment is probably a lot better than that of a smug 37yo ‘blunt’ guy who likes to ‘correct’ his gf.” – IBeTrippin

“YTA- sound rather petty. It’s still her money no matter if she paid rent or not.”

“Inherited money is still her money too. Not very logical to my view.” – shadow-foxe

“YTA. You sound so jealous. Being honest. Resenting your own girlfriend, what a guy.” – JoannaRe

“Wow. Of all the things about which you could choose to be honest, you’re choosing to be honest—with other people—about your girlfriend’s finances.”

“And you’re belittling her in front of those other people.”

“If your girlfriend were the one posting here, I’d be warning her about all the red flags I’m seeing. Instead, I’ll just say.”

“YTA all the way.” – cambridge_ax

“Hard YTA vibes here.”

“I bought my current house with my now ex-husband while we were married. During the divorce, I bought him out of his portion of the equity by not taking a certain % of a brokerage account in the divorce.”

“I then refinanced the house solely in my name and have paid the mortgage, insurance, and property tax all on my own for 4.5 years.”

“In OP’s eyes, I should be negged because it was originally bought with joint money and forget all of my hard work and professional accomplishments to afford a mortgage that was close to $325k on my own.”

“No, bad OP, we do not demean our partners and we do not dull our partner‘s crown in a piss poor attempt to make our’s shine all under the pearl-clutching guise that ‘I’m just telling the truth’.”

“No. It’s petty. It’s pathetic. It’s problematic. I feel bad for OP’s partner.” – carr1e

“The gf can acknowledge in her mind she had support/gifts that helped her purchase her own home in a housing crisis whilst still being very proud she managed to buy her own home.”

“Why ruin her joy with ‘YOU HAD HELP THO’. In ten years she has to always use the caveat of ‘oh didn’t struggle the entire time to achieve this’?!!”

“Also it is the ultimate AH behaviour to throw inheritances into peoples faces. Someone literally had to DIE, they are gone forever, and they kindly left something to help in life to someone still living.”

“The living person wouldn’t have received it had they not died. Such a AH move. YTA.” – throwawayj38sld

“YTA. If your gf isn’t aware that she’s been very lucky, then that’d be one thing. But nothing you’ve said here has indicated that.”

“In fact, it sounds like you’re correcting her any time she mentions that she’s bought an apartment.”

“Do you have an axe to grind or something? Of course this is something she should feel excited about.”

“And yeah, maybe she should feel proud of it, as long as she’s worked for it too and knows that she’s very privileged/lucky.”

“Honestly the way you’ve described it makes you sound totally insufferable! Give her a break.” – civil_lingonberry

“YTA. If that’s the list that means you can’t say you bought a home by yourself, then basically no one else can say that either.”

“She has a high paying job so that automatically means she got help? Where’s the logic in that?”

“You sound jealous when you should be supportive and commend her for this big step in her life.” – JuniorFix3344

Overall, many Redditors thought the OP was being petty with his impulse to clarify specifics of how she was able to afford the home she was able to purchase for herself.

They also got the sense the OP’s actions were motivated by jealousy.

Redditors didn’t have high hopes for this relationship unless the OP changed his attitude.

Written by Koh Mochizuki

Koh Mochizuki is a Los Angeles based actor whose work has been spotted anywhere from Broadway stages to Saturday Night Live.
He received his B.A. in English literature and is fluent in Japanese.
In addition to being a neophyte photographer, he is a huge Disney aficionado and is determined to conquer all Disney parks in the world to publish a photographic chronicle one day. Mickey goals.
Instagram: kohster Twitter: @kohster1 Flickr: nyckmo