Content Warning: Body-Shaming, Ableism, Bullying
When we hear the term “blind date,” most of us cringe, knowing the likelihood of the date turning out badly.
But sometimes a blind date goes better than anyone could have expected, even if the people who set the date up intended for it to be a prank, cringed the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITAH) subReddit.
Redditor ResidentThrowRA was recently set up on a date with someone he never would have expected by his group of friends.
When the date went incredibly well and he arranged for a second date, the Original Poster (OP) was shocked when he found out that his friends had pranked him and attempted to set him up with someone they thought he’d be repulsed by.
He asked the sub:
“AITA for going on a second date with the girl my friends set me up with as a prank?”
The OP recently got set up on a date by his friends.
“I (28 Male) am a medical resident, so I barely have time to sleep, let alone date.”
“My friends (also in med school) have been pushing me to go out more, insisting that I need a break from the grind.”
“A few weeks ago, they set me up on a blind date. They wouldn’t stop talking about how ‘perfect’ this girl was for me, so I thought, why not?”
His date, Emily, was not who he would have expected, but he had a great time.
“I met Emily (26 Female) at the restaurant, and right away, I could tell she wasn’t what my friends probably expected me to go for.”
“Emily’s not super skinny; in fact, she’s a little chubby; but honestly, I thought she was really cute. She had this amazing smile, and the way she laughed just made me want to keep the conversation going.”
“She’s studying geology, and she was so passionate about her work, talking about volcanic rock formations like it was the coolest thing ever (and by the end of the night, I agreed, it was a lot more fun to talk about than cadavers).”
“The best part was how comfortable the date felt. We both found out we’re autistic, both late diagnosed, and we mask a lot, meaning we’re used to putting on a social ‘act’ to fit in.”
“But with each other, it felt like we didn’t have to pretend so much, and that made the whole evening feel easy. It wasn’t like most dates where you’re constantly trying to impress the other person. We just clicked.”
“Physically, Emily wasn’t the type my friends thought I’d be into, but I didn’t care at all. She’s sweet, funny, and I had an amazing time with her.”
“By the end of the night, we exchanged numbers, and we’ve been texting pretty regularly since.”
The OP was shocked when he found out the truth behind his date.
“A few days later, though, I got a really sad message from Emily.”
“As it turns out, my friends told her that they set us up as a prank and that they set me up with her because they thought she wasn’t ‘my type,’ and that they picked her specifically because she’s chubby and not what they’d call ‘conventionally attractive,’ thinking it would be funny to see how I’d react.”
“Emily was obviously hurt and texted me, apologizing if she wasn’t what I expected. She said she understood if I didn’t want to talk to her anymore.”
“She was wrong. I think she’s beautiful. Body and spirit. To be honest, she’s my new type.”
“I was furious when I found out what my friends had done. I immediately apologized to Emily, telling her my friends were id**ts and that I genuinely enjoyed our date. I reassured her I wasn’t texting her out of pity and that I thought she was awesome.”
“After we talked it out, I asked her if she’d like to go on another date just the two of us, with no pranks or games this time. She said yes.”
The friends were furious when their prank backfired so badly.
“Now, my friends are pissed at me. They’re saying I ruined the joke and that I’m being ‘weird’ by asking her out again.”
“They’re acting like the whole thing was just harmless fun and can’t believe I’m going on a second date with someone who, to them, was supposed to be the punchline.”
“They even joked that I’m only doing it because I feel bad, but that’s not it at all. I actually like Emily. I’m looking forward to seeing her again, and I don’t see why I should let their prank dictate how I feel.”
“So now I’m getting all this backlash, and my friends think I’m the a**hole for continuing to see her.”
“I’m so confused. They keep saying it’s my autism and that I just don’t get it.”
“AITAH?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some urged the OP to throw out the friends and keep his new girlfriend.
“You have friends that act like this at 28? Eww. I’d keep the girl and ditch the friends. NTA.” – ImposterSyndrome412
“You keep using the word ‘friend’ to describe utterly despicable bullies. Why?” – TheSupremeAdmiral
“NTA. F**k your friends. Enjoy your time with this girl; she sounds nice.” – MadMaxx999666
“What gets me the most is that the ‘friends’ went out of their way to make Emily feel awful. These aren’t people I’d consider friends anymore. I also would like to fight these jerks a little.” – serenidynow
“It’s one thing to set your friend up with someone you think they wouldn’t be into as a prank (still an a**hole thing to do, but I could excuse it from some dumb teenagers, not grown men), but to then go out of your way to make the girl feel bad after your friend didn’t have the expected reaction is absolutely vile.”
“This girl sounds great, and those are not your friends.” – Babyfarm29
“NTA. It was a s**tty ‘prank’ from the beginning (especially since you don’t have much free time), but it did get you to go out and enjoy yourself.”
“What really is f**ked up is they are so upset their prank fell flat that they contacted her instead of you to the effect of, ‘Hey, you cheated somehow… you weren’t supposed to be cool or special.'”
“It wasn’t the desired effect for your friends, but this is actually wayyyy better of an outcome and they’re upset.”
“There’s gotta be one or two of them that are at least remorseful (I hope I’m not being too optimistic about it), and they’re just acting out right now. If there aren’t any, I’d say cut ties with all of them. They can think they won; meanwhile, you’re the one who’s actually happy.” – evilmher
“THESE ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS.”
“Please. Let me be your internet Dad today. I am the father of an amazing young man on the spectrum already, and have given this advice to my own son.”
“If your friends laugh at you, and not with you, you’re a joke to them.”
“They set up a perfectly wonderful young lady with the intent of hurting her. On no level is that cool. When their plan for oblique hurt didn’t pan out, they tried to hurt her directly.”
“Be your own man. Stand up and defend her and denounce these horrible individuals. You’re not 15, stupid and full of hormones and angst. You’re adults, and this is reprehensible.”
“These. Are. Not. Friends.”
“These. Are. Not. Good. People.”
“They will hurt you, and they will laugh.” – asyrian88
Others were perplexed by the future of the healthcare population.
“Having worked in healthcare, I’m not surprised that 1) mean girl mentality is so rampant in medicine that three whole grown-a** men decided this was a sane thing to do, 2) this is how future physicians think of and treat ‘ugly fat chicks,’ and 3) that they’re using OPs autism to tell him that he ‘doesn’t get it.'”
“Misogyny, fatphobia, ableism, and less maturity and empathy than most toddlers.” – fizzy_lime
“It’s one type of f**ked up to do this at all, to then tell the person they were a joke? ‘It’s your autism you don’t get it’ and these people are going to be doctors?!”
“Emily sounds like an absolute sweetheart, and I want to throw hands for her.” – Ok-Fondant-553
“Your friends are ableist and sexist a**holes. Screw them. Also, sorry to break this to you but they aren’t your friends, nor should you want them to be if they’re both that horrible to women that they would make someone a punchline, who would bully someone like that?”
“And also, using your autism as some insult is disgusting.”
“I’d tell them they’re not your friends and ditch them for Emily, who sounds great no matter what, either as a friend or as a future partner. She’s a much better person than they are.”
“I seriously cannot believe that guys of any age would do this, let alone in their late 20s, and let alone as people who apparently want to help other people, it’s so gross.” – Princess-of-Power-42
“NTA. Such sophomoric behavior. As someone who is pretty much a professional patient, I can say that I would not want a doctor, surgeon, anesthesiologist, etc., to have that kind of humor.”
“Ditch the dudes, and keep the super cute geologist.” – bookishmama_76
“I love that Emily is your new type. F**k your ‘friends.’ I would be disappointed if they were medical students, too; I sincerely hope they do not continue. Enjoy your new relationship!” – merry1960
The subReddit was disgusted that anyone would act like this, let alone in their late twenties.
Instead of being happy for their friend that he had found a good match, they were angry that their sexist prank had not gone the way they had planned. They then proceeded to body-shame Emily and make ableist remarks against the OP.
Hopefully, they will realize at some point that the medicine profession is not for them because it clearly isn’t a good fit.