Couples have spats.
It’s all part of the game of love.
But a lot of the time those spats are avoidable.
So why don’t couples find compromise?
The ultimate conundrum.
Case in point…
Redditor throwera36576 wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback. So naturally, he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
He asked:
“AITA for sitting on my wife’s bag after she refused to remove it from the passenger seat?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“So my M[ale] 27 car broke down.”
“I asked my wife F[emale] 26 to give me a ride to work in her car, that I helped save up for, and she agreed.”
“She’s the type of driver that makes a mess in the car.”
“Empty perfume bottles, makeup stuff, empty cartons and plastic bags and old air fresheners are all in the back.”
“When I got to her car and opened the passenger door I found her bag lying there.”
“I asked her to remove it so I could sit but she refused and said that the bag has ‘essential stuff’ inside that she needs immediate access to her.”
“Like her lipstick or gum pack.”
“I was stunned when she pointed to the back and told me to sit in there.”
“I said no, because the back was a mess and also, out of respect I should be sitting in the passenger seat where passengers should sit.”
“She insisted but I refused and asked her repeatedly to remove her bag.”
“She didn’t so I went ahead and got in and sat on it.”
“She freaked out on me yelling about it then an argument ensued.”
“She removed it, put it in the back then started yelling about how I was disrespecting her in her own car.”
“And that she was doing me a FAVOR by giving me a ride to work, and should’ve just sucked it up and shown some respect.”
“I ended up taking the bus and she was mad because she claimed I damaged her makeup palette that was inside the bag.”
“She called me immature and said that I don’t get to control and disrespect her and the things she owns.”
“We haven’t talked since I got home.”
“AITA for sitting on her bag?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared ESH, you’re all the A**hole.
“I truly think you guys have bigger issues within the relationship, if it all kicks off over a bag and a car ride.” ~ Fit-Secretary4044
“I mean, huge grain of salt here, but assuming all posts like this are true, it amazes me how often the issue isn’t ‘I did A, now Spouse/Partner is angry and not talking to me, AITA?'”
“When really it’s ‘you are in a relationship where there is a serious lack of good communication skills.'”
“‘You both are clearly unhappy and not working as a team, and the problem isn’t the bag, it’s your relationship.'” ~ Charliesmum97
“It’s probably an undiagnosed anxiety thing.”
“I have to keep my purse near me to reach lipstick or whatever while driving BUT I would never make anyone sit in the backseat just so I can get my precious next to me.”
“No, I’d put it on his lap or move to the front passenger side floor.” ~ Puzzled_Building560
“ESH She should have moved her bag to make room for you and you could have moved it rather than sitting on it and breaking the things inside.” ~ bellePunk
“He didn’t want to hold the bag in his lap.”
“He turned it into a power play and wanted her to move it for him.”
“She wanted it nearby while driving so said if he wouldn’t hold the bag he could sit in the back.”
“I dated a guy who refused to ever hold my bag because men don’t carry purses.”
“I get strong vibes of similar issues here.”
“I get that it’s a reach and that I have no evidence.”
“That’s why I’m not including it as a top comment.” ~ NineElfJeer
“Your bag is your responsibility.”
“My bag is on my passenger seat when I’m driving, if I have a passenger, my bag goes to the floorboard.”
“I move it myself because manners.”
“I’ve pretty much never asked anyone to hold my bag.”
“My partner, a wonderful, sweet man, would pass my bag to me if needed, but I would never ask him to hold it for me.” ~ Senior-Selection-506
“Everyone Sucks Here because they both acted like spoiled children!” ~ Gr8v3m1nd
“ESH. What a bizarre relationship.” ~ East-Performance-344
“She didn’t need immediate access.”
“She was pissed off about giving her husband a ride.”
“So she invented some petty bulls*it reason to force him into the backseat as a ridiculous power play.” ~ Responsible_Horror77
“I’d say ESH.”
“Why didn’t you put her bag in the back seats anyway then sit in the passenger seat at the front.”
“She probably still would have yelled but at least her stuff wouldn’t be broken.”
“Equally, sounds like she’s being petty AF.” ~ SaucyNucleus
“Yeah, this is just childish all around.”
“My husband keeps a messy car and usually we take my car (we have the same car, they’re 11 years apart in model years – he W[ork] F[rom] H[ome] or takes a train, he doesn’t drive much more than a 5 miles round trip when he does go out).”
“When I get in his car I am usually greeted by empty water bottles and a pair of sneakers.”
“I’ve never asked him to move them for me.”
“I move them myself and often move these things back for him.”
“Would I prefer he keep his car clean? Sure!”
“Do we fight about it and have a standoff about him moving things so I can sit?”
“No, because we are adults.” ~ IslandLife321
“ESH do y’all even like each other?”
“This literally sounded like two teenage siblings… ugh.” ~ Wrong-Atmosphere9714
“Even as teenagers, my brother and I wouldn’t fight over something so trivial.”
“Music selection – yes, but bag on seat – hell na.”
“If there is essentials in the bag (truly) just ask the other person to hold it.”
“In my country, you need to pay cash when you exit any parking space, since they don’t give women pockets, all my money is in my purse.”
“You know what my boyfriend does until we exit?
“He holds the bag then shoves it in the back when essentials aren’t needed anymore.” ~ Pretentious-fools
“ESH. You could have just moved it or held it on your lap instead of insisting she be the one to move it.”
“She could have moved it instead of trying to make you sit in the back because her bag is more important.”
“Also, you have bigger issues to deal with in your relationship if this is how you treat each other.” ~ crazyeagles62
“YTA, immature and ridiculous.”
“Here’s an idea, sit down and put the bag in your lap.”
“Talk about making a mountain out of a mole hill.” ~ penguin_squeak
“Yes? I didn’t get why this wasn’t his first thought?”
“He wanted to be an a**hole.”
“However, wife was an a**hole, too, which is why they should hold equal asshole accountability in my book. ESH.” ~ Dakotasunsets
“I read thing like this and it just makes me want to to hug my fiancee and tell him how glad I am to have found him, some relationships are wild!”
“ETA: ESH well everyone in this relationship, my fiancee is pretty awesome.” ~ lbw12345
“This sounds absolutely ludicrous, why is it so emergent that she has access to makeup while she’s driving?”
“Maybe she should pay more attention to not being a crappy driver and get up a couple of minutes earlier.”
“Wanting to not sit on the mess in the backseat and wanting to sit in the passenger’s seat sounds reasonable to me. NTA.” ~ Smuff23
“ESH. She shouldn’t be insisting you ride in the back or die on the hill she did.”
“But you could have picked the bag up and placed it in the back instead of sitting on it like an insolent child.” ~ katehater
“NTA – this is dumb as all get out. You’re married.”
“Sure my wife has ‘her car’ and I have ‘mine.’ but they are our cars, as in both together.”
“She’s not a damn Uber.”
“You sit up front like a grown up.”
“Move her damn bag and move on.”
“She sounds like fun. Glad she’s yours and not mine.” ~ svmc80
“You were both being incredibly immature.”
“She was making a huge deal about keeping her bag in the front seat for no reason, and you were a jerk for sitting on her bag.”
“Neither of you were able to think up the idea for you to pick the bag up and ride with it in your lap?”
“You guys may want to work on your communication skills a bit and stop trying to be the one that’s ‘right’ because that just ends with you both being wrong. ESH.” ~ themadamz
“This is not a YTA or NTA kind of situation.”
“This is something else.”
“I’m not sure you two should even be married (but, also, not my place to say), but at the very least there needs to be counseling in your near future.”
“Sitting on it? Immature.”
“Asking your husband to sit in the back?”
“Incredibly disrespectful.”
“You guys need to work on yourselves AS WELL as your relationship.” ~ hstac09
Well OP, Reddit has an issue with this entire situation.
Why not just move the bag?
A question to you both.
Y’all may need some therapy.
Good luck.