There are few feelings worse than that of feeling left out.
A feeling which feels particularly bad during one's teenage years.
Where despite your best efforts, you never find yourselves invited to parties all the cool kids were at, or sitting alone at lunch.
Redditor irrationaloffer was elated when it not only appeared that he was invited to a party, but was invited by a girl he'd had a crush on for some time.
Until it became clear to him that this girl's invitation wasn't exactly what it appeared to be.
As a result, the original poster (OP) made sure that the one contribution he was asked to provide for the party, never made it there.
Wondering if his actions were fair, the OP took to the subReddit "Am I The A**hole" (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
"AITA for taking back the beer I bought for a party from which I was uninvited?"
The OP shared how after believing he had been invited to an "in-crowd" party, he discovered that a girl he long harbored a crush on was, in fact, using him.
"This happened just a few hours ago."
"I am a 19 year old man and the people calling me an a**hole are 18 year old men and women."
"On Thursday, a person I had a major crush on in high school, but who rejected me, messaged me out of the blue."
"She had never contacted me without my contacting her first, and at one point I realized she had had me blocked on social media, and so I found it odd that she was suddenly being friendly."
"After sending a couple of greetings/questions about how I've been, she said that she was going to have some people over and wanted to know if I would get the beer."
"The drinking age where we are is 19, and she and the people who were going to chill were all 18."
"The liquor stores in my area all card."
"I thought it was silly that my being a month older meant I could buy liquor and they couldn't, and so I said I would love to go."
"She said 'thanks, I'll pick you up at seven!'"
"7 o'clock rolled around, and she texted me to say she was in front of my house."
"I went out dressed and ready to chill with some people, and she drove me to the liquor store."
"When we got there, I asked what beer she wanted me to get, and she told me to get Budweiser."
"I hid my disappointment as well as I could, but it was her party so I went in and bought two cases of 24.'
"I got back in the car and said 'let's party', and she was eerily quiet."
"I noticed that she wasn't driving towards her neighborhood, but rather back towards mine."
"I thought she had moved or something, but didn't want to press the issue."
"When she turned down my street I finally figured it out."
"She was being purposefully vague about the invitation because she wanted me to get the beer, but she wanted a way out when she told me I wasn't actually invited in the first place."
"She stopped in front of my house, leaned over, kissed me on the cheek, and said 'thanks!' in her best voice."
"I deadpanned her and asked when she was going to tell me I wasn't invited."
"She feigned surprise and said that she never intended to invite me in the first place."
"I sat in silence for a long awkward minute, picked up the beer, and walked towards my front door."
"She got out of her car and frantically tried to re-invite me to the party, but I told her that what she did was the most humiliating thing that ever happened to me."
"I opened my front door, slammed it a bit too hard, and came back to my room."
"Now I'm sitting here drinking absolutely unpalatable piss water, and I have text messages from all of her friends and her asking me why I'm being such a d*ck."
"I don't think I'm the a**hole for reacting the way I did, but if you haven't figured it out I'm not amazing socially so I'm not sure."
"Am I here?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was in no way the a**hole for keeping the beer he bought for a party he wasn't invited to.
Everyone agreed that the girl who invited the OP to the party was cruel and manipulative, and also had no right to keep the beer.
"NTA."
"And then she has the audacity to call YOU the dick?"- KrymsinTyde
"NTA."
"I would have loved to see her face when you took the beer with you."
"Good for you."- inimeg68
"NTA."
"Blatantly."
"How did she expect this to go?"
"You'd happily go buy her beer, then take it to the party, then leave, without partying or drinking your beer?"
"They have to all be a bit cracked in the head if they believe that was ever going to work."
"I'd take a snapchat of me pouring that down a toilet before I ever gave it to them."
"I'm so sorry this happened to you."
"I hope you can move past what a nasty piece of work this girl, not woman, is."- court_in_the_middle
"NTA."
"Good for you for standing up for yourself."
"Enjoy the Buds with some actual friends and never speak to this awful girl again."- MediumDrink
"NTA."
"F*ck them kids."- 389idha
"NTA, and high five to you for taking the beer."
"Sorry it’s Budweiser though, maybe try to return the unopened case?"- sonja_says
"NTA, and this is actually a victory story."
"She should be ashamed."
"Call up some friends and play a drinking game, maybe call it a Mexi beach party and throw together tacos and make some cheladas with that beer so it's more palatable, or any other beer cocktail."- ObiWanCombover
"NTA."
"Wow I can’t even contemplate how someone would do that and still expect the beer."- Sheepie125
"NTA."
"The girl was quite obviously using you because of your age, and since you bought the beers they were yours anyway."- bigboidaddy123
"Totally in the right."
"And it might be hard to believe or even hear but trust me."
"You're way better off teaching that person a lesson."
"Chug that shit beer in good health but drink a bunch of water to keep from getting those wicked Bud hangovers."- Rex-A-Vision
"NTA."
"To be completely honest it kinda sounds like you weren’t actually invited, she just asked if you would get her beer for the night."
"That being said, it’s definitely an AH move for her to reach out to you after a long period of time, seemingly out of the blue just to ask you to break the law for her."
"And to not even invite you to the party after?"
"From my understanding, you bought the beer with your own money so you’re absolutely not in the wrong for taking it with you once you realized you weren’t being invited to the party."
"You didn’t yell at her, call her names or do anything rude, just took your beer and left."
"I actually don’t think you could have handled this better than you did."
"If there was a stronger judgment than NTA, I’d give it to you!"- galpalnykki
"NTA."
"I think there would be a bunch of petty ways to exact revenge, but the biggest thing you can do is not react."
"They are all 18 year olds who don’t know how to be respectable human beings."
"So I wouldn’t take pics and send them of you throwing the beer away."
"Take the high road and don’t say anything."
"Don’t returns texts or calls, and if you see them or end up chatting with them, keep it short."
"As the night will go on they will find someone else to get drinks, then they will berate you because you ditched them."
"So don’t respond to any of it and your victory will be in denying them the satisfaction of getting a reaction out of you."- mtlmike85
"NTA."
"This girl sucks."
"On another note, anyone actually enjoy Budweiser?"- dj-norequest
"I sincerely hope that you know that there is no way on earth that you could possibly be considered TA."- SwishMyTail
"Haha NTA, they got what they deserved."
"Sorry you got used."- qweerrrtyyu
"Great thinking on your feet, instead of her ditching you and leave with the beer."
"Definitely NTA."
"F*ck them and their messages, put them all on blocked and live on happy and knowing that you made a dent in their egocentric little world."- Terror_Beer
Perhaps what's most surprising is that this girl didn't even offer to pay for the beers.
Hopefully the OP might have learned, while drinking a Budweiser or two, that anyone who behaved like that wasn't worth spending even a minute to think about.
And her behavior is likely a sign of the type of people she'd be friends with, leaving one to think this was a party no one would want to be invited to anyway.
Woman Asks If It's Wrong To Cancel Date After He Makes Too Many Sexual Comments
Dating can be really hard, because let's be honest, as fun as it's supposed to be, there are some very strange prospects out there.
While some might just be socially awkward, there are definitely some walking red flags, ready to push every boundary, cautioned the members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subReddit.
Redditor Suspicious_End_441 had been talking to a guy for a little while and was planning to go on a first date with him when he started sending her increasingly inappropriate text messages.
But when his texts went far past her comfort zone, especially for someone she'd never met, the Original Poster (OP) planned to call off the date and truly never meet the guy in real life.
She asked the sub:
The OP had been talking to a guy and was looking forward to going on a first date with him.
"For context, I (30 Female) met this guy online and have been talking to him the past few days."
"He asked me out, and we planned a date for today. He seems really nice so far."
"I like him, but he’s made a couple of comments that maybe seem like a red flag to me."
"First off, I did my nails for the date, and he asked me to send him a picture, so I did."
"Then he made some comment like, 'Those would look great wrapped around something.'"
"I kinda brushed it off because I know that’s how some guys are... but it did give me the ick a little."
"Then I asked him to tell me more about himself, and the second thing he told me was that he has a high sex drive."
The potential date texted:
The OP no longer liked the idea of dating the guy.
"Don’t get me wrong, I’m no prude, but this made me slightly uncomfortable. I’m wondering what reason you would need to tell this to someone you haven’t even met yet."
"I didn’t think he would be expecting sex on a first date, but this made me rethink."
"I’m also recovering from a surgery that I had three weeks ago, and he knows this. So that literally isn’t even an option for me, not that I would wanna do that on a first date anyway."
The OP considered never meeting the guy in person.
"I kind of feel like he’s making too many sexual comments too quickly, especially considering I didn’t engage with his first comment at all."
"Am I overreacting, feeling like I maybe want to cancel the date and block him?"
"I just feel like these comments are an indicator of his expectations... or maybe he is just 'being a guy'?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some had second-hand "ick" from reading that text message.
"NOR. My face when I read that text: [Dan Levy from 'Schitt's Creek']" - Unlikely_Captain_499
"I’d nope out right after the nails comment. After I blast him for being completely out of line." - WHYohWhy__MEohMY
"If he’s that comfortable saying stuff like that before he meets you, imagine what he’ll say after he knows you better." - ScrambledNoggin
"Gross. That joke should be saved for wife or long-term girlfriend where you know you'll get a laugh... or more accurately, an eye-roll and a 'threat' to not sleep with him for the next three months, LOL." - HovercraftIII1258
"Every time I get my nails done, my husband says something similar to that, and I always reply, 'I think they'd look good jammed in your eye sockets,' and we both laugh, LOL. But we've been married for over a decade. When we met and when we were dating, he was incredibly polite and possibly TOO slow in making advances. THIS is gross." - wingin_it0618
"This is exactly what I expect as a response from a man heavily in the dating scene right now. Like, sex is fine, but this guy really couldn't wait to go out on the date that was already set up and chill for ONE d**n night? If the girl is into you, it will happen when it happens. It says to me like he has no self-control." - BrayIsreal
"If he's giving you the ick, listen to that. It's not going to go away. Don't waste your own time or his. Plenty more fish in the sea, girl." - Zieglest
"As a man who is heavily in the dating world right now, that sounds like such a turn off, and any self-respecting girl who wants an actual relationship would not even talk to him anymore after this. It's so cringey and makes all of us guys look like there's no reason we want to go out with them other than getting laid. As a guy, it's really annoying; it makes girls weirded out by all of us. Sigh."
"Like, sex is fine, but this guy really couldn't wait to go out on the date that was already set up and chill for ONE d**n night? If the girl is into you, it will happen when it happens. It says to me like he has no self-control."
"That was the dumbest thing he could say to kill his chances. I wouldn't bother with him." - BrayIsReal
"NOR, I wouldn’t want to go anymore either. Making multiple sexual comments before even meeting someone is purposeful, and I doubt he remembers that you can’t do anything due to your surgery or even considers whether you want to."
"Don’t brush off how your gut makes you feel. If you are uncomfortable, then you are under no obligation to go." - AliBari
Others urged the OP to listen to her gut, not to go on that date, and to immediately block the guy.
"If he is already this forward, making sexual comments to a complete stranger, then it will only increase from here; he’s not going to suddenly stop. OP, if he already makes you feel uncertain or pressured, then don’t bother." - saiphxo
"Your gut is telling you something and wants to keep you safe. Don't ignore it." - SparkEli1
"Stay far, far away from this guy. Block. Don't look back. Men like this use high sex drive as a disclaimer for zero boundaries later." - CompetitionLankys
"Trust your intuition. Don’t go."
"I (39 Female) am very comfortable with casual sex and hook-ups. When single, I have never needed an emotional connection with a man to let off some steam. I don’t need him to make me feel special or like we have potential. I don’t need to know his hopes and dreams. I separate men into 'just sex' and 'potential for more' easily."
"I do need him to show the most basic level of respect and not be a creep. I would stop talking to this guy the instant he started speaking like that, even if my intention was to just f**k him."
"We are already talking, we are already about to go on a date, why is he turning it creepy sexual, what is that doing for either of us. It just speaks to a lack of judgment, I wouldn’t want to trust. If he can’t handle a basic text conversation without being a creep, why would I trust him to be alone with me?" - TheCa11ousB**h
"Ok, so I'm a degenerate, but even I wouldn't say something like 'those would look good wrapped around something' to a person I'd never met."
"I mean... do I have to be dad here and say the obvious? It's some guy on the internet who's looking to f**k. Is that really what you want? He can't even be bothered to type the d in the word 'and.'"
"Also, your nails look cool." - skippybeefree
"I’m more insulted that it’s just a terribly uncreative line. This guy's a bum!"
"Also, it's a huge red flag is the first thing he describes himself as a clean freak and needs things done his way. Sounds like a control freak, which would make me dip out immediately." - JeromeBarkley
"Only you know what you need to do. Feel safe. Feel comfortable. Feel SAFE!"
"If you don't, then cancel."
"Some men (I am a man) sometimes say way too much way too soon, and some men don't know how to hold a decent conversation. Sometimes just telling them how you feel about the sexual comments and seeing his reaction will tell you more than anything else he has ever said to you up until this point."
"But always remember you can choose to back out at any point in a date, even if you turn up to have dinner but can't walk in. The same goes for him as well if he turns up but doesn't walk in. We all have the right to feel safe and comfortable, especially on a first date." - Ok_goal6591
It was possible that the guy was just excited about the date, nervous to talk to someone new, socially awkward, or just joking at an inappropriate level.
Unfortunately, though, it was much more likely that these comments indicated the guy's expectations for the first date and how he would treat the OP if she set boundaries, especially regarding his inability to perform after surgery for safety reasons.
While it would be fun to meet someone new, it was much safer for the OP to wait for someone else.